28th November 2005

what a day, what a day, what a day... i'm like so fired up for exams to end... cant wait... most of the time i end up writting my feelings of the day n how things went for me n my outlook towards the world... well guess what???? i will do just that!!!!

my trip to KL this January is gonna be a blast!!! get to go on holiday n meet a few new friends... hopefully i get to go to KK n singapore this december... meet up with family... god i havent seen them in along time.. heard they were doing great... cant wait to meet em... =)

life for me now although single has been ok.... not much of a whinner now than i used to be... i can see where i went wrong n what mistakes not to make... its much easier this way....

well gotta go... got stuff to do... adios peeps... where ever you are... ;)

20th October 2005 (All for one and one for all... more or less..)

it has been quite a while peeps... miss me?? hahaha guess not... well here i am again.. whether u like it or not... hahaha i'm so mean.... i checkd out the msn spaces from messenger.. not bad, not bad... could use a little work tho... in terms of customization... man have i been busy... gotthe business up and running... building and building and building... 3 weeks plus and ord 20+ deep... wow!!! i couldnt believe it myself.. but i cant stop now... must keep momentum going.... which is why i feel exhausted all the time... coupled witht the assigments and stuff, its been one hell of a few weeks.... but i know this hard work wont go to waste.... i'm sure of it... i can feel its worth.... all i need to do is hold my head up high and just keep on moving forward... cant stop... some people might say i'm pushing myself too hard... well u only live once right? might as well give everything ur best shot... because i dun want to live with regrets... its one thing to have not tried something but to regret not trying it is worse... to live in a world where negativity is the menu of the day is quite a challange... thank god to my team... they've been there for me since day 1 and i hope they'll support me through my trying days... i've only been in for 3 weeks + so i'm still pretty green... i hope to learn more from my mentor cause he's one great man with a lot of experience and skill to hand down... and i want to be there to catch every bit of it... it might sound a bit too greedy but hey, i'd rather be greedy of knowledge than greeedy of debt or loans... i'm more financially intelligent now than i was a few weeks ago... i'm now interested on being a financial planner... it sounds easy but its not... i've had a go at that kind of job n i find it very rewarding... i guess being just an accountantisnt enough for me... i'm looking for better and harder things to test my true self to the limit... at this point of time i dun understand people when they say they cant do or they just dont have time to do certain things... to me that sounds ridiculous.. if other people can do it so can i right???? well i guess thats it for now peeps.. gotta go do my thing.... adios amigos...

25th September2005 (I Just Want You To Know...)

wow... wat an end to a very very eventful month... well in my case it was eventful... it was like being enlightened several times... or to put in a less dignified way, it was like i was piss drunk and high 24/7... let me see... i've been on a buzz everyday, working my ass off as if theres no tomorrow... i've been doin other people's work for a fee of course... i've had to readjust my attitude and way of thinking to the point of cracking my head into a few pieces n rearranging them... i've gotten my driving license which was so overdue... some people have now treated me in a different way... i've been called up by someone who's mobile no. is almost similar to mine... i've gotten a new cut which i have not had for a very long time... i've now know what i want out of life.... and i guess thats it....

hav u ever tried to forget about someone but cant seem to do it?? its like a invisible block inside your brain that u cant seem to throw out... u keep on thinking bout that person all the time... their smile... their face.. their personality... everything about them.... u might call it missing them... u might call it still hung up on them.... u know that no matter how hard u want to be with that person, it just cant happen... there's no link, no connection, no synergy.... ur brain tells u that u must let go n move on... but ur heart doesnt wanna.... sigh.... 4 people who say that its easy to forget bout them, they must be freakin heartless... everytime that person pasts through my mind, all those emotions that i felt for them comes rushing back... all the love, hate anger, jealousy... i guess the backstreet boys new song is a true thing... no matter how hurt or angry u become after a relationship, when u think about it, it was well worth it... and the funny thing is, u'd wish u could go back in time n do it again... there is nothing in this world that can compare to sweet memories... nothing.... well peeps i guess thats it for now... got class in a few minutes... adios amigos....

3rd September 2005 (Wake me up when september..... starts!!)

yes!!!! i hav done it!!!!! i have changed!!!!! well... i changed a bit.. i finally fixed up my handwritting a bit.. yes its not squigly or unreadable anymore.. if i can help it.. hehehe!!!! my focus has been solid for da past weeks.. focused on work, getting the work done, checkin if there's more n still givin room for a social life.. for now i feel great!!! i wanna get up n show da world wat i can do... i've also changed my personality a bit.. i kno some of u out there might object to this with reasons like "dats not being yourself" or "your not honest with yourself" or some other but i believe the changes i'm doing is for da better.. really i do... but if da changes somehow ends up making me the biggest jerk in da world, i'll admit defeat n return to my evil ways.. hehehhe!!! well the alterations arent really that drastic.. i've decided to open up my mind to new ideas, new approaches n new possibilities.. lets just say i've reached a new level of enlightenment for myself... call it a second awakening.. well peeps i've gotta run for now cause i'm using a comp in an office somewhere in uni (cant really tell u where for the sake of da doubt)... adios!!!!

18th August 2005 (Feel Good Inc.)

yes people!!! the title is absolutely correct.... to some extent.. tomorrow's da peak for the chinese hungry ghost festival!!!! that means.... more bad dreams n sleepless nites for me!!!! thank god i dun have any important exams comin up or else i'd be toast.. who came up with this festival anyway?!?!? my guess is a few of our ancestors (from wayyyyyyyyyyyyyy back) began 2 experience strange phenomenons... sudden storms n such.. since they didnt know wat caused it they tot it was done by spirits n decided "hey! lets make a festival for da spirits so they'd be 2 drunk to be angry at us!!"... n u know da rest.. geez.. well i'm glad its almost over.. if i can get thru tonite without a single incident (which has never happened in da past 2 weeks) then i believe its truly over... for everyone else... for me, i'd wish these eyes could see so much... anyway, on a happier note, i made a few new friends.. but sadly some of them are going away 2 pursue studies abroad.. it was a pleasure meetin them even tho it was for a short while.. best of luck 2 all of them!!! u will be missed!! regarding studying abroad... i found out (after an intensive, long, minutes of Q & A with the coordinator) that i basically need an overall grade of 'A' for semester 3 and 4 if i wanna compete to go to sheffield.. an 'A'?! its hard enough maintainin a 'C' average!! but after several hours of thought n consideration... i've decided if thats wat it takes then i'll do it.. i dun wanna go 2 queensland cause da course there is essay-type course, thus i'll have 2 make due wit this news n pool all my resources into achieving this almost impossible goal... i really really really wanna go!! drat... cant i just get a 'C' n still go? sigh...

i decided 2 not take any additional courses this and next semester, no eca's and less socializing... boy, this is goin 2 be a long semester... well guess dats it for now.. i better get some sleep.. havent had one in 2 weeks... adios amigos...

8th August 2005 (One Crazy And Long Night)

Ah... the second week... i feel revived... u wanna know why??? the first week of school ended with a bang but it only concerned 2 ppl... me n hyena.. lets just say we had one of our "boy's only" night out n we found n met a few new people along the way... both of us needed something 2 cheer us up n dat excursion brought us into a new light.. we made a deal that we'll keep each other's head focused on studies because neither of us, n i mean neither of us, can afford to mess up... n boy do we hav a long semester in front of us.. during our pre-excursion planning (we did this in a bookshop mind u), i met a girl whom i find quite cute.. the strange thing is.. she's not really my type of girl in terms of appearance.. but.. she somehow caught my attention... now believe it or not, she's the cashier of the shop (Argghh!!! secret's out!!! N yes i'm guilty!!).. see the thing that ticks me off the most was that i was so captivated n bewildered that i forgot 2 ask her name n her number... n me n hyena were practically talking bout our plans with her but somehow i forgot to ask her name!!!!! now me n hyena keep on referring to her as the "bookshop girl"... well all is not lost since we're (well it was my idea actually) going back 2 da shop before the end of this week 2 ask for her name n most im-por-tant-ly, her number... i hope i dun get shot down cause i'd really like 2 get 2 know her... i just hope i'm not somehow related to her cause if i was, boy does news travel fast in my family... but hyena n me are still wonderin bout her age n level of education.. yes yes i kno this might sound funny but its im-por-tant to know how old n how smart the girl is because lets face it, nobody would like 2 have a girlfriend who cant entertain u with her jokes n punish u in ways only she can imagine (hahaha kinky!!!)... if she cant get up 2 my standards then i'm sorry, she would have 2 be ignored (yes yes i kno dats evil but wat can i say, i am evil...).. so far, dat girl is still in da A list but how long can she stay there??? only time can tell... well i gotta scram, duty calls... adios peeps....

4th August 2005 (The Collector)

i kno da title sounds a bit strange but no i didnt sell my soul 2 da devil... well at least not yet.. hahaha... ah da first week of school... kind of an auspicious week than any other week.. new faces, new classes, new challenges and not forgettin new problems.. i still havent forgotten my promise 2 myself.. i'm tryin my best 2 step up my game n its not as easy as it looks.. there r like so many temptations n if u kno me very well, u kno i wouldnt pass it up.. rarely do.. BUT i must resist!! must resist urge!! I AM MY OWN MASTER!!! but... in the end... i couldnt resist.. hehehe... well i guess u cant stop doin somethin so suddenly.. now i'm tryin to cut back little by little.. slowly changing my habits n state of mind to a more academic state.. i've been slowly goin 2 da library more n more 2 look 4 books that would be good references.. believe it or not i used 2 be quite da bookworm in my childhood.. reading this, reading that, absorbing information... my teachers helped a lot in feeding my thirst 4 knowledge.. they teached me stuff heleped me get through most of my exams not just then but right now as well... 2 my old teachers!! i salute u all!!! if it wasnt for them, i wouldnt be wat i am now... which is somehow a good thing n a bad thing at da same time.. well i certainly believe its a good thing (*cough*)... hehehe but seriously folks, for wat its worth, i really appreciate wat they did for me.. well thats that.. oh, the hostel canteens hav finally changed managements!!! (*yay*) but... somehow all the hype is all a bunch of crap.. da food is ok i guess but if i had money right now i'd rather eat out.. lets make a comparison.. the guys hostel canteen has a big screen tv with astro n a pool table.. the girls hostel canteen has a radio.. the guys canteen has ok food but tends to over spice n season.. the girls canteen also has ok food but some of their portions r 2 small... both canteens have great service... so now, which canteen is better??? i'll let u decide since i cant decide myself.. u know wat? if any of u hav tried the friendster games u'll kno wat i'm talkin bout.. da thing is if both players dun hav a good connection, it will lag so much that u wouldnt be able to take a shot... well peeps i'm runnin out of time so i guess this is it.. adios amigos.. ;)

19th July 2005 (Get tipsy!!!)

although u kno wat da title means but wat i've been doin durin da hols has been completely da opposite.. i've been sober... jeez.. its hard 2 believe.. i still remember when i'd sneak a drink from my secret stash.. (sorry hyena n z 4 not sharin!!).. since my stash ran out round bout da time exams finished, i havent had... wait... nope.. didnt hav a drop... hahaha... its funny tho... no withdrawal symptoms, no urges... nothing... but now that i mention it i've been missin da old occasionalo shot of spirit.. since i've been watchin discovery travel n adventure, i've started 2 build up my hunger 4 some spirits.. maybe a trip down 2 miri would do da trick... hehehe... it also seems like da only email i've been gettin is junk n notifications dat ppl hav updated their blogs on friendster (which is really annoying but da pros beat da cons of it).. i'll be gettin a new haircut tommorow!!! hope it'll be as good as my last one.. my hair now is so long dat it pokes n covers my neck like all da time.. will be sittin 4 my drivin license written test da day after (wish me luck).. cant wait 2 finally be able 2 drive roun on my own without havin 2 call up ppl 4 a ride.. i'd like 2 thank all my frenz who has had da annoying task of drivin me roun 4 so long.. i appreciate u guys (n girls).. with out u ppl, my life would hav been a total drag.. there's somethin i hav 2 confess.. after da visit from KUIM, i've started 2 feel a renewed vigor n spirit.. its like i now hav a goal n my drive is as high as ever.. rite now i WANT 2 study, i WANT 2 get good grades.. frankly i WANT 2 make money.. as much money as i can.. i hope this holds up... i cant let myself lose this... its time i really step up my game n get in da pace.. i jus realised dat life can never be easy no matter wat u say.. if u think u can just wait 4 a chance 2 come by u, ur absolutely wrong.. 2 get a chance u'll need 2 make it come 2 u.. u NEED 2 earn your chances my friend.. dats da main reason why i've changed my mind.. i'll just do it!!! no time 2 fool aroun any mo!! orientation starts next week!! hope i'll hav fun takin care of da new juniors n new sushi (thanks 4 da reminder marty!).. makin new friends has been quite a challange in my case but friendships dat i initiate (without da help of a third party) still hold strong up to this day.. when ever i meet up wit them we go bout as if we never seperated.. saying goodbye is always hard.. when we had 2 say goodbye 2 da KUIM students, i hav 2 confess i was in such a bad mood dat i almost wanted 2 scream n hold on 2 them so they wouldnt go... but my common sense was strong enough to resist dat urge.. *sniff*.. no matter how long or short a friendship is, it still hurts when u miss them.. (jaz, keyla, suhaib, syafiq.. i'm sorry i havent msged but i've been busy n my creds been low so please forgive me.) but i swear that i'll visit them when i get da chance.. da first chance i get, i'll take it... i've been havin wierd dreams again... one last night n another da night before.. one was about me n da guys being bored n was ready 2 go out wit a couple of girls which we somehow knew.. da other one i cant quite remember but it had da sme jist.. both had somethin 2 do wit goin out... i believe i'll be gettin a surprise this semester.. i'll just wait n see wat destiny has in store 4 me.. hehehe... well peeps i'm gettin tired n runnin out of stuff 2 write so i'll call it quits 4 now.. adios amigos.. =)

20th June 2005 "It's all about you..."

well peeps i'm back!!!! miss me?? hahaha!!! if u havent guessed from the title... u got it all wrong... i couldnt think of a title so i might as well put the title of the song dats been in my head 4 a while (thanks to fox).. its all about u... its a nice song i'll giv u dat.. meaningful lyrics.. its been a very long time... results came out n i did ok i guess (dis is comin 4 a guy who had a mind set of failing 2 of my courses).. things came n went.. in my case... the past, present n future came back 2 haunt me... as i said once 2 a friend, some things are better left dead n buried, never again 2 surface.. i've found out about certain things dat hav happen n frankly i wished i never did.. wow dat sounds like something out of a sci fi movie.. hahaha.. but its true... i never knew how certain actions n events could change certain things.. to think i could've been different from wat i am 2day.. its not dat i'm not grateful n all... but i wished i could've done certain things in my life differently.. god (2 all da animals out dere, u kno i'm serious).. sigh.. been catching up on stuff... its been so long dat my online game character has been partying n shopping like crazy... on the flip side he's freakin rich now.. hahaha!!!! people come n go but friends are here 2 stay... so i thought but it doesnt really matter since its only a remote case... so far i see no one has changed.. although they might change in apperance but i kno they're still da same.. n for dat i'm glad.. =) missin a few people who i havent seen in a long time... wish could see u all!!! i reallly doooo!!! hey hey guess wat?! i found something really cool.. read dis...

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hehehe!!! its so god damn funny!!! i fished it out of someone's list of testimonials (drey if ur reading this, i'm sorry but i had 2 do it! hehe!!) now where was i.... oh yes... today (yes i mean the moment i'm writing this) i found out something n my heart got crushed... yes it got crushed... wat hurt da most was dat dat person didnt mention it 2 me... not i word or peep... n dat hurt me even more.. i kno dat people need 2 keep some secrets but this secret shouldnt be kept.. well i'm not sure of it anyway but i'll find out soon enough if its true... damn.. why do i keep doing it 2 myself?!?!?! why do i hav 2 be two things at once?! the pessimist n the optimist.. the angel n the devil... whenever i try 2 pick a side, people always think i pick da wrong side... maybe they're right maybe they're wrong.. i dunno... i've been feeling too tired n sick 2 do anything bout it.. even my online game character is sick of his life... man... do i sound like a psycho or wat?! i dunno wats wrong with me... i've been havin wierd dreams.... always sad.. always angry.. always disappointed... never a happy ending.. wat happened 2 my other dreams dat have happy endings?!?! helloooo!!!! are u out there???? i need u 2 come back now!!!!! a 21yr old chinese-malay young adult needs help here!!!!!! (does dis sound familiar 2 u horse?? hehehe!!) ahhhh... feel a lot better now.. its good 2 release some tension once in a while by doing ridiculous stuff... wow!! guess wat?! i just found a few more old friends who i havent seen in a while!!! thank u friendster!!! been missing these guys so much n now i hav a chance 2 catch up with them!!!! yay!!!! hope they still remember me... ah jis... a school full of memories... i wonder how da old gang is doin.. if i remember well they did say dat we should hav a reunion every 8 years... guess everyone forgot bout it.. sigh.. i dunno how long i'll be in this world... yes i kno nobody knows dat but i kinda wished i did... u kno so i can make a list n then try 2 finish it off before my demise.. it may sound sad but didnt u ever wished dat u could've done this or done that?? uh uh uh!!!! (i kno, it makes me sound like a monkey) i found something again!!! read this...

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hahahaha!!! got this off another testi from someone.. man i dunno if the writer was pissed or it was just his sarcasm... i kno a few people who r like dat but dats why i love them sooo much!!!! a few of my frenz say i've changed... maybe i hav... some people started 2 treat me differently... there's my paranoid side talking again.. hahahaha!!! been in da hostel 4 quite a while now.. i havent been home... dunno why.. sigh.. sometimes people call me wierd bcoz of da things i do but when it comes down 2 it, they kno they dont really mean it.. if i'm happy, they're happy n vice versa... if i ever hav a reunion, i would make this speech..

+Ladies n gentlemen!!! its great 2 hav u all back!! gosh its been so long!! all of u look fantastic!! seeing ur faces brings back good memories. hope u all remember me. yes yes its me da kampung boy, fishballs, u kno da rest. i've missed u guys! i've kept in touch wit some of u but even then we didnt talk much. i hope u all hav great lives n achieved great things. i kno all of u are capable of it. after all these years, when i look back, no one could ever match up to u guys, n gals. u people were the best n forever will be, in my heart. well then, lets get this party started!!!!+

hahaha!!! well peeps gotta go... got a movie 2 watch.. luv u all.. adios!!!!

16 May 2005 (The Long Holiday)

*sigh*.... i cant beleive i've been in uni 4 a year ord... its like a dream u kno... its like waking up and realising that ur all grown up and cant do watever u like anymore... u've got work, responsibilities... *sigh*... now is da last day to stay at the hostel and i have to pack up my stuff... i've just realized dat i havent been home for quite a while now... ever since i've been at the hostel, i've only gone home 4 times (minus the december break)... i wonder how the house cat is... i've got 2 take his picture again.. hehehe.. he's so lovable... now i'll finally get 2 catch up on my tv shows on astro.. yay!!! discovery travel and living, here i come!!! if i cant go to places, at least i can see wat its like... i dunno how many of u out there (yes i mean u who's reading this right now!) reads any of this crap that i write but i thank you from the bottom of my heart.. no seriously, i mean it.. anyone who would take their time to read sum1 else's heart pourin blogs or postings has 2 be a good person.. yes yes u may dismiss it as curiousity or u wanted 2 see if u were mention or if ur just looking 4 gossip, deep down u kno dat u sorta feel wat the writer is feeling, their pain, happiness, anger, anguish... and for that i salute u all... 4 me it doesnt really matter if anyone reads any of this... this is the only place where i can pour out all my feelings, no censors... of course i do give discretion 4 somethings but most if not all of my postings here is 99.99% accurate and raw... just like sushi.... hehehe... to tell u da truth, i get this feelin dat some ppl cant seem 2 warm up 2 me 4 some reason... ah, maybe its jus me... this academic year has wizzed by in a flash.. but no matter how many people i meet, i still feel dat somethings missin.. its all fine and dandy meeting and making new frenz but i crave for a more deeper, meaningful relationship... ah, enough about this... geezz, i sound like an old sarcastic bastard.. crap.. i forgot wat i was goin 2 write next.. its so like me ya? its like the time i forgot to bring a dvd to a fren.. hahaha she had 2 wait till before the start of the of school break (in march or feb) before she got it.. she still hasnt returned it tho.. i forgot 2 ask.. oh well, its only a $3 dvd.. its not like i really need it back or somethin.. damn some people still have my stuff.. cds, shirts, notes, books... hahaha... well at least i can brag that i have possessions all over the world... yes!!! now i rememeber wat i wanted to write!!! i'm goin away peeps!!! not 2 the afterlife cause its way to early... i'm going home where the only contact with da outside world is thru astro... kidding... i just wont have time to write anymore until next semester... so dont be sad cause i'll recommend u something dat will keep u busy during my absence.. comics!!! download em at stoptazmo.com!!! there's like loads there so happy readin!!! since thats sorted out, lets continue with other matters... last night the most amazing thing happened... i kno how 2 play winning eleven!!! 4 those who dont know me, i suck at playin winning eleven.. i'm not joking.. i was so bad at it i lost to my uncle 7-0.. and he used nigeria... but last night i actually pressured some experienced player by almost winning!!!! yahoo!!! i'm so gonna practice playin it at home!!!! speakin of which i still have loads to pack up... mom pickin me up at 5pm some other... i wonder how i'll start writing my CV up.. i shoulda took note of the sample CV that H gave to chameleon... damn... i so need a job.. not because i actually need it but i just want more $ 2 spend!!! my lifestyle has so kicked up my expenses... i'm now labelled as a certified spendthrift... i kno, i kno, i should've been more careful, i should've not spend it on useless junk and yes i should try to remember how hard it is to get $.... but i cant help it!!! i have this urge 2 buy stuff just for the sake of havin it!!! no wonder my room is full of junk... i also hav the tendency of not throwing old stuff away... i have this bottle of perfume thats ord 9 years old!!! there's still like quite a lot of it left... god, i've got to learn to get a hold of myself... yes yes yes must get job, then get $, then spend $... hehehehe.... u kno i missed havin some1 special aroun.. i've been readin a profile on frenster and it touched me.. its been so long dat i'm afraid i cant give my all to dat person.. i feel dat dat certain part of me will slowly die off.. i'm afraid that my warmth to dat certain person will not be there.. some people say i'm 2 serious, i seem 2 angry... when u love someone, it shapes u.. it teaches u how to give comfort, how to give support, how to give it your all... in return u will receive the same.. its a beautiful thing... for me, it is no more... i've ord lost it.. instead i've taken to listening 2 da problem of others... there r people in this world who've really got it bad... trust me i kno.. believe it or not, quite a few ppl have confided and consulted me for advise, academic or personal.. so now i'm proposing an agreement 2 all of u who read this... since u have taken your time 2 read my postings, i, in turn will give up my time 2 listen 2 your woes.. thats right, i can be your confidant.. u can tell or ask me anything u like and i'll promise i'll keep it a secret.. some people say i should charge 4 my services but i choose not 2 because if everyone had 2 pay 2 get someone to listen 2 them, people who cant afford 2 will be neglected... i've made a lot of mistekes in my lifetime... 2 many in fact... i grew up with out havin someone who i can talk to, tell all my secrets, share all my woes and happiness... but someone saved me... a total stranger, who listened without judging, without bias, without discrimination... so now i'm returning da favor back... i'm all ears to all of u.... i'll try 2 be there whenever u need me... thats a promise... well peeps i gtg.. got stuff to pack and things to do... adios... bless u all... see ya whenever i get back!!!!!

4 May 2005 (Happiness)

these past few days have been a whirlwind of wierd but delightful events... both N and i have realised something.. we're both falling for each other.. 4 those who know us, its a very unlikely event... i dunno how it happened.. first she asked me if a girl was 2 tell me dat she's falling for me, wat would i say and do... u see for the past few days i've been thinkin whether or not i am falling for her.. da funny thing was i was going to ask her the same question.. anyway, i told her dat it would depend on who it was and then i asked her wat would she do and say if the same thing happened to her.. well wouldnt u kno it her answer was the same as mine.. then i asked her why did she me dat question and was she thinking about the same thing.. and yes she was.. so the both of us we're thinking bout the same thing but she got 2 me first since i didnt have much cred... hahaha.. regardless of wat happened, last night we talked on the phone again.. it kinda felt ackward at first.. there were moments of silence.. i was thinking of breakin the ice but somehow she got 2 it first.. then we started talking bout stupid stuff but then our conversation somehow got serious.. last night we were practically flirting and getting to know each other... my god!! if chameleon or Z or anyone found out, they're gonna freak!! they're gonna be so like " i told u so!!"... then we started to talk about how we like to treat our spouses and other stuff which is 2 explicit to mention on this page... finally both of us decided that we wouldnt mention this 2 anyone.. N is probably talkin 2 chameleon rigggghhhttt nnnnooooowwwww.... but for wat its worth, i actually feel happy... i have no regrets... well its still 2 early to be sure of anything but this relationship is gonna get interesting... hehehe... well i guess dats it peeps!! adios!!!

28 April 2005 (The Quickening)

its been a while since my last post.. i've been a very busy bee.. my jap oral exam (sounds dodgy doesnt it?) went extremely well despite my early nervousness.. completed my jap assignment and handed it in on da same day.. then it started.. first N texted me sayin dat ST had gotten married last month.. big surprise!!! she didnt expected it, i didnt expected it.. it was just so sudden.. then we found out why he didnt reply da birthday text she sent him.. the msg contained 2 parts of 2 different msgs.. the upper part was right while the other half was CP's msg... wat a mess up!! Strike 1!!! then N got a birthday text from CP... they got talking but CP was being a jerk and acting childish.. she tried to explain wat was goin on cause she thought he'd want to kno since he is still da bf.. but turns out he was more interested in talkin bout his work probs and kept on changing da topic when she tried to talk about "them"... this just proves that he doesnt care.... it makes me think dat he got with her because she was goin 2 be a doctor n she's gonna earn big bucks... he wasnt even supportive n didnt wanna listen to her troubles n woes.. it makes me sick.. its just not humanly possible to do such a thing... Strike 2!!! N and i got talkin... we discussed bout the stuff dats happened and finally came with a few solutions... if she does receive bad news from da uni, its the last straw but at least she'll be home... she wants to dump CP but she cant come bout how since he's so stubborn n utter stupid... trust me he's so stupid, he couldnt see a dog even if it was right infront of him.. n since he owes her money (like $1500) i suppose she cant just dump him without gettin it back.. so i suggested her to forget da money, dump him and start off fresh and stay outta da game for a while.. u kno take a breather... i kno i'm not suppose to suggest such things but believe me, this guy definitely deserves it.. i pity the next girl who falls for him.. i wish i could just rid this world of him permanently for the sake of mankind... he made her cry so much its a wonder chameleon hasnt killed him yet... but chameleon doesnt know yet.. N asked me to break the news to her and Z... guess it aint gonna be pretty... well peeps, this story is to be continued another time... adios...

20th April 2005 (My SoulMate)

a lot of things has happened.. very wierd things... N and i have noticed that we have the same tendencies and not to mention the same behaviourial patterns.. whoa.. i just sounded like a 17 year old kid who was into psychology... which was me when i was 17 of course.. hahaha.. lets take 4 example last sunday, the 17th.. i was at chameleon's place doin work n i was msgin N at the same time.. suddenly i had the urge to lie down n take a nap.. when i woke up, N msged me sayin that she just woke up 2.. so we both slept at the same time and woke up around the sam etime as well.. coincidence? maybe.. lets take another time.. yesterday.. i was msgin her.. at that time i was lying on my bed, rolling around.. then i found out that she was doin the same thing while she was msgin with me! another coincidence? maybe.. how about last week when we were talking on the phone n both of us decided to rip the skin off our blisters? hhmmmm... it seems to me dat these coincidences are certainly not.. a coincidence.. then she brought up da possibility dat she's my soulmate..then i thought, yeah dat could be it... u kno it really funny n freaky at the same time to have sum1 who sometimes acts like u, thinks like u, speaks like u.. but most of the time it bloody funny!! hahahaha!!! well adios peeps... got stuff 2 do!!!

16 April 2005 (The Loneliness)

just when you think u can achieve something, something else comes up.. third place... we got 3rd place for the bowling tourney.. oh well, i suppose since we played like crap i suppose we deserve it.. hahaha.. ever since N when went back, we've been msg a lot n i mean a lot.. plus we've been talkin on the fone.. even though there's like a 7 hour time difference i still manage to be able 2 talk.. since i dun even go into class most of the time so its no big deal.. its been a long time since i've had a conversation with someone.. u kno the kind of conversation dat u pour your out wats in your heart n soul because u kno dat other person is willing to listen.. n in return they pour out theirs.. it like a mutual exchange.. sharing feelings help me cope with stress.. she feels the same way 2.. i guess we need each others support.. since we have certain things in common its pretty easy for us to talk bout stuff.. i kno she's goin through tough times.. school, relationships, life.. all of that is going to shit.. i didnt expect to ever warm up to her u kno? at first i thought wow she's in med school, she's goin 2 be a doctor, she has a boyfriend who loves her... the fact was her boyfriend treats her like crap.. since i found out about i cant stop thinkin dat in someways she's just like me.. she once told me dat all she wanted was happiness.. the freaky thing was i 2 just wanted happiness.. u kno some people take it for granted.. i've been through a lot of shit n i kno dat the most important thing in life, is happiness.. it doesnt really matter who u share it with.. its the thought dat counts.. so the both of us are really just tryin to make each other happy.. to make our loneliness disappear.. although i'm spendin a fortune msgin her, in the end its all worth it.. at least i'm not alone.. at least i'm happy.. adios...

9 April 2005 (Psyched)

i'm officially ready for the bowling tourney!!!!! with an average of 142 pins!!! woohooo!!! a lillte higher than that then i'm ready to play in big tourneys!!!!! i wonder if my parents will mind if i bought bowling gear... hmmmm... maybe yes but they'll accept it eaither way..... ahahaha wat a week... yesterday's practice session went well for me... not so well for Z and hyena... i'm tryin to figure out a way to get them psyched cause thats the only way they can do well... maybe a little music can do the trick... well i hope we do win this tourney... we've practiced a lot and we've improved so i think we have a chance... the problem now is i'm flat broke... btw to anyone who is reading this i'm selling my nike shox for $90.. only wore em twice, size 10 US and its water proof... i really need money for practice and the uniform... of well... R and i have getting really close lately.. she's really nice despite the slight age gap... we have this bond thats seems as if we know wat the other is thinking.. maybe we are two of a kind... but then again she's not my type... havin someone to talk to this past few days is a blessing... chameleon and N... my 2 blessings... i've spent most of my time with them and i've enjoyed every moment... thanks girls... bot of u r the best friends i could have.. not to mention the looniest 2!!!! but i still wish the original group would get together again like old times... me, hyena, Z and chameleon... roaming around, going out, hanging out... hyena and Z are movin in a different direction than me and chameleon... i guess its inevitable... but i hope we can be like the old times for a few more times if not at least once... just the 4 of us, the world at our feet, nothing too stupid, nothing to crazy and nothing to dangerous to do... well thats it for now... gonna go bowling with my blessings... yay!!! adios peeps!!!

6 April 2005 (The Flu)

i feel so sick i cant even see straight... with the work, bowling n other stuff to think about no wonder my head seems to pulsate more... hahaha shouldnt have slacked so much... but it cant be helped now.. exams are bout 3 weeks away n i'm no where close to understanding the crap i've been fed... i guess i wont be passing this semester... sigh... wish life would be much easier.. i wish i was a kid again... no worries... nothing much to think bout.. life was to be taken as it was.. sigh... kids nowadays... they dont know wats waiting for them... hahaha i cant wait for the day i see my little cousins scamper here and there to get their essay done in time... hahaha bowling practice went well... but my sore finger brought my average down last practice... crap... i need those things u wrap roun your fingers.... n a wrist band to stop my wrist from throwing the wrong way... hahaha wonky fingers... hahaha.. update on love life... i have none... its just sad really... why do i go after girls who r not right for me.... hahah its like a curse... its always the girls i dont want going after me instead... hahaha red bag!!!! hahahaha bowling tourney is a week away... goldfish finally joined with his team... i'm not worried.. my scores are more consistent than any of his or his teammates... the only 1 who hasnt practiced is hyena.... personally i wouldnt worry too much but somethings up... somethings amiss... well i'll find out sooner or later... chameleon n her sister are going to miri today to check for bowling gear.. i asked them to do a price check.. if its expensive there i'll just go to s'pore to buy the gear.. i heard in s'pore they have nicer n cheaper gear... my fever n flu has been drivin me nuts.. cant sleep right... cant eat right... cant think straight... jus writing this blog i made a few mistakes.... cant wait for the long holiday... but i still hav 2 go to ubd cause english starts in june... arrggghhh.... why?!?!?!?! i wanna work n rest n hangout with my frenz........ oh well.... guess dats it.. adios peeps...

5 April 2005 (Bowling Frenzy)

wat a week.... bowling practice, bowling practice, bowling practice... the good news is my average is getting higher!!!! the bad news is my fingers are so sore i can hardly type an sms... sigh... guess trade offs like dat happen often... on other things.... despite gettin misscalls from J which i have been dying to get... i didnt reply any of them... i dunno why... maybe its because she didnt answer my msg last friday... or maybe i've just realized that she's the kind of person who would lie through their teeth even though in the end it would hurt that person... i hate those kind of people... if you're reading this J, keep it in mind... crap, i'm suppose to be in class right now.. wat am i doing here writing this blog... maybe i jus wanna avoid J for the time being... maybe i dont really need her... well nonetheless if she needs me i'll be willing to do watever i can.. i'm just a msg away.... chameleon's sister is goin back to uk soon... i finally found out her age but i promised not to tell anyone.... well i guess thats it for now... Z n the rest must be looking for me by now.. adios peeps...

2 April 2005 (April's Fool)

another day, another story... chameleon has finally decided to break off with ah kit again.. but for how long... spending time with chameleon n her sis has been a blast this past few days.. great times.. some of my happiest times were with her... i dunno why i feel like that... maybe i've fallen?? who knows... even though i know she's not my type and i'm not hers, why do i have strong felings for her??? i guess its my loneliness is wats pulling me towards her... Z felt sorta left out since i've been goin out with chameleon a lot and making plans without her... but its all okay now... yesterday was april fools day.. somehow i forgot bout it... i got a call from kb yesterday... i didn't know who it was... i was havin a shower when my phone rang... then J miscalled out of the blue in the afternoon... then i found out from tikus dat the house call from kb was j's house number.. and when i msged her, no reply... wat is she tryin to pull... who cares.. i dunno wat 2 say anymore.. i'm so tired... i'm so sick of girls who cant decide on their feelings... well i gtg again... adios...

30 March 2005 (The Complete Make-Over)

hahaha it's been a few days since i've written up anything... been so busy with stuff.... had a complete make-over for my wardrobe and my hairstyle... its like so rad... i practically look chinese!!!! the only drawback would be the price tag for this change... i drained over $250 for it... i had 2 owe people some money... but overall i'm pretty satisfied with it... i would like 2 thank chameleon and her sister for taking their time to be my stylists... trust me, they're very good... hahahaha i've just done my IBE presentation a couple of hours ago... not many questions were asked since most of the guys promised not to ask... but some how fox brought up the really stupid question about domestic waste... trust me u dont wanna know... hahaha i kept myself busy to get my mind off somethings dat arent worth mentioning... oppss... i gtg... got jap class.. adios ppl...

26 March 2005 *The Awakening*

Muahahahahaha!!!!! i've finally created a REAL blog!!!! hhmmmm... wats the big deal anyway??? a blog.... is just a blog rite?? hahahaha i guess i'm sick of the friendster blog so i decided to kill some time and make a new one... lets get down to business shall we.. i msged J asking her wat she thought of me and her first impression of me... i've listened other peoples first impressions of me and they were quite shocking sometimes but i have 2 say hers was the most shocking as of yet.. ready to hear wat she said?!?! for those of you who've known me for quite a while, u may find this shocking as well... she described me as... quite a gentleman.... (pause to give way for hurls of puke).... and her first impression.... nothing special... (pause to give way for the secong wave of puke)... nothing special... dats odd... there's always something bout me worth noticing.. my thinness, my sometimes wacky hairstyle, my blue shades, my sometimes odd dress sense, my nose, my eyes.... at least something... but no.... she found nothing... oh well guess she's not the observant type... probably i wasn't worth taking notice of anyway... i wonder wat she's doin rite now... hhmmm... she says she's already settled with BH (which stands for bung hole)... but i think it wont be long before BH goes at it again... its his nature... of all the times when i shouldn't try to feel sorry for other people... i do feel sorry for them... guess dats my nature... if J just wants to be friends, i might as well start looking for other girls... guess she's got someone dat she wants... cant be dwelling on her all the time can we?? so lets move on!!!! the funniest thing happened last night.. we went to empire to catch a movie but robots wasnt showing so they (naga, buaya, garfield, jerung and goldfish) decided to watch miss congeniality 2 at the mall cause they thought it was 2 expensive at empire... little dat they knew dat at the mall its was the same price... so we ended up walking round the mall and eating at mister pizza... me and Z had a string of msgs dedicated to my laundry dat night... hahaha its funny really... you know... no matter how many times we think we're lonely, most of the time we're not actually lonely.... we've got friends dat care bout us, our parents, our siblings, our classmates... the only thing dat would be missing is dat someone special... someone dat you care bout who cares for you the same way... i thought i found dat someone but i was mistaken... guess i'll have to keep on looking.... i've been very picky at times but no more... i remember the old days... hahahaha well i guess this is it...... adios.... XP