Chronicles of Lee Sheng Jun

31st May 2011 [ faith, prayers and hope ]

2011-05-31T01:59:00.002+08:00

what is written here does not represent what i feel all the time.....

it does not represent my main point of view in life....

what it represents is my feelings, my emotions, my thought at this precise moment... nothing more.. nothing less....

i feel as if i have been woken up from a strange dream.... a dream where i THOUGHT i was doing the RIGHT thing... it felt right.... it seemed right... but now i realize that there is fault in my thinking... i was, with a lack of better words... a stupid idiot....

i've done many mistakes in my entire life... and this recent mistake is something i did not intentionally do... however, the consequences that follow make it seem that there is a point of no return......

at this moment, i feel extreme grief... remorse, sadness.. a mixture of emotions that i have not felt in a long time... the emotions that emerge from making a mistake.... you might assume, as i have, that i am capable enough to not make such a mistake... however, you are, as am i, wrong..... being human demands us to make mistakes... whether we like it or not.....

at this point in time.... i feel regretful of my actions.... and i know and accept that what is done is done... you cannot change the past.... and i know very well that the punishment, be it by human hands or by god... is very, very, very painful.....

could i have prevented it, maybe... could i have reacted in a better way, of course... but be it as it may... this is the situation i am in... all that is left to do is pray to god.... have faith in god... and have hope that god will give you a sign, an answer or a solution....

if god gives me nothing... i will have no choice but to accept..... but i will do whatever i can to not lose this woman i am undoubtedly in love with.... because i believe that god guided me to her when i prayed and for that i must not lose her.... allah is merciful and allah has boundless patience... but what he gives, he can also take away.....

ya allah.. your servant is begging for your forgiveness... i have done a great wrong and for that i will accept any punishment you will give me O' merciful one... guide me to the right path ya allah... as you are all powerful and all knowing.. amin...

Untitled 4

2010-06-27T12:10:00.002+08:00

being in a pissed off mood is really not my style... i just realized something abt i tho.. am i expecting something in return by being like this?? is it really worth my time and energy being like this? it finally occurred to me that i cud just let this feeling go... bcoz the fact is.. its making me unhappy... it making me miserable.. its just pure torture...

that begs the question.. how did i end up in this mood in the first place? when i think abt it.. it was all just in my head... i made myself this way.. it was me that gave myself a reason to be pissed.. and it was me who choose to feel this way.. man.. it sucks to find out that the reason ur miserable is bcoz of ur mind...

Untitled 3

2010-06-15T18:50:00.003+08:00

trust... what is trust?.... the more appropriate question would be what is distrust?.... distrust is when you feel that the other person is hiding something or not telling the truth... distrust is when you constantly wonder and imagine the things the other person does behind ur back... distrust is the constant nag in your mind that pushes you to question everything about that other person.....

why do i sound like someone with trust issues? thats bcoz i do have trust issues... i can imagine that there are people who have bigger trust issues... im not saying that i can match them, no... im just saying that the things that have happened to me have made me distrust people in a certain aspect of my life... relationships....

i have been lied to... i have been duped.. i have been ridiculed... and now... no matter how much i try.... i cant seem to stop distrusting the girl i want to be with..... everyday is a struggle... my chest tightens every time i hold it back... i clench my teeth.. my head start to hurt....

in the past, i would have destroyed myself... physical abuse.... mental abuse... substance abuse... anything to get my mind of it... and that always leads to the destruction of my relationship............... when asked why did i do it?..... all i had to say would have been.. "this is the only thing i can do to cope.... if i dun do this... i will die..."..... for several years, i have repeated that sentence over and over again.... knowingly abusing myself...

back then i didnt believe in god... in fact, i believed i was god... but now... i know that god exists... and he watches us.. always... he knows when you are lying.. he knows when you are sincere....

i have prayed to him... asked him for his help... for forgiveness... for courage... for peace of mind... for a kind heart... and for the ability to trust....

to deem us worthy of his blessings.. we are put to the test... the tests will be hard... but now i have realized that it is during that we should remember to pray to god and ask for forgiveness... and not whine and say "why god? why have you done this?"... because a blessing earned through trials and hardship, is more appreciated than one obtained easily....

dear god.... bless your servant for his body is but of flesh, his heart is weak and his mind is confused... bless me god with good health, a strong and kind heart and a sharp mind.. bless my family, my loved ones and my brothers and sisters in faith... bless your servant with the strength, courage and wisdom to overcome his times of weakness and doubt... and last but not least, bless those who have come before me, as if it were not for them, i would not have existed... amin...

Untitled 2

2010-06-07T00:12:00.002+08:00

god give me strength to push through this madness..

god give me strength to push through this sadness..

god give me strength to push through this silence..

i pray to god for happiness..

i pray to god for kindness..

i pray to god for mercy..

forgive me god, for all my foolishness..

forgive me god, for all my sins..

forgive me god.. give me absolution...

Untitled 1

2010-06-06T19:13:00.002+08:00

sigh... as much as i hate to admit it.. im not as confident as i seem to be... i have insecurities.. i have doubts.. i have worries... and sometimes, it just gets too much for me to handle... so much so that i had to go to great lengths to ease it... and on most occassions.. those actions just hurt me more....

i am but only human....

i am condemned to a lifetime of pain...

i am condemned beseeched by many to ease their pain...

i am the link to my own self...

i am able to see great things....

i am able to destroy many things...

i am but lost, in this place we call home...

i am the faith that keeps me alive..

i am the doubt that clouds my mind..

6th June 2010 [ Girl's Don't Know ]

2010-06-06T10:46:00.002+08:00

여자는 몰라 [ Girls Don't Know ]

By FT Island

keunyeonun morujyo jeongmal morujyo

ee apeun sarang

na hunja sarangul hago

ddo ibyeoreul hago keunyeorul bonaeyo

jiuhgo jiweobwado

son kkut hana jiuhl su eobnun

naegen oojik hana bbunin saram

keunyeorul bonaeyo

yeojanun sarangeul molra

dodaeche sarangeul molra

keunyeonun sarang bakkeh molunun

nae mamul molra

yeojanun sarangeul molra

ee seulpeun namjaui sarangeul molra

keunyeonun ibyeol bakkeh moreunun yeojara

sarangeul molra

neon jeondae nae mamul molra

sarangeul molra

keuraeseo narul ddeona

darun sarang golra

jjiteojin nae mam banhae

keu mamkumdo molra neonun

neo bakkeh molra

nan keureon neo bakkeh molra

ibyeolun jal molra

keuraeseo sarangun

naege sangcheoro nama

onuldo niga ddeonan

pangei hunja nama

nanun neo bakkeh molra

sangcheoga hyungteoro nama

son kkut hana garil su eobnun

naegen oojik hana bbunin saram

keunyeorul bonaeyo

yeojanun sarangeul molra

dodaeche sarangeul molra

keunyeonun sarang bakkeh morunun

nae mamul molra

yeojanun sarangeul molra

ee seulpeun namjaui sarangeul molra

nan oojik keunyeomanul gidarijanha

eereon apeun sarangeul molra

eereon sulpeun sarangeul molra

keunyeonun sarang bakkeh morunun

nae mamul molra

yeojanun sarangul molra

ee seulpeun namjaui sarangeul molra

keunyeonun ibyeol bakkeh morunun yeojara

sarangeul molra

every time i hear this song.. im reminded of how sometimes girls forget that we guys have feelings as well.... we put ourselves through so much pain for someone... only to be forgotten and left alone....

most days i cant think anymore... i feel pain constantly.. like a tugging at my heart... not knowing what to do...

feels like im going through some phase but... i feel the need to talk or write... and so this is what i do.. i choose to write... my feelings...

god give me strength... to push through this... amin....

17th July 2009 (Harry Potter & Ice Age 3)

2009-07-17T10:01:00.001+08:00

last night i watched harry potter with some of the Cv family, Del, Alex, Joelyn, ganeson, nadia, kae and pierre, angel, jo and steven. we had planned to book an entire row but in the end we cud only manage to have a few seats here and there. nonetheless, del did an excellent job of booking the seats and planning them as well!! thanks del!! ^_^

the movie was alright, and since i read the book, i knew what was gonna happen, but the potrayal of it was good enough to make we excited and wanting for more. i'd give it a 2/5 ^_^later today im gonna watch Ice Age 3 with teeny at the mall. i heard the movie was hilarious so i cant wait!! ^_^

Ciao

16th July 2009 (Club Foot & Insomnia)

2009-07-16T10:43:00.002+08:00

Club Foot

Kasabian

One...take control of me?
Yer messing with the enemy
Said its 2..it's another trick
Messin with my mind, I wake up
Chase down an empty street
Blindly snap the broken beats
Said it's cut with a dirty trick
Its taken all these days to find ya
I tell you I want you
I tell you I need you

friends, take control of me
Stalking cross' the gallery
All these pills got to operate
The colour quits and all invade us
There he goes again
Take me to the edge again
All I got is a dirty trick
I'm chasin down the wolves to save ya

I tell you I want you
I'll tell you I need you
I... the blood aint on my face
Just wanted you near me

I tell you I want you
I'll tell you I need you
The blood aint on my hands

Just wanted you near me

I tell you I want you
I'll tell you I need you
The blood aint on my hands

Just wanted you near me

Insomnia

Craig David

I never thought that I'd fall in love, love, love, love
But it grew from a simple crush, crush, crush, crush
Being without you girl, I was all messed up, up, up, up
When you walked out, said that you'd had enough-nough-nough-nough

Been a fool, girl I know
Didn't expect this is how things would go
Maybe in time, you'll change your mind
Now looking back i wish i could rewind

Because i can't sleep til you're next to me
No i can't live without you no more
Oh i stay up til you're next to me
Til this house feels like it did before
Feels like insomnia ah ah, Feels like insomnia ah ah
Feels like insomnia ah ah, Feels like insomnia ah ah

Remember telling my boys that I'd never fall in love, love, love, love
You used to think I'd never find a girl I could trust, trust, trust, trust
And then you walked into my life and it was all about us, us, us, us
But now I'm sitting here thinking I messed the whole thing up, up, up, up

Been a fool (fool), girl I know (know)
Didn't expect this is how things would go
Maybe in time (time), you'll change your mind (mind)
Now looking back i wish i could rewind

Because i can't sleep til you're next to me
No i can't live without you no more (without you no more)
Oh i stay up til you're next to me (to me)
Til this house feels like it did before (Because it)
Feels like insomnia ah ah, Feels like insomnia ah ah
Feels like insomnia ah ah (Ah), Feels like insomnia ah ah

Ah, i just can't go to sleep
Cause it feels like I've fallen for you
It's getting way too deep
And i know that it's love because

I can't sleep til you're next to me
No i can't live without you no more (without you no more)
Oh i stay up til you're next to me (to me)
Til this house feels like it did before
Feels like insomnia ah ah, Feels like insomnia ah ah
Feels like insomnia ah ah, Feels like insomnia ah ah

Feels like insomnia ah ah, Feels like insomnia ah ah
Feels like insomnia ah ah, Feels like insomnia ah ah

16th July 2009 (Kokomo)

2009-07-16T09:13:00.002+08:00

heloo peeps!! here's a song that i heard in How I Met Your Mother, the episode where ted and barney took care of McLarens for one night and they exchanged looks, this song was playing!! kudos to gilbert for finding this song!!! enjoy!! ^_^

Kokomo

Beach Boys

Aruba, jamaica ooo I wanna take you
Bermuda, bahama come on pretty mama
Key largo, montego baby why dont we go
Jamaica

Off the florida keys
Theres a place called kokomo
Thats where you wanna go to get away from it all

Bodies in the sand
Tropical drink melting in your hand
Well be falling in love
To the rhythm of a steel drum band
Down in kokomo

Aruba, jamaica ooo I wanna take you
To bermuda, bahama come on pretty mama
Key largo, montego baby why dont we go

Ooo I wanna take you down to kokomo
Well get there fast
And then well take it slow
Thats where we wanna go
Way down to kokomo

To martinique, that monserrat mystique

Well put out to sea
And well perfect our chemistry
By and by well defy a little bit of gravity

Afternoon delight
Cocktails and moonlit nights
That dreamy look in your eye
Give me a tropical contact high
Way down in kokomo

Aruba, jamaica ooo I wanna take you
To bermuda, bahama come on pretty mama
Key largo, montego baby why dont we go

Ooo I wanna take you down to kokomo
Well get there fast
And then well take it slow
Thats where we wanna go
Way down to kokomo

Port au prince I wanna catch a glimpse

Everybody knows
A little place like kokomo
Now if you wanna go
And get away from it all
Go down to kokomo

Aruba, jamaica ooo I wanna take you
To bermuda, bahama come on pretty mama
Key largo, montego baby why dont we go

Ooo I wanna take you down to kokomo
Well get there fast
And then well take it slow
Thats where we wanna go
Way down to kokomo

Aruba, jamaica ooo I wanna take you
To bermuda, bahama come on pretty mama
Key largo, montego baby why dont we go

Ooo I wanna take you down to kokomo

15th July 2009 (Snooker, Total, Taboo and Sultan's Birthday)

2009-07-15T22:22:00.003+08:00

hey peeps, time for an update on whats been happening the past few days.

Last saturday i went to play some snooker at Full Can with ganeson and hassan. it has been a long time since i played snooker on account of my color blindness. so after a few games, me and ganeson decided to sit down at coffeebean for a chat and we talked about a few things. one of the main topics was relationships, the expectations i had in relationships, the problems arising from it, how to make relationships work. we also talked about some awarenesses i had during my last singapore trip as well as catching up on recent stuff.

the next day, i went to my ubd classmate's wedding with Zul AHR, janet and another of my classmate. while we were waiting in the tent, we talked about how he was at Total, what he did there, any future plans. both of us went to the companies where we had our internship and both of us didnt apply to the companies when we wanted a job, and now, both of us are not really happy with our jobs. in the end we just decided to leave the topic and talk about cars and the old times.

last night was another taboo night!!! me, delvin, janet, giun, loosy and a new addition, sharon were the players of that night. so far, we played 2 rounds, 2 very grueling rounds~~~~ the first round, my team won, where some comments made the game very memorable ^_^ Chicken duck, flat-chested and the return of the birthday suit!! ^_^ the 2nd round was a flat out tie, which was very exciting as both teams did their best, or shud i say worst, to psyche out each other by interruption and foul play~~~ heheh~~~

so as of now, i will organizing another taboo night and this time, it could be very challenging ^_^

Ciao

11th July 2009 (65th, 100 Coffees and Taboo)

2009-07-10T20:28:00.004+08:00

hello peeps!!! just gonna update this blog what has been going on ^_^

believe it or not, this is the 65th post of this blog!! i did delete some of the older blogs but it doesnt matter~~~ i never really thought i would write this much at all but here i am!! yay to me for writing this blog!!! ^_^

i had a chat the other night with my fren jern yoon, my CV1 classmate. we mostly talked about colors and their traits, attributes, characteristics, patterns, habits, etc. we talked so much that it was midnight before we decided to go home. it was fun talking and catching up at the same time. we promised to meet up and talk more often from now on ^_^

Taboo, an innocent game, unless played but me!!! this coming tuesday, we, meaning janet, delvin, loosy and eve, decided to hang out and play taboo!! it seems that the taboo championship is gonna happen!!! ^_^ however we have a slight snag. we dun have a place to play! some of us were planning to have a little drink while we were playing, since the next day is a holiday. so as of now, the venue is still undecided. delvin did mention a place and he will do his best to see if we can have it there ^_^

well i suppose thats all peeps!! have a great weekend!! ^_^

Ciao

7th July 2009 (Never & Forever)

2009-07-06T22:27:00.004+08:00

hi peeps!! another day has passed, another sunset has been witnessed ^_^

as the title states, never, a very interesting word, always used in negative statements. however, it is only negative becoz it is USED negatively. think about that for a moment. we use this word in the most negative of sentences, to portray our disgust, our disapproval, so often that we label it this word as a negative.

while i was driving home just now i realized something, something very profound and very true. we will NEVER own anything on this earth, not your car, not your family, not your life. it is all temporary, all will be left when you die, as like you leave your physical body, your loved ones, everything. when you like or want something or someone, your ego begins to tell you that you NEED to OWN it. this is the point where you start to justify reason, in your mind, why you should own this person or this object. ownership is just an illusion, no matter how much you want to believe that its real. it is just one of those things that will keep getting you depressed and disappointed. time to let go ^_^

all that you say, all that you do, will be forever. these words are as truthful as the sunrise and sunset. words are very powerful. war, destruction, malice, prejudice, hatred, anger, words can cause all these things. an example? hitler and WWII. he spoke his words and many people lost their lives. our actions are similarly powerful. have you not realized that what you have learned is bcoz someone taught it to you? their "action" has caused you to learn something. this can be said for all actions, some might a kin it to newton's law but there is a difference. for every negative action that you do, it multiplies and travels, sometimes coming back to you. thats what some people call karma, or the saying "what goes around, comes around".

a simple act of kindness, a kind word, can make a big difference in the world. words can heal the soul, actions can bring about peace. i am not saying that you merely stop saying harsh words, as some of those words have truth in it. remember that truth can be found anywhere, in a word, in an action. keep an eye out for it. as some would say, "do unto others as you would unto yourself". actions and words are just energy, and as energy it passes on. make the choice, pass on positive energy ^_^

well i guess thats all peeps

Ciao

5th July 2009 (Sky, Breakable, Overload II, Prototype, Bowling)

2009-07-05T20:47:00.007+08:00

Sky

Joshua Radin feat. Ingrid Michaelson

I woke

Dreaming we had broke

Dreaming you left me

For someone new

And you cried

Drying those brown eyes

Crying you're sorry

Sorry won't do, but...

This is the way I need to wake

I wake to you

And you never left me

All that I'd dreamt had been untrue

Open my eyes

I see sky

Oh, oh, oh woah, you know

The way to keep me on my toes

I, I, I will be fine

Just say you'll stay forever mine

Till we fall asleep tonight

Last night

We had a great fight

I fell asleep in a horrible state

Then dreamt

That you loved my best friend

My heart would not mend

Seemed it was fake, but

This is the way I need to wake

I wake to you

And you never left me

All that I'd dreamt had been untrue

Open my eyes

I see sky

Oh, oh, oh woah, you know

The way to keep me on my toes

I, I, I will be fine

Just say you'll stay forever mine

'Til we fall asleep tonight

Sometimes I forget to

Love you like I should

But I'd never leave you

No, I never would

I never would

Oh, oh, oh woah, you know

The way to keep me on my toes

I, I, I will be fine

Just say you'll stay forever mine

Oh, oh, oh woah, you know

The way to keep me on my toes

I, I, I will be fine

Just say you'll stay forever mine

'Til we fall asleep tonight

Breakable

Ingrid Michaelson

Have you ever thought about what protects our hearts?

Just a cage of rib bones and other various parts.

So it's fairly simple to cut right through the mess,

And to stop the muscle that makes us confess.

And we are so fragile,

And our cracking bones make noise,

And we are just,

Breakable, breakable, breakable girls and boys.

You fasten my seatbelt because it is the law.

In your two ton death trap I finally saw.

A piece of love in your face that bathed me in regret.

Then you drove me to places I'll never forget.

And we are so fragile,

And our cracking bones make noise,

And we are just,

Breakable, breakable, breakable girls and boys.

And we are so fragile,

And our cracking bones make noise,

And we are just,

Breakable, breakable, breakable girls-

Breakable, breakable, breakable girls and boys.

I've been listening to Ingrid Michaelson for the past 2 weeks and i find that the songs are very nice! ^_^ i find the music very soothing, and listening to it while just sitting down and watching everything going around u~~~~ ^_^

I bought several new games over the past few weeks but 2 of them have ben deemed worthy fo mentioning~~ Overlord II, the game where you control minions, is fun and entertaining, with the interesting puzzle like challenges, and funny comments by the NPCs ^_^ i especially enjoy the funny comments ;)

Prototype, is a third person action game, where you are Alex Mercer, a man who doesnt remember his past, but has the ability to shape-shift and consume others. the game is mission based, much like burnout, in a sense that there is a free roam option. this is probably one of my favorite options, i can wreck havoc at anytime ;)

last friday i went bowling with azi and ajib, since azi suggested it, since we haven't met each other and sat down to talk in a long time. it was fun catching up, talking abt stuff happening now, as well as stuff in the future ^_^ even after so many years, they havent changed much, i still feel that they are the same as they were back in uni.

well i suppose thats all peeps! ^_^

Ciao

2nd July 2009 (Obsessive Stalkers, Old Friends, Marriage and Kids)

2009-07-02T22:44:00.003+08:00

okay peeps, quick update before i go to bed!!

met up with delvin and janet, since delvin called and wanted to ahng out before his long drive to kb for work. we sat down and started talking, and the topic, which janet brought up, was regarding obsessive guys who stalk as well... i cant divulge any details but lets just say that there are a few hard choices for janet to make in the near future...

after that i bumped into a guy who used to be in the same red crescent unit as i was back when iw as in form 2-3. we talked a bit, mostly he was asking me questions abt my dad, what i was doing, my brothers as well.. i talked a bit abt how my dad is retired, my 2 brothers are still in ubd, and im working for a private company in the MOF building. the thing that struck me was that what he said to me, "thats great! im glad to see you moved up in the world!".... it made me realize that i do have a blessed life and most people would like to have a life that i have ^_^

next old friend i bumped into was zulhilmi, who is a fireman! apparently he was thinking abt me and i somehow turned up!! he was asking abt the other house my dad was fixing up and how much is it for rent bcoz his friend is looking for a house. after a while, we concluded that the house is way out of his fren's price range. we then got talking and i found out that he has 2 kids!!! 2 KIDS!!! and some of my other old classmates are married with kids now too!!! and yes peeps, u guessed what came next, the question, "When are u gonna get married??" haha i replied with, "haha dun ask that question~~" the thing is, when u think u are ready, u are only half ready, the next step is doing it ^_^ so yes, i am ready, next step is getting a lady ;)

now i am at home... and sleepy... but need to take a shower first... then off to bed.... ^_^

Ciao

2nd July 2009 (Winter Song, All Love)

2009-07-02T09:35:00.002+08:00

Winter Song

Ingrid Michaelson

Bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum
Bum bum bum bum bum bum
Bum bum bum bum bum bum
This is my winter song to you
The storm is coming soon
It rolls in from the sea
My voice, a beacon in the night
My words will be your light
To carry you to me
Is love alive?
Is love alive?
Is love...
They say that things just cannot grow
Beneath the winter snow
Or so I have been told
They say we're buried far
Just like a distant star
I simply cannot hold
Is love alive?
Is love alive?
Is love alive?
This is my winter song
December never felt so wrong
'Cause you're not where you belong
Inside my arms
Bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum
Bum bum bum bum bum bum
Bum bum bum bum bum bum
I still believe in summer days
The seasons always change
And life will find a way
I'll be your harvester of light
And send it out tonight
So we can start again
Is love alive?
Is love alive?
Is love alive?
This is my winter song
December never felt so wrong
'Cause you're not where you belong
Inside my arms
This is my winter song to you
The storm is coming soon
It rolls in from the sea
My love, a beacon in the night
My words will be your light
To carry you to me
(16x)
Is love alive?

All Love

Ingrid Michaelson

When I push the sheets away from your face
And watch you sleep all day here
And when I push you away
And say you simply cannot stay here

And it's all love, all love
It's all love, my stupid love

When I say you take away
The most important parts of me with you
When I've had the greatest day
You add more gray, it's just your way
It's true

But it's all love, all love, ohh
It's all love, all love, ohh
It's all love, all love, ohh
It's all love, my stupid love

You can't be the one to kill the pain anymore
You let me in but then you slam my fingers in the door
I've had enough but I keep asking you to give me more

What I say
That is no way

It's all love, all love, ohh
It's all love, all love, ohh
It's all love, all love, ohh
It's all love, my stupid love

It's all love, all love
(It's all love, it's all love)
It's all love, all love
(It's all love, it's all love)
It's all love, all love
(It's all love, it's all love)
It's all love my stupid love

30th June 2009 (Weddings, 4107, The Way I Am)

2009-06-27T10:18:00.008+08:00

hello peeps!! this weekend is very eventful!! ^_^

it started off with a wedding reception at rizqun for my cousin Aman. it was beautiful especially when they played the video he made. i shed tears of joy as i watched it ^_^ i would like to make a video for that event, when the time comes ;)

next was the empire stay, now dubbed the famous 4107, where legends were made, rules were broken, drinks were downed, and snoring was recognized~~ LOL! the participants were Janet, Delvin, Loosy, Eve and Tong. we played taboo, which tong found very interesting, circle of death, we ended it with talking and sleeping~~ as it stand, the bandarians are leading in the taboo score!! ^_^ a weekly challenge will be in the works to determine who is better, bandar vs KB, an epic battle!! ;p

now, the song that has caught my attention is The Way I Am by Ingrid Michaelson. i found this at one of my friend's blogs, she was showing the video, i was bored, so i clicked, and i loved it!!! (shoutz to mizah, here's her blog: http://mizahheartpink.blogspot.com/ ) here are the lyrics!! ^_^

The Way I Am

Ingrid Michaelson

If you were falling, then I would catch you

You need a light, I'd find a match

Cuz I love the way you say good morning

And you take me the way I am

If you are chilly, here take my sweater

Your head is aching; I'll make it better

Cuz I love the way you call me baby

And you take me the way I am

I'd buy you Rogaine when you start losing all your hair

Sew on patches to all you tear

Cuz I love you more than I could ever promise

And you take me the way I am

You take me the way I am

I guess thats all for now peeps!!!

Ciao

26th June 2009 (Friends, Michael Jackson dies, The Mentalist)

2009-06-26T08:55:00.004+08:00

hey peeps!!! another day, another post!! ^_^

quick update, last night i went to kuala lurah with D and J and we had a good time ^_^ we ate and ate and ate~~~~~ the food was just too good~~~~ and we met another friend while we were there, Jen. we had quite a conversation, covering all sorts of things, friendship, communication, etc. i mentioned to them that we are missing one more member in our outing hehehe... i think its time to open up my contact list and shop for a 4th ;) we stocked up on some stuff, so we're ready for 2moro!!!!! ^_^

on another note, while i was out, michael jackson up and died!! sad as it is, he had a good run.

a few days ago i bought the complete first season of the mentalist!! its so cool, and i can continue from where i left off!! ^_^ for those who do not know, it is a story of a man with an ability to read into anyone or any situation, and he is on the hunt for a killer called "Red John", whislt helping the CBI with their crime investigations. its funny, witty, classy and more!! i recommend it!! ^_^

okay peeps, time for me to go!! later today i have a wedding to go to. my cousin, aman, is getting married!! ^_^ congratulations to him!!!

Ciao

25th June 2009 ( Transformers 2)

2009-06-25T10:28:00.005+08:00

hello peeps!! ^_^

last night i went to watch the new transformers movie and it.... was.... awesome!!!! ^_^ i went with teeny, whom i havent seen in a while, and very young, cute and lovable niece, hana. now i didnt actually plan on watching the movie last night. it was a last minute sort of decision. it all started yesterday afternoon i think, when i msged her on msn asking her abt her nick (yes, now i know not to do direct translation of words :p). while we got talking, she asked me if i had watched the new transformers movie (which is awesome ^_^). then i replied that i was planning to go but i just didnt have anyone to go with, and she just volunteered to watch it with me (at my expense ;p) right abt this time, her nephews and nieces heard that she was going to watch a movie, so they wanted to come as well!! hana was the first to ask, and since the mother said okay, im okay with that too ^_^

mental note, never ever depend on the phone lines when booking a new movie!! i called empire, qlap and the mall, and most of the time the phone lines were either busy or no one picked up. in the end, i got a booking for a 9pm show at the mall, 3rd row from the front, which is not really good bcoz its too close to the screen AND its quite late. so... i told teeny that we shud drop by qlap and see if they ahve any good seats left... and they did!!! ^_^ teeny said something really funny when we got out fo the car, which i am going to translate to english (hehe), "from the looks of it, people might think that hana is our daughter!" then i told her that it wont be the first time that wud have happened to me (hahaha!)

after 2 and 1/2 hours of awesomeness, i sent teeny and the niece home. on the way back, teeny asked hana to call her mom, and then we went to a kaling shop to get hana a toothbrush. now i know where her new house it ^_^

anyway, be sure to catch the movie peeps, its worth watching ^_^

ciao

23rd June 2009 (Bicycle, Sunrise and the best day of your life)

2009-06-23T08:33:00.004+08:00

Morning peeps!!! this might be my earliest post yet!!

yesterday, a few things happened!

while i was waiting for my fren, D, at RC, i decided to talk to yan abt my coming over to work for him. next thing u know, i was on the road, on the way to BLNG!! well he did say, it was only for a short while..... yeah right! it was more like hours.. by the time i got back to RC batu besurat, it was already 9:30pm!!! i was more worried that D was waiting for a long time since i promised earlier than that.... but bless his soul, he was there waiting and i dunno how many times i said sorry to him... sorry again bro :(

anyway, we got talking about a few things, and afterwards i know what i shud do ^_^ i dun say this enuf to him... thank you!! ^_^ you cant buy friendship like this, and for that i am grateful.

on another side note, while we were sitting down, there was a guy riding a bicycle... normally people would not notice him... but this bicycle had a package... in the form of a young child!! this baby was in the backseat, that looks like a make shift baby-holder... the thing was, both the dad (well im assuming its the dad) and the baby looked very happy together... and it was very cute.... although D did point out that its quite dangerous which is valid.. but i cant help but see the happiness of them spending time with each other... and past father's day, its a sweet memory for that dad and maybe for the baby as well ^_^

all that has happened last night amde me realize that somethings are just out of your control... you can mope around abt it, be sad, be depressed, be alone... or you can show up to others, share your worries with someone, make today the best day of our lives ^_^

well thats all peeps!!! back to work!! ^_^

Ciao

21th June 2009 (Sephia,Lie, Matters of the heart and the mind)

2009-06-20T15:35:00.009+08:00

Sephia

Sheila on 7

Hey,Sephia

Malam ini ku takkan datang

Mencoba 'tuk berpaling sayang

Dari cintamu

Hey,Sephia

Malam ini ku takkan pulang

Tak usah kau mencari aku,demi cintamu

Hadapilah ini

Kisah kita takkan abadi

S'lamat tidur kekasih gelap ku[ooo.....Sephia]

S'moga cepat kau lupakan aku

Kekasih sejatimu takkan pernah sanggup untuk melupakanmu

S'lamat tidur kasih tak terungkap [ooo.....Sephia]

S'moga kau lupakan aku cepat

Kekasih sejatimu takkan pernah sanggup untuk meninggalkanmu

Hey,Sephia

Jangan pernah panggil namaku

Bila kita bertemu lagi

Dilain hariHadapilah ini

Kisah kita takkan abadi

S'lamat tidur kekasih gelap ku[ooo.....Sephia]

S'moga cepat kau lupakan aku

Kekasih sejatimu takkan pernah sanggup untuk melupakanmu

S'lamat tidur kasih tak terungkap [ooo.....Sephia]

S'moga kau lupakan aku cepat

Kekasih sejatimu takkan pernah sanggup untuk meninggalkanmu

Lie

Big Bang

Yuh-ba-sae-yo...

Yuh-ba-sae-yo?

(yeah) love is pain

Dedicated to all my broken-hearted people

One's old a flame... just scream my name

And i'm so sick of love songs (yeah)

I hate them damn love songs... moment of ours

(geo-jis-mar)

Neuj-eun bam bi-ga nae-ryeo-wa neor de-ryeo-wa

Jeoj-eun gi-eog kkeut-e dwi-cheog-yeo na

Neo eobs-i jar sar su iss-da-go

Da-jim hae-bwa-do eo-jjeor su eobs-da-go

Mos-ha-neun sur-do ma-si-go

Sog-ta-neun mam bam-sae chae-wo-bwa-dosirh-eo neo eobs-neun ha-ru-neun gir-eo bir-eo

Je-bar ij-ge hae-dar-ra-go (-geo-jis-mar-i-ya)

Neo eobs-neun nae-gen us-eum-i bo-i-ji anh-a

Nun-mur-jo-cha go-i-ji anh-a

Deo-neun sar-go sip-ji anh-a

Yeah

Yeos-gat-ae

Yeor-bad-ge

Ni saeng-gag-e

Dor-a-beo-rir-geos gat-ae

Bo-go sip-eun-de

Bor su-ga eobs-de

Mo-du kkeut-nass-de

I'll be right here

I'm so sorry but i love you da geo-jis-mar

I-ya mor-rass-eo i-je-ya ar-ass-eo ne-ga pir-yo-hae

I'm so sorry but i love you nar-ka-ro-un mar

Hwas-gim-e na-do mo-reu-ge neor tteo-na-bo-naess-ji-man

I'm so sorry but i love you da geo-jis-mar

I'm so sorry but i love you

(i love you more and more)

I'm so sorry but i love you na-reur tteo-na

Cheon-cheon-hi ij-eo-jur-rae

Nae-ga a-pa-har su iss-ge

Geu-daer wi-hae-seo bur-reo-wass-deon nae mo-deun geor da ba-chin no-rae

(a-ma sa-ram-deur-eun mo-reu-gess-jyo)

Nan hon-ja,, geu a-mu-do a-mu-do mor-rae

(geu-rae nae-ga haess-deon mar-eun geo-jis-mar)

Hor-ro nam-gyeo-jin oe-tor-i

Geu sog-e he-me-neun nae kkor-i

Ju-meo-ni sog-e kko-gis-kko-gis

Jeob-eo-dun i-byeor-eur hyang-han jjog-ji (hey)

(neon eo-dis-na-yo neor bu-reu-neun seub-gwan-do)

Nan dar-ra-jir-rae

I-jen da us-eo-neom-gir-ge

I'm so sorry but i love you da geo-jis-mar

I-ya mor-rass-eo i-je-ya ar-ass-eo ne-ga pir-yo-hae

I'm so sorry but i love you nar-ka-ro-un mar

Hwas-gim-e na-do mo-reu-ge neor tteo-na-bo-naess-ji-man

I'm so sorry but i love you da geo-jis-mar

I'm so sorry but i love you

(i love you more and more)

I'm so sorry but i love you na-reur tteo-na

Cheon-cheon-hi ij-eo-jur-rae

Nae-ga a-pa-har su iss-ge

Oh oh oh oh oh

Mo-deun-ge kkum-i-gir

Oh oh oh

I-geos-bakk-e an-doe-neun na-ra-seo

Drop that thing...

A-jig-do neo-reur mos ij-eo

A-ni pyeong-saeng-eur ga-do (yeah)

Jug-eo-seo-kka-ji-do

Nae-ga jun sang-cheo a-mur-eoss-neun-ji

Mi-an-hae a-mu-geos-do

Hae-jun-ge eobs-neun na-ra-seo

I'm so sorry but i love you da geo-jis-mar

I-ya mor-rass-eo i-je-ya ar-ass-eo ne-ga pir-yo-hae

I'm so sorry but i love you nar-ka-ro-un mar

Hwas-gim-e na-do mo-reu-ge neor tteo-na-bo-naess-ji-man

I'm so sorry but i love you da geo-jis-mar (but i love you)

I'm so sorry (so sorry) but i love you

(i love you more and more)

I'm so sorry but i love you na-reur tteo-na

Cheon-cheon-hi ij-eo-jur-rae

Nae-ga a-pa-har su iss-ge

Bye bye...

denial, rejection, i have lived most of my life denying my heart, and my mind rejecting my feelings.... for someone who has insight on other, its not easy for me to have insight to myself... im sick of just waiting, im sick of just wondering....

for the last few month, my mind has been rejecting a thought in my head.. and i only realized it for the past few days... and it hurts... it feels like you chest is heavy, like carrying a dead weight... its strange how some things still catch by surprise... i never expected to have this feeling.... it was far from my mind... but apparently... my heart was saying it all along...

am i afraid? yes i am... will it stop me from doing what i feel is right? thats only for me to decide... my mind keeps on playing all sorts of outcomes for it... some were good, some were bad.... but i then realized that its still all in my mind.... the truth is... i do not know what is gonna be the outcome... thats what scares me... but... if i dun own up and take the leap... i will regret this forever... and my mind will still ask the question, "what would have happened?".... i dun want that... i dun want to regret... i will do it....

Ciao

15th June 2009 (The Platinum Rule, The Other 'You', Don't Trust Me)

2009-06-15T14:33:00.006+08:00

hi peeps!!! its been a while since i've properly sat down and written something ^_^

okay, the first thing i want to mention, the platinum rule from how i met your mother!!!

it rules about dating someone who you see on a regular basis, like workmates, neighbors, etc.

i'll be doing illustrations from my own experience!! this should be fun ^_^

Step 1: Attraction - The ignition of desire

Attraction, it could take place anytime, anywhere, even a second... and once it happens, it cannot be stopped~~~~~ like the time i laid my eyes on a certain girl and went off with her one night(and she shall not be named ;p)........... and thats when!
Step 2: Bargaining - Weighing the possibilities with close friends

We make up all sorts excuses to quantify the reasoning behind going for someone.... we go to the same school, we like the same things, he'she thinks i'm funny..... and even when friends tell us that its not gonna work out... we will always say "nah, i think it'll be okay"... oh but it didnt turn out okay.... just like when i argued with my friend about going off with the girl that night....... and then!!!
Step 3: Submission - Jumping in

The point where you literally jump in.... just like me and the girl..... haha, that was a night to remember.... and thats when!!
Step 4: Perks - Relishing in the "benefits" of the relationship

The benefits you gain from dating them... standing lunch dates, a partner to hang out with, go to movies with.... in my case it was the money that she earned, bcoz back then i was still a student and broke ;p...... the perks will be great for a while but then!!!
Step 5: The Tipping Point - Where it starts to go downhill

As it states, things start to go wrong... they start to become clingy.... they start to annoy you... they start to do stuff you don't like...... like the time the girl started to control me... she was jealous... and then!!
Step 6: Purgatory - The culmination of annoyances

They just keep on piling up..... she just kept on and on.... until!
Step 7: Confrontation - Ending the relationship

This is the time to end it! i finally had enough of her and said to her that its over.... and then!!
Step 8: Fallout - The unavoidable backlash

Things might go a bit weird for a while... especially if they are your workmates.... if they are just friends, they might not treat you the same for a while... and it is gonna stay weird.... whenever i saw her it would just be like oil and water.... but...
Step 9: Coexistence - Letting go and moving on

After a while.... it would be okay..... you will start to accept things between each other... and life moves on ^_^

The last episode for house in season 5, a patient who has someone else "living" in him, as his right brain is separated from his left. so part of his body is not under his control!! now imagine for a second... we have this other 'you' living inside you... scary isnt it? but at the same time, it is interesting to find out what this other 'you' is thinking about!

here's a song that i've been hearing and seeing on tv and finally downloaded it!!

Don't Trust Me

3 OH! 3

Black dress, with the tights underneath

I got the breath of the last cigarette on my teeth

And she’s and actress (actress),

But she aint got no need

She’s got money from her parents and a trust fund back east

T-t-t-tongues, always pressed to your cheeks

While my tongue is on the inside of some other girls teeth

T-tell your boyfriend (boyfriend) if he said he’s got beef

That I’m a vegetarian, and I aint fuckin scared of him!

She wants to touch me woah

She wants to love me woah

She’ll never leave me woah, woah oh oh

Don’t trust a hoe

Never trust a hoe

Won’t trust a hoe, won’t trust me

She wants to touch me, woah

She wants to love me woah

She’ll never leave me woah, woah oh oh

Don’t trust a hoe

Never trust a hoe

Won’t trust a hoe, won’t trust me!

Ex's, on the back of your hands

Wash them in the bathroom, to drink like the bands

And the set list, (set list)

You stole off the stage

Has red and purple lipstick all over the page

B-b-b-bruises cover your arms

Shaking in the fingers with the bottle in your palm

And the best is (best is)

No one knows who you are

Just another girl

Alone at the bar

She wants to touch me woah

She wants to love me woah

She’ll never leave me woah, woah oh oh

Don’t trust a hoe

Never trust a hoe

Won’t trust a hoe, won’t trust me

She wants to touch me woah

She wants to love me woah

She’ll never leave me woah, woah oh oh

Don’t trust a hoe

Never trust a hoe

Won’t trust a hoe, won’t trust me!

Shush girl

Shut your lips

Do the Helen Keller and talk with your hips

I said shush girl

Shut your lips

Do the Helen Keller and talk with your hips

I said shush girl

Shut your lips

Do the Helen Keller and talk with your hips!

(Woah, woah, woah-oh-oh)

She wants to touch me woah

She wants to love me woah

She’ll never leave me woah, woah oh oh

Don’t trust a hoe

Never trust a hoe

Won’t trust a hoe, won’t trust me

She wants to touch me woah

She wants to love me woah

She’ll never leave me woah, woah oh oh

Don’t trust a hoe

Never trust a hoe

Won’t trust a hoe, won’t trust me

Well peeps, thats it for now!!! Ciao!! ^_^

12th June 2009 (Love is joy and pain together)

2009-06-12T09:11:00.002+08:00

Joy, a sudden burst of energy, a feeling of elation, a feeling of empowerment, a feeling of hope. a feeling where you feel that it is truly the best day of your life, the feeling that makes you want to soar, or eat a very large meal, the feeling that you ahve when you are together with your most precious friends, the feeling you have when you are with your loved one, the feeling that makes you wake up in the morning just to see the sky. a moment in time where you feel that you are in perfect bliss, the feeling that you ahve when you are at peace, the feeling that you have when you are at one with yourself.

Pain, a sudden stab in your heart, the heaviness of your head and chest after a fight, the pent up emotions and feelings that you bottle up, the feeling that the wind has been taken out of you, the feeling after a slap in the face, the feeling of betrayal, the feeling of your heart being ripped to shred, the feeling of torment from the sight of something you could not believe. the feeling that you get when your assumptions are crushed, the feeling when your expectations are thrown out the window, the feeling that you get when the person you love is no longer by your side, the feeling of suffocation, the feeling you get when all hope is lost, the feeling you get when you let go of something or someone, your head spinning because you could not understand something.

Love........ need i say more? look into yourself and see, because that is where you are, you are here, in this moment, no where else.

ciao

11th June 2009 (Your Call)

2009-06-11T10:34:00.002+08:00

Your Call by Secondhand Serenade

Waiting for your

call, I'm sick

call, I'm angry

call, I'm desperate for your voice.

I'm listening to the song we used to sing

in the car.

you remember, butterfly, early summer?

It's playing on repeat...Just like when we would meet.

'Cause I was born to tell you I love you,

and I am torn to do what I have to,

to make you mine, Stay with me tonight.

Stripped and pollished, I am new, I am fresh.

I am feeling so ambitious; you and me, flesh to flesh.

Because every breath that you will take when you are sitting next to me

will bring life into my deepest hopes.

What's your fantasy?

What's your, what's your, what's your, what's your...

'Cause I was born to tell you I love you,

and I am torn to do what I have to,

'Cause I was born to tell you I love you,

and I am torn to do what I have to,

to make you mine.Stay with me tonight

And I'm tired of being all alone,

and this solitary moment

makes me want to come back home.

( I know everything you wanted isn't anything you have.)

'Cause I was born to tell you I love you,
and I am torn to do what I have to,
'Cause I was born to tell you I love you,
and I am torn to do what I have to,
to make you mine.Stay with me tonight

12th March 2009 (Kinda Girl For Me, This Is The Girl)

2009-03-12T20:27:00.004+08:00

heloo peeps!!! its been a while since ive written anything. iv been doing a lot of journalling lately, and that took me away from the keyboard for a while :P iv been thinking a lot about life and relationships as well. iv been thru quite a few relationships, some good some bad, some iv even taken for granted for. at this point in time, i will send out my intention to the universe..... i will find someone that will share this life with me... walk this journey with me.... i believe in myself... believe in others.... i believe that everything happening for a reason....

and so i have two songs that have caught my attention. the first is Kinda Girl For Me and the second is This Is The Girl, both sung by Craig David. as usual, here are the lyrics!!!

Kinda Girl For Me

By Craig David

[Intro]

You are everything

All of this time

That you been waiting

Seems like now you got what you want (ohh)

You got me stuck on the realness (realness, realness)

Give all your love all your realness

[Verse 1]

She's that kinda girl

Pretty 'bout 5"6', small hips, with them cinnamon curls

Yes a straight bravado girl

Money for new whips, makin' trips all around the world

Yes she's the kinda girl, always thinkin' on her feet

The type of girl that one day you'd like to meet

Guess I found her, wanna be around her

Really ain't that hard for me to see (yeah)

[Chorus]

The truth is see I got it bad

But there ain't nothing wrong with that

Found a girl that makes me wanna go

Places I ain't never been before

She's so sick like a dope melody sittin' nicely on top of the beat

'Cos she's a rider not a fighter, kinda girl for me (yeah)

All of this time, that you been waiting

Seems like now you got what you want

You got me stuck on the realness (the realness, realness) (ohh)

You got me stuck on the realness

[Verse 2]

I can't really believe, it's like I caught a fever, this feelin' takin' over me

Maybe it's L O V E, but for sure yes you're a keeper, savin' all your, for me

She got that ability turn a spark into a flame

Like a beautiful picture in a frame

She's on fire, just got to admire, the way she be puttin' it down on me (yeah)

[Chorus]

The truth is see I got it bad

But there ain't nothing wrong with that

Found a girl that makes me wanna go

Places I ain't never been before

She's so sick like a dope melody sittin' nicely on top of the beat

'Cos she's a rider not a fighter, kinda girl for me (yeah)

[Bridge]

Past relationships I'd lose

I guess I never tried to see things through

That's how many other girls always on my mind

Stop actin' a fool, and I've got so much to prove

'Cos now I found the right girl for me

[Chorus]

The truth is see I got it bad (I got it bad baby)

But there ain't nothing wrong with that (ohh)

Found a girl that makes me wanna go (wanna go)

Places I ain't never been before (never been before no)

She's so sick like a dope melody sittin' nicely on top of the beat (oh yeah)

'Cos she's a rider not a fighter, kinda girl for me (ooh baby) whoaaa whoa yeah, oh baby

The truth is see I got it bad (I got it bad baby)

But there ain't nothing wrong with that (yeah)

Found a girl that make me wanna go(wanna go)

Places I ain't never been before (never been before no)

She's so sick like a dope melody sittin' nicely on top of the beat (oh yeah)

'Cos she's a rider not a fighter, kinda girl for me (yeah) (oh no)

[Outro]

All of this time, that you been waiting

Seems like now you got what you want

You got me stuck on the realness (realness, realness)

You got me stuck on the realness

Give all your love all your realness

This The Girl

Craig David

I’m comfortable, it been way more than a month or two

It’s deeper than that I roll with you

So no other chick can’t come close to you

And deep down I know the truth notice you don’t like if I come with you

But chicks wanna hug me in front of you

But I don’t mean to be rude

I won’t find me another one quite like you

I know that we become so close

And I know I’m mostly on tour with girls backstage after the encore

But I’m down for you, look out for you

Try my best to be around for you

And if your still down then I want you to know

That you’re the one I want when I’m gone

Chorus

This is the girl that I want

This is the girl that’s gone make me fall in love

Girl I would ride with you

Give up my life for you

Baby cos girl I changed

And this is the girl that I want

Uh oh oh

Look I’ve been In a club many a time

Been a play a two girls at a time

Been a very bad boy like shine too blind to see what you were doing

I was involved in close, hiding with a silent ring tone

Like Jude Law in Closer

Relationship roller coaster

My life, my real life co-star

With no dialogged we couldn’t go far

But I’ll try and stop coz so far

But That Won’t Last

I move so fast

Spin round the track like Go-Karts

Over and over and over

To a slow … I’m so lost

Cos what I couldn’t be, you wanted me to be

When I couldn’t breathe I wanted you to leave

What you couldn’t see

Was me in the club with she

Looking like my wife to be

But finally

I’ve grown up since then

And your eyes opened up since then

And I’ve changed so let’s keep it moving

Chorus

This is the girl that I want

This is the girl that’s gone make me fall in love

Girl I would ride with you

Give up my life for you

Baby cos girl I changed

And this is the girl that I want

This is the girl that I want

Forget bout all them other girls before

Wanna get involved with you

And the other girls ain’t the same

That play the game

This is the girl that I want

Uh oh oh

On the canopy

My stamina be enough for Angelina Jolie

Actually I had to become a man to be the man you see

And I know your fantasy

A baby and a family with me

I know how it sounds but believe me

And if I don’t know how to be Teach me

i was contemplating about my feelings for someone for a while... at that moment, we were connected, in separable.... we would cuddle up.... our skins touching... our energies flowing thru each other..... i cant deny those feelings... i am drawn to her.... she allows me to be myself as i allow her to be herself.... we accept each other as who we are.... we allow each other to be the best we can be... and thats what matters.... ^_^ i hope to see her soon bcoz i miss her dearly

well peeps, i suppose thats it for now!!

adios!!!

16th December 2008 (2008 Reflections)

2008-12-16T11:29:00.002+08:00

hello peeps!!! i decided to write up reflections to wrap up my 2008. i already put it up in my facebook so im just putting it here to complete the circle hehehe. here it is!!!

2008 - Reflections

Right now, i'm having the time of my life!! Good and bad things have happened, but that's what makes life a blast!!! 2008, you made me laugh, you made me cry, you made me happy, you made me sad. Looking back at this year and previous years, it makes me wonder, where has the time gone to? time really is a continuos force, never stopping for anyone. if asked would i change the past? i wouldnt :) i am glad that the choices i made in the past has placed me where i am right now. The friends i have gained and lost, the people i have met and not met, the things i have done and not done, if it wasnt for these, i would be somewhere else in life.

the funny thing about life is, you are given choices everyday, whether you realize it or not. the choice of what clothes to wear, what words you can speak, what you will write. i admit that some of the choices i have made are not the best of choices, and i do regret making those choices. however, the past is the past, accept it, learn from it. life is too wonderful to be hung up ur past mistakes. besides, mistakes are what makes us human. we learn a lot more from mistakes than we realize. it is hard to accept but time will heal it, with help from our friends :) i am blessed to have such wonderful friends in my life, from all shades and places of this planet we call earth, it is amazing to see how much we have in common.

2008 has imparted many lesson with me, some were enlightening, others were sad realizations. Believe that every choice you make counts, the intentions set, the expectations removed, the energy that was present when the decision was made, it will affect you in the future. Be aware of yourself and others, the energy they emit, the energy you emit, your actions, the actions of others. Be aware of the thoughts we have, why we are having these thoughts and what caused them. The first step to understanding others is by understanding yourself, the deeper you go into yourself, the more insightful you become. Love is in essence unconditional, although we humans have different perceptions regarding love, truth of the matter is, love is not monetary, it is not in the form of material possessions. True love is the act of choosing to give and receive love, without expecting enything in return, without judging who should receive love, without considering their physical outlook. Along this journey called life, we have lost parts of ourselves, taken away by others, You are only as confident, happy and as loving as you think you are. If you feel you are not happy or unsure that you are happy, chances are you aren't. Think positively about yourself, have confidence, and you will achieve many things you never dreamed possible. Something may not be as clear the first time around, as it only involves the physical aspect of yourself. Look at it a second time, you will see something else, a different perspective.

As i've mentioned earlier, the past is what got us into the position we are now but it does not dictate who we are. What kind of person we were in the past is not the kind of person we are now. Our past does not define who we are. I've come to realize my attitude, actions, phrasing and my energy in the past, and i didn't like what i saw. At first i denied it, "i'm not that kind of person!" or "i'm this kind of person!". After all that self-denial blew over, i came to see, i WAS that person. However, i now have a choice. I can choose to be that person again, or be someone who isn't like that, someone who is nicer, kind, caring, aware, loving. It took time, courage and postive energy from friends to make it work for me and for that i am grateful to them :D

Today is a gift, that is why it is called the present. These words didn't hold much meaning for me in the past, but now i realize how true these words are. "Where are we? Right here. Who am i? This moment.". Very few people know the significance of the present. We only have this moment, the present, to choose, to take action. We cannot change the past, the future is still unknown. Being in the moment, the present, is being aware, the energy you emit, the energy around you, your thoughts. The only thing we truly OWN this world is the energy we emit, the actions we do, the words we say. We do not own our car, our spouses, our children, our bodies. It is on loan to us, as we are the caretakers. The choice to nuture or destroy is in our hands. Our actions, energy, words will live on in other people, for many years to come. Make a choice. Do we pass on our negative thoughts, actions, energy or do we pass on our positive thoughts, actions, energy? A small act of kindness, with the right intention and energy, can have an impact in the world in ways you could never imagine.

Belief, hope, faith, rediscover the meaning of these words in your own self. Being present does not mean to disregard the future. When you make decisions now, have the belief, the faith and the hope that the decision you make now, will guide you to a better future.

Choices, decisions, we make them everyday, without thinking how it would affect us, how it would affect other people and how it would affect our life. Ask yourself before making a decision, "what am i doing this for?". Are you making the decision to hurt someone? to make them happy?. then ponder this, "why am i doing this?". Did they hurt you? do you want to return a favour?. Be aware of the energy that is in you when making the decision because this energy will be passed. Positive energy will bring about more positive energy and likewise for negative.

Life is a wonderful journey, and as 2008 looms to a close, i would like to bid it farewell. I have learned, met, experienced, seen, many wonderful things, people, places. New opportunities and challenges await all of us in 2009, full of wonderous mysteries, about ourselves, about other people, and about our destiny.

With Love, Ash :)

7th December 2008 (Ikenai Taiyou, Tuo Diao and She Could Be You)

2008-11-18T09:53:00.014+08:00

hello peeps!!!!! Today is the best day of our lives!!!! this sentence has been waking me up for the past few weeks now and its a welcome greeting from ppl!!!! :D

first off i'm gonna list down songs that i have been listening to. and here are the lyrics!!!

Ikenai Taiyou

Orange Range

Ikenai taiyou Na Na

Chotto de ii kara misete kurenai ka

Omae no sekushii feromon de ore mero mero

Ah furechaisou demo ikenai no!

Jojo ni kou naru kodou tomerarenai wa

Kawasu kotoba no kioku tooku kuchimoto no ugoki ni yureugoku

Nureta kami wo nadeta soshite Ah

ABC tsuzukanai sonna n ja dame ja nai

Datte kokoro no oku wa chigau n ja nai?

Ore no seishun sonna mon ja nai atsuku oku de hatetai yo

Kitto kimi ja nakya ya da yo ore wa ikenai taiyou Na Na

"akai ito" nante esora goto demo shita gokoro de sae shinjitai no

Ore wa tadashii kimi mo tadashii tonikaku mou sayuu sarenai ze

Damashi damasare mune uzuku heta na shibai ga yori moriageru yoru

Iki ga mimi ni fureta futari Ah

ABC tsuzukanai sonna n ja dame ja nai

Datte kokoro no oku wa chigau n ja nai?

Atashi no seishun sonna mon ja nai atsuku oku de hatetai yo

Kitto kimi ja nakya ya da yo atashi ikenai taiyou

Kawasu kotoba no kioku tooku kuchimoto no ugoki ni yureugoku

Nureta kami wo nadeta soshite Ah

ABC tsuzukanai sonna n ja dame ja nai

Datte kokoro no oku wa chigau n ja nai?

Ore no seishun sonna mon ja nai atsuku oku de hatetai yo

Kitto kimi ja nakya ya da yo ore wa ikenai taiyou

Karamiau ito wa kimi to ore wo musubu akai ito

Na Na

The Bad Sun (Ikenai Taiyou - English translation)

Orange Range

The bad sun, na na

Just for a second, won't you show me?

I'm falling down from your sexy pheromones

Ah, it looks like I'm going to touch you, but I can't!

Little by little, my pulse gets faster, I can't be stopped

Memories of the words that we exchanged are far off, trembling with the movement of my mouth

I stroked your wet hair, and ah

Not continuing on from ABC, you can't do that

But aren't things different inside of your heart?

My youth, there's no such thing; I want to finish it off passionately, inside of me

I definitely don't want to be without you, I'm the bad sun, na na

A "red thread" is a pipe dream, but I want to believe in my motives

I'm right, you're right too; but anyway, I won't be controlled anymore

Deceiving and being deceived, my heart aches; a terrible drama brings the night to a climax

Our breaths meet each other's ears, ah

Not continuing on from ABC, you can't do that

But aren't things different inside of your heart?

My youth, there's no such thing; I want to finish it off passionately, inside of me

I definitely don't want to be without you, I'm the bad sun

Memories of the words that we exchanged are far off, trembling with the movement of my mouth

I stroked your wet hair, and ah

Not continuing on from ABC, you can't do that

But aren't things different inside of your heart?

My youth, there's no such thing; I want to finish it off passionately, inside of me

I definitely don't want to be without you, I'm the bad sun

Our threads are entangled, a red thread binds you and I together

Na na

Tuo Diao

Alex To

YEAH TWO THOUSAND FOUR

SUMMER TIME BABY

HIT IT UP YO

ONE TWO ONE TWO THREE FOUR

wai tao tuo diao tuo diao wai tao tuo diao

shang yi tuo diao tuo diao shang yi tuo diao

mian ju tuo diao tuo diao gui mao tuo diao tuo diao

tong tong tuo diao tuo diao

tuo tuo tuo tuo

HEY YO chuan shang bao hu se hai zi yi wei you kan tou

xiang yao you dian gao tou zen me lao shi jue de hen ben zhong

zai ye kan bu xia qu bie guai ren kou tai duo na shi xin shi chong chong

kong qi wu zhuo you ren tai guo yong zhong

liao liao ba jiu shi xiang de tai duo you ka zhu tou

cha dian yao ben xing liu lu jiu bu yao ying guo tou

qi qing liu yu ren yi dao de shui bu shi tian sheng jiu you

YO BABY YEAH BABY

quan tuo diao huan yi tao jiu di kai qiao

wo men chuan le tai duo fan nao re dao zi ji shou bu liao

pi qi zong hui mo ming qi miao mo yan you sha xiao

ni xin ku wo xin ku he bi na me ku

YEAH BABY YEAH BABY

gui ju tai duo yi qi tuo diao you gao tou yi qi biao

hun shen shang bu qing shuang chang liang kuai huo zhe duo mei hao

ni zhi dao ni xiang yao na yang cai qiao

THIS AIN'T ABOUT SEX

UH-UH IT'S ABOUT LOVE

AND IF YOU CAN FEEL IT

LET ME HEAR YOU SAY

NA NA NA NA NA

NA NA NA

NA NA NA NA NA

tong tong tuo diao

NA NA NA NA NA

NA NA NA

NA NA NA NA NA

wai tao tuo diao tuo diao wai tao tuo diao

shang yi tuo diao tuo diao shang yi tuo diao

mian ju tuo diao tuo diao gui mao tuo diao tuo diao

tong tong tuo diao tuo diao

tuo tuo tuo tuo

you chong dong mei xing dong na jiu shen me dou bao gao

mei wen ti gan cui wo men lai fen gong he zuo

shui yao dian na ba huo shui yao huo shang jia you

chang zi re le shui dou bu yao duo gan cui jia xi zhen zuo

tiao jin lai jiao huo gei ni ji hui fang zong

bai tuo da jia bu yao bai zai mei shi chuan tai duo

yi er san tuo de jin guang duan lian shen ti you tu po

YO BABY, I WANT YOU, I NEED YOU

GIRL LET'S GO

wo men chuan le tai duo fan nao re dao zi ji shou bu liao

pi qi zong hui mo ming qi miao mo yan you sha xiao

ni xin ku wo xin ku he bi na me ku

YEAH BABY YEAH BABY

gui ju tai duo yi qi tuo diao you gao tou yi qi biao

hun shen shang bu qing shuang chang liang kuai huo zhe duo mei hao

ni zhi dao ni xiang yao na yang cai qiao

HA HA HA HA

I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU YEAH

BUT I'M FEELING GOOD

AND IF YOU CAN FEEL IT TOO

JUST SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT

NA NA NA NA NA

NA NA NA

NA NA NA NA NA

tong tong tuo diao

NA NA NA NA NA

NA NA NA

NA NA NA NA NA

wai tao tuo diao tuo diao wai tao tuo diao

shang yi tuo diao tuo diao shang yi tuo diao

mian ju tuo diao tuo diao gui mao tuo diao tuo diao

tong tong tuo diao tuo diao

tuo tuo tuo tuo

She Could Be You

Shawn Hlookoff

I'm haunted by this photograph

Don't know why

Every time I look, I get shivers down my spine

You're such a beautiful face

I know those eyes

They take me back in time

She could be you

I wouldn't even know

She could be you

But that was long ago

She could be you

I wish that I could tell you

What you don't know

I dream about that day

But it's impossible

In another world,

I'll be yours tonight

But I can't break free from this life

She could be you

I wouldn't even know

She could be you

But that was long ago

She could be you

I see it all the time

I know it's true

A picture doesn't lie

She could be you

I wouldn't even know

She could be you

But that was long ago

She could be you

thats all for now peeps. will update more soon!!!

Adios!!!

13th November 2008 (Wolf Like Me, Closer, You Are Mine, Truth about Feelings, A New Earth)

2008-11-13T14:40:00.007+08:00

Hello peeps!!

back again with another post!!

it has been a while since i'v thought abt my old friends from my JIS years. some i knew very well, some i wish i had known better, and some i wish i had taken the time to get to know. im still in contact with some of them, thorugh msn, facebook. however, most of them have jus gone off and its funny how much you miss them, even after such a long time. i miss you all!

as most of you know, i'v been listening to a lot of songs nowadays and here are 3 of my top songs now, "Wolf Like Me" by TV On The Radio, "Closer" by Joshua Radin and "You Are Mine" by Mutemath. as usual, here are the lyrics!!

Wolf Like Me

TV On The Radio

Say say my playmate

Won't you lay your hands on me

Mirror my malady

Transfer my tragedy

Got a curse I cannot lift

Shines when the sunset shifts

When the moon is round and full

Gotta bust that box gotta gut that fish

(My mind's aflame)

We could jet in a stolen car

But I bet we wouldnt get too far

Before the transformation takes

Its bloodlust tanks and

Crave gets slaked

My mind has changed

My body's framed,

But God I like it

My heart's aflame

My heart is strained

But God I like it

Charge me your day rate

I'll turn you out in time

When the moon is round and full

Gonna teach you tricks that'll blow your mongrel mind

Baby doll I recognize

You're a hideous thing inside

If ever there were a lucky kind

It's you, you, you, you

I know it's strange

Another way

To get to know you

You'll never know

Unless we go

So let me show you

I know it's strange

Another way

To get to know you

We've got 'til noon

Here comes the moon

So let it show you

Show you

(now)

Dream me oh dreamer

Down to the floor

Open my hands and let them

Weave onto yours

Feel me, completer

Down to my core

Open my heart and let it

Bleed onto yours

Feeding on fever

Down on all fours

Show you what all the

howling's for

Hey hey my playmate

Let me lay waste to thee

Burned down their hanging trees

It's hot (here), hot (here), hot (here), hot (here)

Got a curse we cannot lift

Shines when the sunset shifts

There's a curse comes with a kiss (we're howling forever)

The bite that binds the gift that gives (oh, oh)

Now that we got gone for good (we're howling forever)

Writhing under your riding hood (oh, oh)

Tell your gra'ma and your mama too (we're howling forever)

It's true, true, true, true... (oh, oh)

We're howling forever

Oh, oh

Closer

Joshua Radin

So, you're alone again

I wish it were over

we seem to never end

only get closer

to the point where I can take no more

the clouds in your eyes

down your face they pour

won't you be the new one burn to shine

I take the blue ones every time

walk me down your broken line

all you have to do is cry

hush my baby now

your talking is just noise and won't lay me down amongst

your toys in a room where I can take no more

the clouds in your eyes

down your face they pour

won't you be the new one burn to shine

I take the blue ones every time

walk me down your broken line

all you have to do is cry

photographs and brightly colored paper

are your mask you wear in this caper

that is our life

we walk right into the strife

and a tear from your eye brings me home

won't you be the new one burn to shine

I take the blue ones every time

walk me down your broken line

all you have to do is cry

You are Mine

Mutemath

Everyone has their obsession

Consuming thoughts, consuming time

They hold high their prized posession

That defines the meaning of their lives

You are mine

You are mine, oh mine

You are mine

There are objects of affection

That can mesmerize the soul

There is always one addiction

That just cannot be controlled

You are mine

You are mine, oh mine

You are mine

Everyone has their obsession

Consuming thoughts, consuming time

They hold high their prized posession

for the past week or so, i'v done a lot of thinking and searching within myself for answers. and i have come across very.... interesting stuff. the truth about feelings, particularly my own. i have realised that it took one person to show me wat i SHOULD do in relationships. it was one of those moments of enlightenment that people have from time to time. its funny tho, if it was for her, i wud have kept repeating this pattern of how i go abt with relationships.

love carries no burden, love brings joy, true love is giving affection with out expecting anything in return, loving someone even tho they disappoint you, loving someone even though they have hurt you. i ahve always acted in a way where i jus cut off any love from the people that upset me, becoming a robot, no emotion towads them watsoever. thinking back, i feel guilty but wats done is done. and truth be told, those people have forgiven me as i have come to forgive them.

i'v been reading a book which some of you may have heard of, A New Earth. even from the first few pages, it has helped me realize and become aware of a lot more things abt my life. i would recommend it for anyone to read :D

well peeps, it wont be long now before my KL/Kuching trip for CV 3. i cant wait to meet some friends and make new ones. being around these special people has made my life richer and more fulfilling :D i cant thank them enuf and i will remember them for many years to come, creating many precious memories along the way :D

i think thats all for now!!!

adios, amigos ;)

11th November 2008 (My Life As I Like It, Hana Kimi, Quantum of Solace, Colors, Energy, Above and Below and Holding Out For A Hero)

2008-11-10T10:16:00.007+08:00

hi peeps!!!

this is probably the most active i have been in writing on my blog and im currently scouting for any old or new TV series to watch so watch out for new reviews!! :D

i had a chance to look at one blog that i made as a means to vent out my frustration and anger. i have never told anyone abt this blog either and i believe now is the time to let it be known. i made it way back in 2005 and when i read it now, the stuff in it kinda makes sense now :) i only have one post on it but written there is something i wud cherish forever :D

heres the link - http://mylifeasilikeit.blogspot.com/

i have been watching this tv series entitled Hana Kimi. its a japanese series, with a taiwanese version in the market as well. however, The King, my female work mate, told me that the japanese version is by far the nicest one. its abt a girl who goes into a disguise as a boy to enter a school where the boy loves is studying in. it will leave you speechless, it will make u laugh, it will even make u shed a tear. go, find, watch!!! :D

in my last post i had told u abt the movie night my company made. it was the new james bond movie and truth be told.... it wasnt that good.... the only thing keeping me awake was the loud noise and explosions....... i wud recommend that u wait for the DVD to come out... u wud not miss anything....

iv come to realize a few things abt myself and one of them is that i have a choice in every decision i make, every action i do. no matter wat color is present, i have a choice on whether to own it or let it go. i am thankful that i have a few teachers and guides in my life that can show me the way and open up my world :D

iv been listening to a lot of new music lately and heres a couple that might i have just heard.

the first one is 'Above and Below' by The Bravery. i first heard of this song in the movie Never Back Down. the other song is 'Holding Out for A Hero' by Frou Frou. apparently, this song is in the ost album of shrek 2!! as usual here are the lyrics!!!

Above and Below

By The Bravery

Ooowwww

Sometimes I feel

Like I wanna leave this place for good

Under the ground

I'll live down there without a sound

And never hear

These hissing voices all the same

I'll disappear

Causing living makes me feel ashamed

Ooowwww

I must believe

There's more above us and below

I must believe

Stranded with this bitch called hope

It keeps me here

When all I wanna do is go

It keeps me here

When all I wanna do is disappear

If this is it

When all we have and ever will

If this is it

Time is running out and standing still

I'll leave today

Cause there's nothing left to keep me here

I'll fade away

I'll turn my back and disappear

The city moves

Lunges up right from the ground

The seething Earth

It opens up and spits us out

This vicious child

Nature never wanted us

This vicious child

A cancer burning black into it's heart

If this is it

When all we have and ever will

If this is it

Time is running out and standing still

I'll leave today

Cause there's nothing left to keep me here

I'll fade away

I'll turn my back and disappear

Ooowwww

Sometimes I feel

Like I wanna leave this place for good

Under the ground

I'll live down there without a sound

And never hear

These hissing voices all the same

I'll disappear

Causing living makes me feel ashamed

If this is it

When all we have and ever will

If this is it

Time is running out and standing still

I'll leave today

Cause there's nothing left to keep me here

I'll fade away

I'll turn my back and disappear

Holding Out for A Hero

By Frou Frou

Where have all the good men gone

And where are all the gods?

Where's the street-wise Hercules

To fight the rising odds?

Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed?

Late at night I I toss and turn and dream of what I need

[Chorus]

I need a hero

I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night

He's gotta be strong

And he's gotta be fast

And he's gotta be fresh from the fight

I need a hero

I'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning light

He's gotta be sure

And it's gotta be soon

And he's gotta be larger than life

Somewhere after midnight

In my wildest fantasy

Somewhere just beyond my reach

There's someone reaching back for me

Racing on the thunder and rising with the heat

It's gonna take a superman to sweep me off my feet

[Chorus]

Up where the mountains meet the heavens above

Out where the lightning splits the sea

I would swear that there's someone somewhere

Watching me

Through the wind and the chill and the rain

And the storm and the flood

I can feel his approach

Like the fire in my blood

well i guess thats all peeps!!

Adios!!!! :D

8th November 2008 (Jakarta, Your Guardian Angel, Friendship, Clothes and James Bond)

2008-11-08T13:11:00.004+08:00

hello peeps!!!

im back again with another rant!!

my best friend, yat , is going to jakarta for 3 months as an intern for ASEAN. its a good opportunity for her since her life her isnt really going so well. although i will miss her but i wish her all the best :)

i dun recall mentioning that my fren azz has left the company. on his last day, he showed us a video. it was very nostalgic but the song that was playing with it almost moved me to tears. if i have the time i'll try to upload the video :) the title of the song is Your Guardian Angel by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus and as usual, here are the lyrics!!!!

Your Guardian Angel

The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

When I see your smile,

Tears roll down my face.

I can't replace.

And now that I'm strong, I have figured out,

How this world turns cold and it breaks through my soul.

And I know I'll find deep inside me,

I can be the one.

I will never let you fall. (let you fall.)

I'll stand up with you forever.

I'll be there for you through it all. (through it all.)

Even if saving you sends me to heaven.

It's okay,

It's okay-ay-ay-ay-ay.

Seasons are changing,

And waves are crashing,

And stars are falling all for us.

Days grow longer and nights grow shorter,

I can show you I'll be the one.

I will never let you fall. (let you fall.)

I'll stand up with you forever.

I'll be there for you through it all. (through it all.)

Even if saving you sends me to heaven.

'Cause you're my, you're my, my-e-y-e-y,

My true love, my whole heart.

Please don't throw that away.

'Cause I'm here... for you!

Please don't walk away and,

Please tell me you'll stay!

Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh!

Stay!

Whoa-oh!

Use me as you will!

Pull my strings just for a thrill!

And I know I'll be okay,

Though my skies are turning grey! (grey! grey! )

I will never let you fall!

I'll stand up with you forever!

I'll be there for you through it all,

Even if saving you sends me to heaven!

I will never let you fall!

I'll stand up with you forever!

I'll be there for you through it all,

Even if saving you sends me to heaven!

today at lunch i came to visit yvon, one of the people i have come to know for the past few years. we had an interesting chat about people and ourselves. i came to realize that no matter how bad of an influence a friend can be, it gives me no right to jus up and disappear from their lives. i'll jus have to make a choice, lose a few good frens that i have come to know and love, or be by their side thru thick and thin regardless of how they may treat u. at first i was not so sure i'd like to do it but after giving it some thought, i am the only person that can make choices for myself. so now its up to me. now for the million dollar question, what am i going to do, with my one wild and precious life? ;)

yesterday, yat and i went shopping for clothes and shoes. wats the occasion? the company is arranging a movie night this sunday to watch the latest James Bond movie :D so i decided to bring along yat. first we had dinner at ideal in gdg, wasnt the most satisfying dinner i have had but the company i ate with was wat mattered :D actually, the idea to get clothes came abt during dinner. the original plan was to jus have dinner and then go home. but one thing led to another, so we ended up spending up to 10pm going around gdg, shopping. it was great fun~~~~~~ with my colour-blindness, im not a really good judge of wat colours are nice. thats why having her around helped me out. i am going to miss her when she's not around~~~ most of the stuff bought last night was for me but there are 2 items that she bought for herself. a pair of sunglasses and shoes. actually, i paid for the sunglasses coz she wanted me to buy it for her. anyway, at the end of it, we wanted to go for a drink but decided not to coz we were both tired~~~

well peeps, i guess thats it for now!

more updates will come! whenever i feel like it of coz ;)

adios!!

6th November 2008 (CV 2, CV 3, How I Met Your Mother and MinDef)

2008-11-06T10:10:00.006+08:00

hello peeps!!!

its been a long time since my last post and i'v got a few things to write!!

first off, im no longer seeing anyone!! as bad as it sounds, its refreshing to realize that i can still choose who i want to be with :D

i got a call from mindef a few weeks back offering me a job! it was something that came along at jus the right time so i replied that i was interested and handed back my application form. so its jus waiting for the interview call now :D

i'v been watching a series titled "How I Met Your Mother". first off, i really didnt want to watch it but after some contemplating and persuation from azz, i finally said "okay fine. jus give me all the seasons you got.". he gave me seasons 1-3 and i'v been hooked ever since. im almost done with season 2 and season 4 is the current season. for those who like a good laugh and good storyline, this is a must watch :D

CV 2 in brunei was held in october and it was fun! met a some people i know and a few new ones as well. i became very good frens with several of them and its a relief to find people i can relate with :D became very close to 3 people during that time, G (malaysian girl that works in spore), E (G's younger sister) and Rad (my CV 1 class mate). we came to realize a lot of things during those few days and it has made us closer than anyone wud have imagined.

Next step for me is goin to CV 3 which is going to be in kuching~~~~~ i have never been to kuching but i heard from my mei mei that its a very nice place. plus G and E are goin to be there as well. truthfully, i was thinking of skipping CV 3 in kuching but those two persuaded me to go. it shud be interesting :D

well peeps, i gues thats all for now.

adios!!!

29th September 2008 (Red Rose and Cant Take My Eyes Off Of You)

2008-09-29T22:24:00.008+08:00

hello people!!!!

another blog post, another rant and another day!!!! :)

first off i was set up on a blind date by Win with one of her cousins, Dot. that was on thursday and friday, both Win and Dot dropped by RC. i was suprised bcoz i wasnt expecting for Win to set it up that fast, and i was doin work with Marriz and Naz helping them out with the company's hari raya E-card. Dot gave me a rose she used in a photo shoot. it was an unbloomed rose and it had a certain scent to it and last night i found out why ;)

me and Dot hung out last night. met her in coffee bean with her photog gang. sat there, talked with the gang for a bit, and waited for Win to drop by, which she didnt in the end!! :P

but either way, we moved to RC and no one was there. we agreed that this was not a proper date hehehe. so while we wer there, we talked abt ourselves a bit, where we've been, which skool we went too. Win was taking her sweet time gettin here so we wondering if she was ever gonna show up at all. my fren Liza showed up with a bottle but i didnt feel like having any coz i had to drive Dot home :P

when she finally showed up, she was jus grinning her face off and both of us jus rolled our eyes. Win wanted to send Dot home but she finally gave in and let me send her home :)

i've been listening to a song by Muse, titled Cant Take My eyes off of you. a nice twist to an old song!! here are the lyrics ;)

Cant Take My Eyes Off Of You By Muse

You're just too good to be true

Can't take my eyes off of you

You feel like heaven to touch

I wanna hold you so much

At long last love has arrived

And I thank God I'm alive

You're just too good to be true

Can't take my eyes off of you

Pardon the way that I stare

There's nothing else to compare

The sight of you makes me weak

There are no words left to speak

So if you feel like I feel

Please let me know that it's real

Youre just to good to be true

Can't take my eyes off of you

I love you baby, and if it's quite alright

I need you baby to warm the lonely nights

I love you baby, trust in me when I say

Oh pretty baby, don't bring me down I pray

Oh pretty baby, now that I've found you

Let me love you baby, let me love you

You're just too good to be true

Can't take my eyes off of you

You feel like heaven to touch

I wanna hold you so much

At long last love has arrived

And I thank God I'm alive

You're just too good to be true

Can't take my eyes off of you

I love you baby, and if it's quite alright

I need you baby to warm the lonely nights

I love you baby, trust in me when I say

Oh pretty baby, don't bring me down I pray

Oh pretty baby, now that I've found you

Let me love you baby, let me love you

well i suppose thats it for now peeps!!!

Adios!!!

25th September 2008 (BMW and Models)

2008-09-24T21:37:00.005+08:00

Hello people!!!!! you guessed it!!! its the grand unveiling!!!!!! Enjoy!!! the model used in this is none other than the handsome, gentlemanly, Rahman of Red Canopy!!!!

Eseh, mcm banar c rahman ah, hehehe!!

eksen tido ka? iatah caranya pose mcm org kaya tah ni~~~~ hehehe

24th September 2008 (Wallpapers and Cookies)

2008-09-24T11:07:00.005+08:00

hello people!!! this will be a very short post. will finally show wat my laptop looks like, hehehe

my wallpaper is courtesy of Rift and the title is "shut up". a very nice looking one and i cant help but stare into the eyes of the girl as well~~~~ VERY hypnotic~~~~~~ hehehehe

yesterday while i was at home being sick, they passed out bags of peanut butter cookies and the pics are below:

kudos to rozana and the maker of the small ketupats, who shall not be named ;), for taking the time and putting in so much effort into making these small but valuable treats!!! *hugs*

okay peeps, thats all for now!! watch out for pics of my car very soon!!!!

17th September 2008 (BMW 320i, License Plates, Loans, Deadlines, Hari Raya E-Cards, ICDL Exams and Crystals)

2008-09-16T15:24:00.004+08:00

hello people!!

its another swaggy day today!! luck jus dun stop coming my way this time around~~~

as it states in the title... yes...... i do have a new car.... and its a BMW 320i.... hehehe~~~ i paid for it last Saturday, on the 13th of September, went back to QAF on the 15th to drop off my 3 months salary slip, went to HSBC on the 16th to apply for the loan and it got approved on the day itself, went to Land Transport to day to get my license plate number and i got the one that had the numbers in my IC. KJ9299 is going to be the number that is registered for my car. hehehehe im so excited abt getting my new car. several of my workmates and friends have already booked to test drive my car or have ride in it. well one thing is sure, i'll be the first one to drive and ride in the car, hehehehe. sory guys, but the owner gets first dibs :P will post pixs of it once i have the car, hehehe~~~

another thing that's been goin on at the office is the deadlines that we were given to complete our documents. frankly, im a bit stressed coz not only am i not able to eat to replenish my energy, I'm constantly freezing my butt off!!!! without food, i cannot function, im practically cannibalising myself, digesting my own cells. well, i hope i wont have to resort to eating myself to death every sungkai time or jus not fasting at all.

i decided to volunteer my body (like a piece of meat, hehehehe) to be a model for BAG's e-greeting card for Hari Raya this year. i have never done any modelling of ANY sort so i was nervous. i had to pose with my workmate azz for abt 15 minutes and it was so awkward bcoz we kept on trying not to laugh, hehehe. but in the end we did alright and the pictures was enuf for the first scene. im not going to be included in the other scenes which is fine by me, hehehe.

and today i have another piece of news!! i passed ALL my ICDL exams!!!!!!! yay~~~~~~~ it was nerve wrecking but somehow i made thru it~~~~ now my probation is half-way complete!! i jus need to pass my assesment ;)

i jus realized something very fascinating for the past few days.... the crystals around some areas of the office have grown darker. according to zana, the crystals are absorbing energy from everyone (mostly stress energy). so it appears that we will need to do some cleansing in the office, singing bowls and all.

well, thats all for now peeps.

adios!!!!

13th September 2008 (1st Video Attempt!!!)

2008-09-13T10:35:00.004+08:00

here's the video people!! enjoy!!!!

12th September 2008 (Family Trees, Videos, Coyotes, Let Go, Water in The Face, Process Flows, Unexpected Changes and Shesha)

2008-09-12T18:36:00.013+08:00

hello peeps!!!! its another word filled blog post from yours truly!!

its been a long day for me today, this is my second week working on a friday and not to mention i was late again for the third time this week. been kinda gettin that sort of feeling where you going to be sick. had a slight fever for the past 3 days and its getting worse. i took medicine for it and i hope it wont get anymore worse than it is now *fingers crossed*

anyway, back to wat has happened today. i had a meeting for most part of my day discussing abt process flows abt my teams project that im involved in. it gave me a good insight as to wat pieces of information we are missing. even though we had gone thru the proces flow a fw times already, today was quite different. thanks to SW for pointing out the things that we were missing in our explanation ;)

apparently, while we wer havin our meeting (theres 4 of us by the way, billy, SW, fel and myself), the rest of our team decided to draw this family tree :

its states the names of people that have been in our FA team, past and present. it even lists where they have gone off to and the year they joined. those that are crossed out are not in the team at the moment. its kinda interesting to see how many FA people have moved on to other projects . what really got to me was this modified section of the family tree where i came in:

funny enuf, i agree with this. if u havent guessed it yet, they drew evil wings and horns around my name, a halo and angel wings on azz's name and a faded heart on kitkat's name. i was voted most likely to go to hell when i die (*LOL*) and my team lead keeps on reminding me that too :P but anyway, my life and sins are my own and when the time comes, i'll deal with it ;)

i tried my first attempt at recording a video with my mac and i cant seem to get it to upload with this slow connection at Red Canopy Batu Besurat :( but i will get it up once i can get a better connection tho :)

i've been listening to a few songs for these past few days and my top fav at the moment is Let Go by Frou Frou and Coyotes by Jason Mraz. here are the lyrics!!!

Let Go by Frou Frou

drink up, baby down

mmm, are you in or are you out

leave your things behind

'cause it's all going off without you

excuse me, too busy you're writing your tragedy

these mishaps

you bubble wrap

when you've no idea what you're like

so let go, jump in

oh well, whatcha waiting for

it's alright

'cause there's beauty in the breakdown

so let go, just get in

oh, it's so amazing here

it's alright

'cause there's beauty in the breakdown

it gains the more it gives

and then it rises with the fall

so hand me that remote

can't you see that all that stuff's a sideshow

such boundless pleasure

we've no time for later now

you can't await your own arrival

you've 20 seconds to comply

so let go, jump in

oh well, whatcha waiting for

it's alright

'cause there's beauty in the breakdown

so let go, just get in

oh, it's so amazing here

it's alright

'cause there's beauty in the breakdown

Coyotes by Jason Mraz

Sipping coffee at a quarter to two

I wake up and i'm dallin and my minds running to you

No wonder i'm a one woman man

She keeps me hot in a jar on the nightstand

I should tell her that she couldn't be more

Opposite then a foot in a door,

Theres no one else I would rather go out with, thats hell when I see them standing there

Me and my mouth we don't mean to be rushing

We talk about deep freely cuz we crushing

I want to shake both sides of the brush ya

Theatrically I say we rock it

And when the coyotes they sing at the park

Till the city lights starts falling

Ride them rodes they winding down till the flame hits the ground

Every motion is closer to touching the coyotes sing when they call in the middle of it.

Coming back for more,

You know I'm coming for you

You know we should be should be together

While we rock, we won't put a stop

Not today not tomorrow.

You better lock your doors

You know why, cuz we want you

Cuz when I kill a liar

I wish the world was a live like you.

I wish the world would help me through

Another repetuity to approach you

Another telepathic rendezvous

I wish you would walk when your jogging

You got a duty to sell in mexico

I got to try to keep you acting shady

I don't like liking you when you walk because

I gotta figure out the snooze alarm

I wanta lay in a place till dawn

I wanta play in the park come on

Now let me see ya alarm in the lesh hello

And when the coyotes escape to new york

Then the city lights has crumbles to the sea

And the girls turned it into lost and found

The flying metal hit the ground

Every motion is closer to touching the coyotes singing

I'm a coyote and I got a taste for your loving

You know I will come for you

You know we should be, we should be together,

Because once we work we want to stop

Not today or tomorrow

Because once we work we want to stop

Not today or tomorrow

You know I will come for you

You know we should be, we should be together,

Because once we work we want to stop

Not today or tomorrow

iv been listening to these two songs and the lyrics really speak to me at the moment hehehe.

my fren yan was fascinated abt something very weird last night. he wanted to know how it feels like to literally throw water at someones face and i was conveniently infront of him when he said it!!! so i spent most of last night in a nervous state coz i know he will throw the glass of water at me jus for fun!!! but after a while he jus decided that he wud throw the water somewhere else.... and he used my glass as well, lol!!!

i jus found out some very surprising news today. the 500 orphans wont be getting their free meal from BAG Networks. instead, the first 100 orphans will receive free ICDL training instead. well, i figure that is a good move anyway. give a man food and he can eat for a day, teach a man to fish and he can eat all the time. it was an unexpected change of heart but this alternative has good intentions as well :)

tonight im supposed to meet up with ak amar and some of the BAG interns hopefully for some RnR and shesha as well. with the ban on smoking its been hard to find a place to smoke shesha at all. so guys, if you want shesha and live near batu besurat, drop by Red Canopy to get your fix!! :) im still waiting for them to arrive but im pretty sure they'll show since most of them wont be working 2moro anyway, hehehe.

anyway people, thats my daily dose of gibberish and news.

adios!!! :)

11th September 2008 (ICDL, Ruby on Rails, Ramadhan and 9-11)

2008-09-11T20:35:00.009+08:00

hello people, its that time again!!

time to spin up my version of news and gibberish to be placed onto the web to be read by anyone :)

i just realized a moment ago that today is 9-11. its has been a while since that incident and i stil remember when i first heard of the news. i was at home listening to the CapitalFM on my phone (back then, they didnt have walkman phones, hehehe), when they interrupted the current program with news that the twin towers were hit by 2 airplanes. at first i tot it was a joke since it was CT that was making the announcement but little that i knew that it was very much true. the next day at JIS, we were given the whole day to watch the news in the library and discuss our feelings abt the incident.

after all this time, has anyone benefitted from this event? some might say yes, some might say no. there was numerous talks of conspiracy and speculation but the truth hold firm, wat did we gain out of this? nothing good. a large number of people died, more died subsequently from the iraq war and the world suffered. i pray for those who have died, may they rest in peace, regardless of religion, regardless of race. we all die some time, but no one deserves to die they way they did.

on to a brighter subject, BAG(pronounced seperately B.A.G) Networks, the company i work for, will be holding a charity event where 500 orphans will be fed to a sungkai feast. the particulars are still being discussed but hopefully the event will commence within the holy month of ramadhan. iv read up a few articles on the net, from ranoadidas, where charity events are being planned. its a good time of the year for charity and i hope that we all can set aside our differences to work together to fulfill the goals and vision of these events :)

another piece of news is personal. im currently in the process of aqcuiring my ICDL (international Computer Driving License). its actually a requirement in BAG Networks for all permanent employees to take this course. so far im feeling confident that i will pass. wish me luck peeps :) the test requires me to know the functions available in Windows XP and Microsoft Office. one of my office mates, kitkat, had trouble with the database section of the test, where she only got 80%. 80% might sound impressive to most but, 80% is the passing mark for the test!!! ur truly got 86% (heheeh) but even stil i was worried myself for a lil bit there. mind u, these are jus the mock tests so even if we do fail, its still ok. one of my other office mates, billy, got a whopping 93% for it but he claims that he got help from one of our mates and the instructor :P

since iv jus gotten my mac, im kinda a lil confused but i'll manage thru it somehow. funny enuf, there is no ICDL exam that tests u on about Mac os or any of the other open source OSes. mayb there shud be an exam for it, hehehe.

its been more than a week (i think) that my mac has been with me. one of my work mates, ryan, who also happens to have the first mac book pro in the office, gave me a an insight on a programming language called Ruby. he was also the person that helped me to configure my mac so that i can use it for work, so cheers to you mate ;)

well people, thats all for now.

im gonna head off home now. btw, Rad Canopy Cafe is having a sungkai promotion, for every 6 pax get 1 free for this week so head down there okay??

adios!!! :)

4th September 2008 (Mac Book Pros and IMacs)

2008-09-04T12:19:00.004+08:00

hello again people!!!

as the topic states above, yes... i am not using my new mac book pro!!! yay!!!! it took me years of comtemplation to actually convince myself that i shud get one of these. and yes, it is all that i dreamed it would be!!!

fast processing, seamless graphic rendering, the whole shabang!!! makes my old laptop really look like a piece of junk!!!

i got it yesterday and im already packin in music, pictures and iv also started transferring stuff from my old laptop to this one. im still waiting for ym 1 terabyte external harddisk from qqestore tho. its already a week and its still not here. well, they dun exactly keep any stuff in stock anyway (like my first attempt to buy an xbox 360~~).

bit by bit, im gettin myself a lot more familiar with the new interface and processes. its quite a piece of high tech machinery this laptop and its only the low spec version. i can only imagine wat the high spec version would perform.

im not really known for my kindness towards technological stuff. i push its limits to the point where it breaks. thats why my compaq laptop didnt last so long. it took me a year to break it down to the point where it is now. i predict that this mac will last me 3 years before i can declare it useless, hahahaha!! that might be too optomistic on my part coz my fren actually said that this machine will last me for 5 years!!! well thats only bcoz he hasnt seen me using my laptops, kehkeh.

iv figured out how to access the company LAN using my mac and add the network printers. i have yet to figure out how to configure documents and sort out my office email. i cant keep on using my safari to go to the internet outlook. i jus cant resist surfing other sites as well, hehehe.

last night's test run of my laptop was very successful. updated most of the stuff and got programs that wil allow me to get music and such, hehehe.

right now im contemplatin whether or not i should put up pix on my blog. mostppl have done that and i find it quite good, if the pixs are put and arranged in a proper manner.

im tryin to get my fren (whos name shall not be revealed) to give me pix of outings, events, and other stuff that we do. will update on how my negotiations will ensue, hehehe.

well, today im gonna do a few things after work. meet up with my cousin to lend him some money, meet up my frens for sungkai, and maybe hang out at Red Canopy Foodcourt for a bit. from doing work, hanging out wit frens, i stil havent had a drink even tho i know i can get some. hmmm, a spot of baileys would be perfect this time of year, hehehe.

well peeps, im off. gotta go back to doin work.

adios ;)

12th August 2008 (Lucky in Love)

2008-08-12T12:42:00.002+08:00

hello again people!!

came across this song around yesterday and finally got around to downloading it, Jason Mraz Feat. Colbie Callait - Lucky. first time i heard it, i was already hooked =). if any of you have noticed, im listening to music most of the time and yes, music is as essential as breathing to me, hehehe.

i cant imagine a world where there isnt any noise or sound. how boring, uninteresting it would be to live in that kind of world. as usual, here are the lyrics!!!

Jason Mraz Feat.Colbie Callait - Lucky
Do you hear me,
I'm talking to you
Across the water across the deep blue ocean
Under the open sky oh my, baby I'm trying
Boy I hear you in my dreams
I feel your whisper across the sea
I keep you with me in my heart
You make it easier when life gets hard

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Oooohhhhoohhhhohhooohhooohhooohoooh

They don't know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Every time we say goodbye
I wish we had one more kiss
I'll wait for you I promise you, I will

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I'm lucky we're in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

And so I'm sailing through the sea
To an island where we'll meet
You'll hear the music, fell the air
I'll put a flower in your hair
Though the breezes through trees
Move so pretty you're all I see
As the world keeps spinning round
You hold me right here right now

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I'm lucky we're in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

Ooohh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
Ooooh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

i had a chat with one of my new close friends yesterday after work and we started talking about what he read from a book and funny enuf, the title of the book is "Why cant i fall in love?". and the book talked about several things that we do and say that causes us to not be in a relationship.

what was more surprising than the title of the book was how the stuff in the book actually relate to me and one of the things that really stuck to me was "there is no perfect girl/guy, so stop searching for one!".

i dun really know about other people but for myself, i long for that perfect mate. in fact, i did make a list of what qualities she should have! but no, im not going to disclose it here :P. anyways, the matter of fact is, we are so focused on looking for the perfect one that we forget what is already in front of us. personally, i have given up on so many girls that at one point, i jus gave up looking and decided to stay alone. well that decision didnt last long i'll tell you that. like i mentioned in my previous posts, NO ONE can survive without having some sort of relationship with someone, be it good or bad.

lets give this a bit more thought now. among all of the opposite sex that you know, are there any of them you would ACTUALLY go for? think about that for a while people. and then consider what sort of qualitites attracts you to them? after you've done that, now ask yourself why didnt you ask them if they wanted to start a relationship? hopefully this will help you in your thought process as it has helped me in the last month or so =)

my friend actually made me do these questions when i was in a real slump on how to get my love life back on track. it wasnt comfortable talking about some of this stuff so lucky for you, u have a choice of doin it yourself. but on the other hand, a second opinion is helpful at times.

once i did the exercise, it became very apparent wat sort of patterns i go thru and its always the same, which is scary. with the stuff my fren jus told me yesterday, it finally hit me, i need to seriously change my habits and mindset. i dun want to spent the rest of my life alone, its jus not what i want!!

i want to make a loving family of my own, my own children, making fabulous memories along the way. it might sound corny but sorry thats jus how i am!! =)

okay people, its time for me to go again.
till next time, adios.

7th August 2008 (Munajat Cinta & 08/08/08)

2008-08-07T12:57:00.002+08:00

hello and welcome people!!!

2moro is probably the luckiest day you will ever have in your ENTIRE life!! thats right people, you might only experience this ONCE in your life, unless of course your immortal then your good, hehehe~~~

its the perfect day to tie the knot (as many of you should know), making business/personal commitments, etc. basically, its a really good day!!! for those of you who are single right now (including myself, hehehe), you should get up, get out and strut your stuff 2moro!!! who knows, you might meet the girl/boy of your dreams!!!

oddly enough, i came across this song, munajat cinta by The Rock (no no, its not the wrestling guy), its an indonesian band and the lyrics are very menaingful. so, for those guys/gals out there who is looking for some longlasting lurve 2moro, hum this sng and read the lyrics!!!

The Rock feat Ahmad Dhani - Munajat Cinta

lucky for all of you, i've even included the guitar chords, so u guys out there that want to swoon some girls, here's your chance, hehehe. ;)

i heard this song once and its been stuck in my head since. it took me 30mins to find the mp3 on the web (hehehe, yes, piracy~~~) but when i got it, it was so satisfying~~~~

well people i suppose thats it for now!!!

adios!

4th August 2008 (Everything)

2008-08-04T12:41:00.002+08:00

hello and welcome people!!

when i say people, i am referring to you two legged mammals that have five fingers and thumbs!!

so wat hav been happening? my credit card has been gettin WAY to much action lately. its been racking up a large bill. not being able to buy cheap xbox 360 games anymore isnt helping. urgh, i sense a large future expense thats going to happen during the releases of the new final fantasy and rockband2 on the xbox 360.

on a happier note, i finally got another controller for my console!! yay!! and a quick charge pack with 1 rechargable battery included!! the controller is pink tho, since my sisters will be using it anyway (my brother can use it too if they want, hehehe).

the rechargable battery is white so i need to find one in pink for the other one. thats going to be a tough search since i havent seen any other shops with a wider selection of xbox stuff than EGM (yes yes, i might as well promote them, hehe).

need to buy soul caliber 4 as well. my siblings have been saying that i dun buy enuf fighting games for my xbox so soul caliber 4 is a good buy. i already bought rumble roses and naruto but those are jus not enuf.

now on to more serious topics and today's lucky winner is~~~~ relationships. its not jus relationships between men and women, im talking about relationships with your best mate, family, siblings, etc. people have often overlooked the fact of how relationships affect us as individuals.

we grew up having relationships, even those people who say they are not friends with anyone, they have relationships too, whether they like it or not. you dun have to like having that relationship but not liking it doesnt mean you dun have it.

and it is those kind of hurtful relationships that change you the most. believe it or not, positive relationships are always over-powered by negative ones, its a fact. somehow it doesnt effect some people but for most, it is the case.

its something inside all of us where there is a need to hold on to pain, be it physical or emotional. worse thing is, some people let it fester inside of them to the point where they have meltdowns and THAT is something to look out for. people have been ignoring the fact that there is a rise in the number of mentally diagnosed patients in the world.

contrary to what most people think, what ever we do does make a difference in the world. it is because of thinking that you are one, you are weak, you are powerless, that causes people to break down and bottle up their potential to do so much.

a random act of kindness can change the world, lend a helping hand or ear to those who you care for, because it is the best thing to do. relationships should be something that you cherish and remember, because no matter how short or insignificant you might think it is, nothing is what it seems at first.

its up to you people. thats its from me.

adios

2nd August 2008 (Drugs, Sex and........ Racial Differences!!)

2008-08-02T12:20:00.002+08:00

yes people it is official, i am on drugs.... officially of course... hehehehe

doctors gave me medication to take for my allergies. apparently, im allergic to my environment so i cant really go out much or go jogging or do anything that involves goin outside. not to mention i have two kinds of pills to take, drowsy or non-drowsy! non-drowsy for morning and the other for night. yes yes, you can crack the jokes now~~~~ now i can have my bangang/high faces all the time~~~ kehkeh~~~

now on a more serious note, we have the topic of racial differences to talk about. we so used to hearing the differences between races, how chinese are frugal people, indians know how to bargain, etc. deeper still, there's the talk of how each race has its own values and beliefs, malays believe in family ties, indians believe in reincarnation, the chinese believe in the afterlife, etc.

with all the talk on differences, no one REALLY cares to stop and look at how similar we have become right now. when you look at it more carefully, there has been a shift or integration of culture and values for us who live in south east asia. attribute that to the inter-racial weddings happening all over south east asia.

i dun even need to look far away to find evidence, i have a more racially diverse number of friends a person could have. chinese, malay, indian, it has somehow gave sense to the phrase "cultural melting pot". we somehow take into ourselves the characteristics of the people around us, our friends, family, community, etc.

imagine when everyone in the world constantly interacts with each other, imagine that there are no more strangers in this world, we all know who the other is, who their family is, their culture, values..... we would then mould into one unified world culture that is borne out of understanding.... might sound idealistic but consider it for a second because weirder things have happened if you know what i mean ;)

there has been talk where we all conform to one global culture and abandon our own culture altogether. consider this for a second, who makes the choice to uphold our culture? we do. who has the right to say what we want to do? ourselves again. who has the right to choose which culture stays? no one does. combining cultures does not mean the death of the other 'weaker' cultures, it is a sign of understanding between them. it is a sign of respect, it is a sign of acknowledgement, it is a sign of peace.

i am myself a product of two different races and i freely embrace both sides of my cultures. i respect both of my ancesteral heritage and i accept that it is a part of me. BOTH of them are important and i have not forgotten it.

we all originated from the same source, regardless of your religion. our blood is the same colour, when we are hurt we feel pain, when we feel sad we cry, when we are happy we laugh. is that not proof enough?

well people, im off. will write more when i have time. this is me, signing off.

adios ;)

19th July 2008 (Let The Past Lay Rest)

2008-07-19T13:33:00.002+08:00

it has been way too long since the last time i blogged....

feels like almost an eternity........

a lot has happened since the last time i wrote here.....

friendships made and broken.......

choices made.....

paths taken......

and now here i am.....

alone but not alone at the same time......

no use wondering what could have been....

or remembering what has been......

the most important thing to me now......

is NOW.......

family, friends, acquaintances.....

as a turtle once said, yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery but today is a gift. that is why its called the present......

as i write in this blog, in my office, during my lunch time....

the most frequent question asked in my mind is.....

"why?"

questions that i do not know the answer but somehow i do know the answer.....

some of the questions i asked in that pretense has been answered...

while others are still unknown to me.....

i suppose they weren't kidding when they said life was a journey....

well, thats all i have to say for now... :)

12th March 2007 (1 Week in Singapore)

2007-03-12T18:16:00.001+08:00

i spent 1 week in my mom's home country.. the island of singapore... population over 4 million... a lot of fun and memorable things happened during my stay there... sum of them wer familiar sensations and experiences, sum wer new.....

Sunday-4th march
from the time i boarded the plane till i landed at changi, i kept tihinkin to my myself how unreal this felt... comin back to spore... stayin there for 1 week... i wondered how it has changed and wat things still remained the same... the 2 hour flight was a quiet one, nothing happened much... when i arrived, uncle nor and my grandma wer to pick me up.. haha when i got out of the arrival terminal, both of them cudnt recognise me!! haha!! luckly i spotted them.. if i didnt, they wudnt hav noticed me.. proves that i have changed a lot.. the airport has grown to be so big!!! theres like terminals for budget airlines now!! and its not jus airasia!! there's a whole list of em!!

when i arrived at my grannys place, i had my first taste of spore food~~ seafood fried rice, spore style!!! sumhow everything tastes nice~~ that night i slept like a rock~~

Monday-5th march
woke up at 5am. the weather was really nice~~ although we're on the 4th floor and really close to the street, there was very little pollution. all i could smell was the trees, food from the stalls~~ the hustle and noise from the cars passing did not bother me.. it felt totally like home~~ after breakfast, i went out with my grandma to the shops around the area.. it was sorta like a refresher course.. quite a lot has changed there.. new shops, new rules, new social norms... we had lunch at a stall that serves the best food around in my neighborhood.. although it was a bit spicy, i enjoyed it very much.. u can never get that kind of good food back in brunei.. i finally bought a singtel prepaid sim card.. i cudnt believe that it was cheaper now than it was 4 years ago.. it only costed my 8 dollars!! when we went back to my grandma's place, i started calling up wilfred and a few of my frenz there. as expected, they're busy with skool.. haha turns out they had their break way before mine!! i didnt go out much for the rest of the day.. i wanted to enjoy the sensation of the surroundings~~

Tuesday 6th March
i'm supposed to go to SMU to meet up with wil today. i could recall how to get to orchard using the mrt and since SMU was on the way there it wasnt a problem to get there. i arrived at dhoby with a lot of time to spare. it was around 11am plus and there werent a lot of ppl around. took the time to walk around and look at some of the shops before i settled down at dome, had sum ice blended choco and just chilled for the time being. i cud see the smu building from where i was sitting. there was a big difference between the dome in spore and the dome back in brunei. one is dat they had a wine list here. two, they serve pork. and three... the girls who work and go there r damn hot! when wil finally arrived, we talked for a bit jus to catch up before making our move.

the walk to smu wasnt really long but it was a hot day and i cudnt wait to enter the air conditioned building. turns out orchard was literally 5 mins away and there are several malls and clubs around the area. talk about havin choices of where to hang out.

there was only one expression i wud give the smu building... high tech!! the escalators can move when people are on them and stop when ppl get off!! to get into the building there gates that scan student id cards!

the place was literally state-of-the-art!! the class had at least 2 projectors, two desktops, automatic blinds, automatic everything!!! it was a technology heaven!!

sad to say, the class i attended with will was not my cup of tea~~~ it was statistics!!! if any of my frenz were to hear that i woke up in the morning for a statistics class, they would say "Where's the real raf and who are you?!" well, all in all i did not fall asleep but i did find out that the academic standards there were top notch and every single one of the students are definitely not lazy!! you too wilfred!! i felt totally humble when i saw the level of intelligence displayed in the class itself...

moving on~~~ after the class, wil decided that he would give me a proper tour of the place. first we headed to the food court area and it was big!! i decided that i wudnt try to confuse myself by trying to choose what to eat so i told wil that i'll grab sumthin later. but afterwards, i found out there was a student lounge and they served~~~~ you guessed it~~~ drinks! however, they only start serving em at 5pm and it was only 3.30pm!!!! oh well, that killed my appetite... so we decided to scram from the place and head to the admin block coz wil had to meet with sumone. i hav to say, after visiting the place, i wudnt mind studying here for my masters degree.

19/07/2008 Note: I cant even remember anything else about that one week besides the fact that it was awesome!!! oh well, too bad i cudnt recall anymore.

30th January 2007 (New Old School, New Old Pains)

2007-01-30T20:41:00.000+08:00

another year, another birthday, a year older..... a year wiser?? hahaha i dont think so!!! :P to those who follow this blog, im going to singapore this march for my mid semester break!!!! thats the good news... the bad news is its a birthday present... from me to me!!! hahaha!!! oh well, like i always say, when u want something done, u gotta do it urself! and since ive been aching for a trip to singapore, i bought a ticket!! ahhh~~~ singapore~~~ a FINE city~~~ the country that cemented its image to the world as the country that banned chewing gum~~~ hmmmmmm maybe i'll sneak sum gum in!! sell em to the natives, gain their trust and then monopolise the market!!! wahahahaha!!!!

originally, i wanted to buy a new phone and a new 3g line.... however~~~ the phone that i wanted was not in stock in the country... and aparently its still expensive even tho its been released in 2005!!! when i tried to find a 2nd hand 1, there was no one willing to sell it to me!!! and i mean NO ONE!! and thats when i got fed up and upset that i decided to use the money for sumthin else.... something extravagant... something that would appease my suffering~~~ and finally thought "hey! i cud go to singapore!!" and the rest is history!!

since i'll be in singapore for exactly 1 week, i've laid out a rough plan of wat im gonna do there... with a few hundred dollars in hand~~~ theres so many things i can do!!!! the night life that ive craved!! the party scene!! the shopping!! being able to meet up wit friends i havent seen in years!!
first things first, i'll get myself a sim card. then i'll call up the guys to see if they can come out on the day that i arrive. and from there, who knows!! anything can happen to a guy in a foreign country!! i mean anything!!

now uni hasnt been a smooth ride either... i had to drop 1 course due to a timetable clash but at least i'll hav sumone to accompany me when i take it next year. 2nd year kids are not gettin on my nerves anymore... instead i find them to be a soothing presence during lectures and tutorials.. its a good change to see fresh new faces in my classes... although theyre only in 2nd year, i can ord see who will be the ones to stand out... luck for me they havent wised up enuf to stand me up!! wahahaha!!!

some things still get on my nerves no matter wat i tell ppl.... some objects have become a symbol that i consider to represent pure hatred and annoyance.... some things just cant change.. especially when in comes down to feelings.... hah i finally realised how someone i know felt about me... and how they kept that hatred for so long.... oh well... i just end up being a hypocrite... hahaha...

well all in all, i wish myself a happy belated birthday... and i thank myself for giving myself that trip to singapore... and i thank the ppl down at RC for the surprise bday party and the cake!!! hehe!! well thats it folks!! till next time!!

RaFaeL - Unlearn the past, Invent the future

30th October 2006 (Nan Arayo!!)

2006-10-29T23:24:00.000+08:00

Se7en
Nan Arayo

(featuring: Teddy)

Aye, straight up, there's only one boy that's holdin' it down
Yeah, ya'll already know who it is
(Guess who's back?) This time around,
We're gonna set the whole city on fire
(Ya boy is back) And you know who?
He's S-E-V-E-N, Get' Em!

Nareul irhoborin geudae shison
Machi dareun saramchorom boyo
Goodge oroborin geudae miso
Nae gaseumeun jongmal tojil gotman gata

Marhae bwa (modeun gol) mareul hae bwara
Nomogaryuhgo hajima
Doneun sogiryuh hajima
Hwaga na (modeun ge) nomu hwaga na
Uh ijeneun do isang chameul sooga obso

[CHORUS]
(Ijen) Nan arayo ee bami heureumyuhn
Geudae nal ddonandaneun goseul (naneun aro)
(Ijen) Nan arayo ee bami heureumyuhn
Geudael doo bon dashi bol soo obdaneun gol ara

(Ya boy is back to make ya break ya neck)
(Ya boy is back,) And it's who?
He's S-E-V-E-N

Doradanidon ni somoon
Midgo shipji anhjiman geudae mam ara
Naega boodami dwen saram
Nae gaseumeun jongmal tojil gotman gata

Ddonaga (ddonaga) geunyang ddonaga
Joheun yuhjareul mannaran
Niga joheun mal haji ma
Jalsara (jalsara) honja jalsara
Haneureul bomyuhnso noonmooreul heullyuhsso
Chameul sooga obso

[CHORUS]
(Ijen) Nan arayo ee bami heureumyuhn
Geudae nal ddonandaneun goseul (naneun aro)
(Ijen) Nan arayo ee bami heureumyuhn
Geudael doo bon dashi bol soo obdaneun gol ara

[RAP]
Idaero boryuhdoogo nal ddonagani
Don't walk away, please hold up, mommy
Heart breaker-breaker
Boosojineun nae mam ani no obshin
Jami ojil anha Need you by me
Non naui namja (waenyagoo?)
No man could ever freak you the way I do
Hwaga na gaseumi apawa nan chameul sooga obso

Noneun nomu nomu nomu nappo ~
Namgyojin jonhwa meshiji
Naneun naneun naneun nomu apo ~
Shipuhrohge mongdeun gaseum
Dan han gajiman aradwo ~
Ee sesang modeun yuhja geu joonge
No hanamaneul saranghaeddon nareul

[CHORUS]
(Ijen) Nan arayo ee bami heureumyuhn
Geudae nal ddonandaneun goseul (naneun aro)
(Ijen) Nan arayo ee bami heureumyuhn
Geudael doo bon dashi bol soo obdaneun gol ara

(Geudae) Wae mollayo nae mameul mollayo
Geudaebakke molladdon sarang
(Geudae) Wae mollayo jinshirhan nae mameul
Naneun ojik geudaemaneul saranghaessojjanha

like this And it's who? S-E-V-E-N

this song has been playin around in my head for quite a while now... i got the video first... then i finally got the mp3.. its a terrific song when u understand it... somehow we know when things are not the way they used to be.... it always goes like this..

first u get the feeling....
next u'll start to see signs that things are not what it seems...
then the reality starts to show and sink in....

Lee Hyori - Get Ya'
romanization by: La'MISS:fairy (also credit: aheeyah.com)

Ojik shisoneun jjalbeun chimaro geuge dayuhjji
Noreul woomjigil naui noraero noreul bakkwobwa
Ee mudae wie nae moseubeul bwa
Dashi nae soomi chaoneun ee soonganeul
yah yah yah yah yah yah yah
Nol barago issuh jogeumsshik byuhnhaegassuh
Nal boneun shisondeul I'm gonna get ya
Non wonhago issuh nae choome noreul matgyuh
Naega nol woomjikyuh I'm gonna get ya

Ojik shisoneun deuronaen oggae ijen kkeutnassuh
Dareun nareul bwa nareul miduhbwa nareul jikyuhbwa
Ee mudae wie nae moseubeul bwa
Dashi nae soomi chaoneun ee soonganeul
yah yah yah yah yah yah yah
Nol borigo issuh oneureun ne mamdaero
Naega nol taekhaessuh I'm gonna get ya
Nol ikkeulgo issuh ne mameun nae mamdaero
Nae ane gadhyussuh I'm gonna get ya

What they say nuga mworaedo sanggwanobso nal wonhamyuhn
Nol barago issuh jogeumsshik byunhaegassuh
Nal boneun shisondeul I'm gonna get ya
Non wonhago issuh nae choome noreul matgyuh
Naega nol woomjikyuh I'm gonna get ya
Nol borigo issuh oneureun ne mamdaero
Naega nol taekhaessuh I'm gonna get ya
Nol ikkeulgo issuh ne mameun nae mamdaero
Nae ane gadhyussuh I'm gonna get ya

Get Ya'
translation by: bangku (also credit: aheeyah.com)

Right now you are only looking at my short skirt.
I see a change in the way you move to my song.
On top of this stage you see my face.
Again I catch my breath for a second.
yah yah yah yah yah yah yah
I'm wishing for you. Bit by bit change came.
You see my gazes. I'm gonna get ya
You are desiring me. You put trust in my dance.
I'm swaying you. I'm gonna get ya

Now you stop only looking at my bare shoulder.
You see me differently. You believe you see me. You stare at me.
On top of this stage you see my face.
Again I catch my breath for a second.
yah yah yah yah yah yah yah
I'm leaving you alone. Today, follow your heart.
I picked you. I'm gonna get ya
I'm leading you. Your heart follows mine.
You're shut inside me. I'm gonna get ya

What they say. Who or what has nothing to do with it. When you want me.
I'm wishing for you. Bit by bit change came.
You see my gazes. I'm gonna get ya
You are desiring me. You put trust in my dance.
I'm swaying you. I'm gonna get ya
I'm leaving you alone. Today, follow your heart.
I picked you. I'm gonna get ya
I'm leading you. Your heart follows mine.
You're shut inside me. I'm gonna get ya

this is another song thats been in my head.... girls have been quite a problem for me... u cant live with em, u cant live without them.... its not so much as i have trouble making frenz with them.. i've accumulated quite a few good female frenz.. its tryin to have a relationship with em thats drivin me nuts sometimes... i guess thats the way somethings go... one minute they're all over ya, the next they're avoiding u as if ur the plague! a fren once told me, "take it easy my fren, let life flow naturally. things come and go at a certain pace. all u can do is wait for it. but keep ur eyes open coz u might never know what could be infront of u!"..... this fren of mine has a knack of making a lot of sense when im totally clueless... and for that i'm eternally thankful.. at least someone can make sense of this chaos that we call life...

well thts my ramblings for now.... more to come!!! a dios!!

20th November 2006 (Baby I Like You Like That)

2006-10-19T22:47:00.000+08:00

man i dunno wats gotten into me... somehow i've become addicted to se7en and lee hyori songs.. its kinda creepy.. and somehow i've started to take a liking to dancing too.. copying se7en's dance moves.. hahaha i know i must look like crap but i still do it... haha my body feels stiff tho... might as well start exercisng and stretching my body every now and then.... i guess its worth the try... i've always wanted to learn how to dance... haha better late than never...

i've always been in awe of people who can actually dance... i've been to so many parties but i havent danced... not even once.. i know, i know thats so wierd right?

i tried a few moves yesterday and somehow it felt good... now i kinda get the idea of what i've been missing out all these years.... maybe i'll keep this up as a hobby... its one of the only things that relaxes me... so i might as well keep it up...

so for now i'll just keep on downloading dancing videos and try out the moves for now... hahaha... thats it for now peeps... a dios~~

3rd October 2006(Evolution Part IV - Its a Time For Action)

2006-10-03T01:13:00.000+08:00

well right now i have a lot on my mind.....

one is the biz project i'm negotiating... i knew there was goin to be alot to do but the authorities arent makin it easier for me.... i really really hate the beauracaracy crap they're giving me.....

the other thing is that once again i'm having mixed feelings on what i REALLY want to accomplish b4 i expire... sum ppl r just so damn pesimistic that they just dun believe in miracles... its kinda gettin on my nerves... they feel like they know everything but in true fact, they dont unless they have done it themselves.... even if they did, they give up and dun learn from their mistakes.... whats up with that?!

there r like a million opportunities in Brunei but they just dismiss it without considering it! i guess some people are just meant to stay the way they r for the rest of their life.... ppl keep on sayin that its hard to do this, hard to do that.... but hav they really tried it? nope! it sorta bothers me when i think about them.... they try to pin guilt on me for not being like them.... they make it seem like a sin to wanna try something new...

but i learned the hard way that opportunities r there when u r brave enuf to sieze them... i missed a lot of good things due to fear... brunei still has a lot of untapped potential that can be used... i consider it a blessing to this country that there r people in this country that have the guts to move forward and make something of themselves.. it shows that we bruneians are worth something... we bruneians are more than justs ppl who take things that we have now for granted...

where was that fire that we used to have? didnt one of our brunei sultan conqured most of south east asia? all of us have that spirit within us... all we have to do is tap into it....

i plan to take brunei into the future... to make it prosper as it did in the old days.... and there r ord like minded ppl around me... we seize the opportunities by the neck and choke it till we get it!!

actions speak louder than words... but combine action and words together, you will have something more... i thank god for giving me a mind, i thank god for giving me life.... i'm eternally grateful for it... and i wont just waste it.... god, give me strength to go through the obstacles in front of me... god, give me strength to do what i must do....

for those of you out there.... open ur mind... open ur heart... utilise ur mind... listen to ur heart... you only have one life to live... dun waste it... thank you for reading this....

1st October 2006(Evolution Part III-Blogging Lessons)

2006-10-02T02:56:00.000+08:00

people nowadays.... i read a few blogs during the past few weeks and i'm quite dissappointed actually.... some people just cant blog properly... i know this might sound arrogant but seriously, when i want to read someone's account of things, i want to be able to read it and understand it.... i dun want to read it and try to decifer the code in which it is written in.... some blogs are just so badly written that half the time i'm trying to understand what they're trying to say...... i mean really, i care enuf to read what they write but they just dun care enuf to actually make it readable.... and just for that, i've made a list of how to write a proper blog.....

it should contain understandable english and slangs
at least some form of structure is needed , haphazard writing should be avoided
some use of grammar would be preferrable
try to organize the blog into sections or just break them up so that they can be read easily
dont clutter your posts with too many symbols or item

for examples in writing a good blog, i suggest you guys refer to my friends blogs, sham @ NEO or Ali... they've got really nice blogs as far as i can see.. you can find em in my friendster list.... well thats it for now

20th September 2006 (Evolution Part II - Lonely in Gorgeous~~)

2006-09-20T13:06:00.000+08:00

well well well... part II of the blog..... sorry it took too long... hahaha! i discovered a new thing i like.... its an anime on tv right now.. paradise kiss... my taste in anime is very... how can i out it.... peculiar... very few animes catch my attention.. and this one has gotten me hooked... it was the theme song that got me interested... lonely in gorgeous by Tommy February6..... some people might think the anime strange but it has some thing that caught my attention... i still dont know what it is..... here are the lyrics of the song...

Lonely in Gorgeous - Tommy February6

Gozen reiji, tobidashita

Tobira wo ketobashite

Garasu no kutsu ga warete

Doresu mo yabureta

Nee akirete iru n' deshou?

Oikaketemo konai

Namida ga afurete

Mou hashirenai wa...

Jerashii kamo... se-tsu-na-i...!!

"Lonely in Gorgeous" Yeah...

Party night...I'm Breaking my heart

Imasugu mitsukete dakishimete hoshii

Heddoraito ga hikaru

...where are you Bad boy?

Ai no Sukaafu de namida wo fuite

Nani mo mienai

Hoshikuzu wo kakiatsume

Anata ni butsuketai

Naze kamau no?

Jibun shika ai senai kuse ni...

Shitsuren kamo... maji na no...?!

"Lonely in Gorgeous" Yeah...

Party time...umaranai

Anata ga inai to karappo na sekai

Yume no tsudzuki ga mitai

"I miss you Bad boy"

Kirameki no naka ni tojikomenaide

Kowarete shimau wa

"Lonely in Gorgeous"

I'm Breaking my heart

Where are you Bad boy?

"Lonely in Party night"

"Lonely in Gorgeous"

I'm Breaking my heart

I miss you Bad boy

"Lonely in Party time"

"Lonely in Gorgeous" Yeah...

Party night...waraenai

Nani mo iranai tada soba ni ite

"Lonely in Gorgeous" Yeah...

Party night...

I'm Breaking my heart

Anata ga nokoshita

Kirameki no hako no naka de

Kodoku wo daite ugokenai

Nani mo iranai no tada soba ni ite

Hizamazuite watashi wo mite

Ai wo chikatte

English translation:

At midnight, I rushed out

I kicked the door,

My glass slipper broke,

and I also tore my dress

Hey, it's disgusting, isn't it?

Even if I chase you, you won't come

Tears fill up my eyes

and I can't run anymore

Maybe it's jealousy... I'm s-a-d...!!

"Lonely in Gorgeous" Yeah...

Party night...I'm Breaking my heart

I want you to find me and hold me now

My headlights are shining

...where are you Bad boy?

I wipe away my tears with the scarf of love

and I can't see anything

I want to gather up the stardust

and throw them at you

Why should I care?

You can't love anyone but yourself...

Maybe it's heartbreak... For real...?!

"Lonely in Gorgeous" Yeah...

Party time...I won't bury it

When you're not here, it's an empty world

I want to see the continuation of the dream

"I miss you Bad boy"

I won't be locked up in the glitter,

I'll break it down

"Lonely in Gorgeous"

I'm Breaking my heart

Where are you Bad boy?

"Lonely in Party night"

"Lonely in Gorgeous"

I'm Breaking my heart

I miss you Bad boy

"Lonely in Party time"

"Lonely in Gorgeous" Yeah...

Party night...I can't laugh

I don't need anything, just stay by my side

"Lonely in Gorgeous" Yeah...

Party night...

I'm Breaking my heart

In the sparkling box

You left behind,

I held my loneliness and can't move

I don't need anything, just stay by my side

Get down on your knees, look at me,

and swear you love me.

Tommy is actually a girl.. very cute i must say for a girl who styles herself as a nerd.... hahaha that sounds so perverted....

anyway, my life has definitely changed quite a bit over the past few weeks... and i kno there are more changes to come soon... talked to a friend of mine a couple of days ago on MSN... he said to me "you better get yourself a girl quick man".... to most people that might sound like peer pressure but its not... he knows what im goin thru.... amidst all the work and projects, i've sort of forgotten about girls.... the loneliness is still there but with me being preoccupied with other things, its been set aside... but i kno that once i have free time, the loneliness will start to kick in..... sigh.... at the moment, all i can do is keep my eyes open.... with the waythings are going now, i dont know what is in store for me in the future... so well just wait and see...

my friend and i began to talk about the projects i'm doing and i just found out that i can actually help his dad out.... at this moment in time, i'm still in negotiations but truth be told i know its a done deal... i have to keep my chin up, back straight and move forward..... take nomore bullshit or crap from any posers.... a lot of people are counting on me.... cant let anything take my focus away... i have to be..... fearless.....

Jay Chou
Huo Yuan Chia(Fearless)

he ming you ji hui he

lei tai deng zhe
sheng si zhuang
ying liao shen me

leng xiao zhe
tian xia shui de
di yi you ru he
zhi gan ge
wo bei shang wu de

wo de
quan jiao liao de
que nai he
tu zeng xu ming yi ge
jiang hu nan ce
shui shi qiang zhe
shui zheng yi tong wu lin de zi ge

xiao cheng li sui yue liu guo qu
qing che de yong qi
xi di guo de hui yi
wo ji de ni
jiao ao de huo xia qu

huo huo huo huo
huo huo huo huo
huo jia quan de tao lu zhao shi ling huo

wo wo wo wo
wo wo wo wo

huo zhe sheng ming jiu gai wan zheng du guo

wo wo wo wo
wo wo wo wo

guo cuo ruan ruo cong lai bu shu yu wo

huo huo huo huo
huo huo huo huo

wo men jing wu chu shou wu ren neng duo

.................................................................................................................... i have no more stuff to say now......... well ppl... thats the end of part II.... to be continued.....

16th September 2006(Evolution)

2006-09-16T00:52:00.000+08:00

hello peeps..... i dunno why i'm writing right now..... all my other posts were written for a reason.... i couldnt even decide wat title to put on this one... so i just put a name of a song by ayumi hamasaki...

i dont know what i'm feeling right now.... shud i continue writing this? maybe.... there's something that i cant put my finger on thats bugging me..... and i've been contemplating this for quite a while... remember me saying about da void in my soul?? right now i'm not sure wat it wants right now.... everyday passes, with stuff to do but ........ i wonder sometimes....... is this wat i want? am i fulfilling my purpose or someone else's purpose? i've got my friends.... i've got my money... i've got material things.... i've got dreams.... but in the end..... is that all? there's got to be more to life than just living and then dying..... i kno i might sound like i'm talking nonsense but.... thats wat i feel right now.... to tell u da truth..... i want to die..... haha dont worry! i'm not suicidal but i wonder about wat happens after you die.... is there really something waiting for me there? there's talk of heaven and hell... there's talk of reincarnation... maybe wat i'm feeling right now is one of those phases that people go thru at least once in their life... the feeling of unfulfillment.... the disatisfaction of just merely living..... had a talk a few days ago with my friend about life in general.... what he said got me thinking about my life, what i've done and my plans.... he said life is full of uncertainty.... all u can do is make the most of it and take in the good.... u cant judge people from just one point of view... people are unpredictable... people can hurt others... people can make others happy.... sigh..... at this moment in time, i believe in god..... i really do... this is the only certain thing i know.... people may mock or be surprised at the changes they see... its understandable... people judge u from your past actions... they dont know what i'm going thru right now... only 2 know... my friend and god..... he was quite surprised to hear it..... he knows wat i must do.... wat i can do is evolve.... hah! i'm taking the title into account now... yes... evolution.... i need to become more than just human... not a god but just more.... i want to break free from my constraints that i have right now..... i still yet to achieve freedom in my perspective... hah, i might sound like a blasphemer.... talking about beeing something more than wat god has created himself.... but in the book of god it also says that god is all giving to his servants.... so maybe it is possible.........

well i gtg.... got to do stufff.... part 1 complete... still more to do.... see ya for now...

10th September 2006 (Play that funky music white boy!!)

2006-09-10T04:41:00.000+08:00

yes you read the title right... found an old cd amongst some of my newer cd collections... "songs from ping's laptop" was engraved in white-out on the top of da cd... hehe... so being curious as ever, i popped da cd in and lo and behold, this song gets played!!! i forgot how fun this song was!! me and ajib actually made a theme song for lei with this song!!

Play that funky music

Yeah hey
Hey

Once there was a boogie singer
Playing in a rock and roll band
I never had no problems, yeah
burnin'out the one night stands
And everything around me
Got to start to feeling so low
And I decied quickly, yes is did
To disco down and check out this show

Yeah there was dancing
And singing
And moving to the grooving
And just when it hit me
Somebody turned around
And shouted

Play that funky music white boy
Play that funky music right
Play that funky music white boy
Lay down the boogie and play that funky music til you die
Til you die?
(Yeah)
Oh til you die

I tried to understand this
I thought that they where out of their minds
How could I be so foolish, how could I
To not see I was the one behind
So still I kept on fighting
Loosing every step of the way
(And what you do?)
I said I must go back there, got to go back
And check to see if things still the same

Yeah there were dancing
And singing
And moving to the grooving
And just when it hit me
Somebody turned around
And shouted

Play that funky music white boy
Play that funky music right
Play that funky music white boy
Lay down the boogie and wear that funky music til you die
Til you die?
(Yeah)
Oh til you die

Hey, wait a minute
Now first it wasnâ€™t easy
Changing rock and roll and minds
And things where getting shaky
I thought I had to leave it behind
Now its so much better, itâ€™s so much better
Iâ€™m funkying out in every way
But Iâ€™ll never lose that feeling, no I wonâ€™t
On how I learned my lesson that day

Yeah there were dancing
And singing
And moving to the grooving
And just when it hit me
Somebody turned around
And shouted

Play that funky music white boy
Play that funky music right
Play that funky music white boy
Lay down the boogie and play that funky music til you die
Til you die?
(Yeah)
Oh til you die

Thay shouted
Play that funky music
Play that funky music
Play that funky music
Play that funky music

Play that funky music white boy
Play that funky music right
Play that funky music white boy
Play that funky music right
Play that funky music white boy

hahahahaha!!!! this song still sounds good!!! played this song over and over in da car as loud as i could!! tapping my fingers, movin to the beat and singing along... i got weird looks from the people in the other cars but who cares!! and they were dancin, and singing, and movin to the grooving, and just when it hit me, somebody turned around and shouted, play that funky music white boy!~~~~~~ huahahahahahaha!!!!!

dat was the first time in weeks i was actually enjoying a song...... most of the songs that i listen to r like fast and loud... its kinda nice to go old school once in a while.... hehehe!!! i'll be playin this song for a good while in my car....

a good few hours ago, i had a chat with a very old friend of mine... turns out he's been readin my blogs (yay!) and checkin up on the stuff happenin back here... apparently, some of my blogs r so mixed up that he got some of the facts of my stories wrong... for the rest of you unknown readers out there, please leave comments if you find my blogs hard to follow.... i luvveeeeeee comments.... hahaha!!! makes me feel that i'm actually contributing something by writing these posts...

for this post i'm gonna steer away from my love life and write about other stuff thats been goin on... frankly i'm kinda sick and tired of writing about it, it doesnt make me feel any better.... so might as well just forget bout it for now... anyway~~~~

i have been officially appointed as....*drum roll* president of the bowling club!!!! unfortunately, due to the upcoming festivities and ramadhan, i shall have to postpone any activities till next semester... but i will hold a get together for new and old AJKS at bowling utama this sem... just need to figure out when.. lol!

i'm sooo glad i decided to stick around in brunei... even tho i'm gonna miss my classmates who r going off to UK in a few days, the new friends i made will somehow compensate for them.... class has been somehow extremely fun!! basically, for the first time in uni ever, i am liking wat i'm learning!!! financial management, business research methods, MIT, programming and business systems analysis!! i get to go back to wat i loved to do as a kid, learning about business and workin on computers!! programming class was a breeze!! VB is soooo easy nowadays... last time i did VB was when i was 17 and it was using the old software... now its damn easy... hahaha!!! BSA isnt too hard too, since most of the stuff in da course i've learned while i was in JIS!!! business reasearch methods was a tricky one at first but somehow i managed to get a solid picture of what the lecturer wants me to learn... financial management is sooo muchhhh funnnnnn!!! the lecturer's way of teaching is soo similar to a friend of mine.. hehehe!!! besides, i get to swear in his class!!! huahaha!!! MIT... need i say more??? its basically FIS and MIS rolled into 1... *yawn* been there, done that!!

there's this quote that one of my lecturers imparted with me in a lecture, "unlearn the past, invent the future"..... i've been reading thru my older blogs... i sounded like a freakin brat!! its to late to delete the posts anyway so i just keep them as a reminder of how stupid and foolish i was back then.... a very painful reminder.... with the words of wisdom imparted upon me, i shall unlearn my past and invent my future... there is so much us humans can do when we put our heart and soul into it... truth be told, humans are capable of changing... it just takes time... dats all.... i used to think i was already mature... but i was wrong.... even at this moment in time, i dont think i'm mature yet... maturity is a state of mind... its not dependent on age, gender or anythin... its hard to explain, yet easily recogniseable....

well..... i'm beat.... besides i'm fasting rite now.. hahaha.. well, its off to bed now!!!! hahahahah!!!!! thats it people, party is over!!!! adios!!

28th August 2006 (The Dilemma)

2006-08-28T23:29:00.000+08:00

i'm at crossroads..... or maybe its the shisha gettin to my head..... lol! but seriously.... i bet you ppl must have experienced what i'm experiencing rite now.... the sense of elation of seeing someone even if its just a name on a screen... even for a few seconds.... the sense of anticipation of the next time you cross paths.... the enigma of online based relationships.... close yet far... intimitate yet vague.... well its happened to me... i dunno how and why but its happened....

it all started off with just a friendly game among strangers..... a meeting of chance.... we soon started to talk more... played more games... departed after exchanging contacts... thought nothing of it.... no harm done right? what are the chances of meeting up and talking again? very slim.. but it happened... we played again... this time for a long period.... a lot more talking... a lot more laughs... it must have been at least 5 hours that we played... maybe it was more.. i couldnt feel the time... it just wizzed by.... after the fourth time..... things got serious.... we continued playin together.... even though my friends and ger friends were around and calling us for a game... we went on our way... it was strange at first but it soon felt soooo right... we became a great combination.... when playing with others around we showed our best game but between ourselves, we just relaxed and had fun.... even though we havent meet face to face, we felt like we know each other well enough... whenever the other is online, it only takes a few seconds before a simple "hi!" pops up... she went online just to look for me.. and so did i.... then she did something out of the blue... she saw that my character didnt have much items to show for, so she gave me a gift... quite an expensive gift... it caught me by surprise.... all i could say was thank you... to most people, that would have been the end of it... she would have just disappeared or completely ignored me most of the time.... but.... it still went on.... she gave me the gift on saturday and said she'll see me next friday..... but on monday... she went online at her cousin's house, even though she didnt need to, and came looking for me for a few games.... luckily i just signed in at the same time... her presence caught me by surprise... but alas, i had to decline because i had things to do... secretly i wished i didnt have to go but, duty calls... when i finally finished, i went back online to look for her but to no avail... she went offline.... but she left a msg behind, "i'll see you this friday ya?? bye2!!"..... haiiiiiii........ why cant i wait??? i cant even be bothered to play games without her around....

the gift.... the attention.... is it all just plain... friendship? maybe... being a pessimist myself, i cant see any of this meaning anything.... a part of me want to believe.... is it wrong??? thats the dilemma....

"Can't Wait" - Yuki Hsu & Yoo Seung Jun

When I hear your voice over the line.
All I wanna do is to keep you on my mind.
I only had one thought. How long?

Don't wanna play the fool.
How did we end up like this baby?
Just wanna play it cool.
I knew I'd always promise.
Won't you tell me baby boo what you want what you need maybe,
I'll be the one that you need till I die baby.
Let me tell you about the things that you don't realize,
so let me televize my love so you can fantasize.
Conjuction-Function but look at the situation.
Don't waste time let's have a conversation.
It's kind of sad but that's our only option.
Let's keep it down low till I get there uh

Yuki :
Lian er duo dou zhong la
hua shuo tai duo sheng yin dou ya le
bao zhe dian hua you dian ai kun hai she bu de gua

Yeah,that's how it is ,as I keep on reminess,
you know I keep it real oh yes
we've got to deal with this, but I'm sick of this, bullshit
acting stupid for the Show-biz Gee-whiz
but wait I'll be there, when I'm done with this

Yuki :
Wo zuo tian shui tai wan xiang ni xiang dao san dian ban
zao shang cong cong mang mang wang de wang xing guo de yi tuan luan
hen rong yi bu nai fan
zong xian shi zhong zou de na me man
xiang you ping chang xin tan lian ai you dian nan

Xian zai jiu xiang ma shang jian dao ni jiu xiang ma shang kao zhe ni
bie shuo yi tian jiu lian yi miao dou kuai deng bu ji
ni shuo ni ye ke wang jiang re qing zu yi suo huo jian na kuai di
sui ran kua zhang hai shi gan jue tian mi mi

My heart is always with you even though we're apart baby.
I know you're sad and blue but that can't take us apart.
Get away from the dark baby come and see the light.
Yuki,in my dream I could with in my Mitsubishi.
But times going, going are gone it's gone
like the wind that can't stop, but stop not at the bus stop,
you and my drop top.
Yeah put time in lock.That's right.
You and me baby messing around in the parking lot.

Xiang zhu wo

Don't wake me up.
Take the time to explain my mind ???

Gen zhu wo

You so fine I wanna make you mine

Zhi xiang yong yuan zai yi qi

Can you be with me?
Live in luxury,and we be making precious history.
I keep your picture by my bed so I can know you're in my head.
Take my hand by your hand,and I will always be your man.
You gotta trust in me like I would trust in you,
Baby close your eyes and my love will see you through.

Yuki :
Zong you ren bu xian fan
zhao ni you guo lai da shan
mei ci dou hui rang wo te bie xiang ni jue de hao gu dan
yao yuan de ju li jiu you bu an duo zai xin li zhuan
jin ye yue liang wan wan xin qing you dian lan

Xian zai jiu xiang ma shang jian dao ni jiu xiang ma shang bao zhe ni
bie shuo yi tian jiu lian yi miao dou kuai deng bu ji
deng dai dui ai lai shuo xiang ku xi
que yong you shen qi de mo li ta
hao rang jian mian zai tian ye dou bu hui mi

If you keep this in your mind, we will make it through this time.
You will find, it's a sign, it's written in my rhyme.
Even though we are apart, you are always in my heart.
Honey stay with me forever and through any thing endeavor.
Can we make it through this phase,
I will see you through this maze.
If you put your faith in me,happy ending it will be.
That's a promise Yuki,have a little patience,
and in time, you'll see.

hhmmmmm................ even i myself is unsure of hat is going to happen in the future.... in my last post i mentioned a new chapter, a new beginning... the girl in that post has not said or done anything.... am i to blame? i suppose yes.... but its still left to time... only time can tell... on one hand, there's this blossoming friendship... on the other hand, there's this fading, almost non existent relationship... which would you choose???

Ni Bu Zai (You Are Not Here)

Dang shi jie zhi sheng xia zhe chuang tou deng
Ni na bian shi zao chen yi jing chu men
Wo ce shen gan dao ni zai zhuan shen
Wu shu mo shen ren
Zheng zai deng xia yi ge lu deng
Yi zai cuo shi bi ci cui ruo de shi fen
Bu guo ke wang yi ge wen de yu wen
Wo guan le deng
Hei an ba wo bing tun

Ni bu zai
Dang wo zui xu yao ai
Ni que bu zai
Wu ji deng dai xiang du bai de nan ai

Ni bu zai
Gao xing hai shi bei ai
Ni dou bu zai
Wo shou le shang zai tou tou hao qi lai
Dan ni bu zai
Bu zai

Shi jian zai an xia xu duo ci kuai men
Chen muo li ting jian zhuan dong de miao zhen
Yi ge ren chi fan zhe ge qing chen
Gu du yi ren fen
Ni di shen shuo ni you bie ren
Wo de hua tong zhi you zi ji de ti wen
Zen yang ren zhen ye bu yi ding cheng zhen
Ni shuo de dui
Wo bu de bu cheng ren

Na xie yao bai
Wo dou ming bai
Dou ming bai
Dan ni bu zai
Ai yi bu zai
Bu zai

Ni bu zai
Dang wo zui xu yao ai
Ni que bu zai
Yi ge ren fen shi liang jiao de lian ai

Ni bu zai
Gao xing hai shi bei ai
Ni dou bu zai

Xiang kong qi ban bu cun zai de cun zai
Zai mei you hen ji de ai
Ni bu zai
Dang wo xu yao ni de ai
Ni bu zai

You are not here..... thats why this has happened... i'm being pulled away... is this what you want?!?! misscalls are not replied, eye contact avoided....... again, only time can tell..... its not your choice, mine or anyone..... all we can do is wait......... if it were up to me i'd rather stay with you dear...... hmmmmmm....... time moves slowly for those who wait...... and i have been waiting for a long time........ my god..... why is this happening to me....... please... i beg of you... please give me peace of heart, mind and soul.... i feel that i dont have much time left in this world..... its the feeling that only the individual themselves can feel..... please.........

26th August 2006 "I'm fed up!"

2006-08-26T00:37:00.000+08:00

i'm fed up.... thats the title of a song by a french singer, Alizee... in french they say j'en ai marre... listening to it, it gave me some truth about somethings in my life.... the song is sang for and meant for girls... here's the full lyrics of it..

Bubbles and water
Legs up for hours
My goldfish is under me
To bathe for hours
Makes my mouth water
I’m “foamely” ecstatic

It’s not a problem
I lazy ‘round
Bubbly and stubborn
I lazy ‘round
Melon and water
Is just a dream
It makes me wonder
Is it a “sin” ?

Bubbles and water
Legs up for hours
“Bombs”, you keep away from me!

Today lying low
Twisting up my toes
I swim in such harmony
So what bothers me:

Chorus :
I’m fed up with loneliness
With my uncle overstressed
Fumbling, crawling for something
That never shows, just a dream.
I’m fed up with creeps crying
Over the past, such a sin
Not to be cool, but a fool
If I could mess up their rules.
I’m fed up with your complaints
Baby, well I’m not a saint!
Fed up with the rain, the plane…
That makes me throw up again.
I’m fed up with all cynics
Bathing caps and all critics
I’m fed up with being fed up! Poor me !

Bubbles and water
Legs up for hours
My goldfish still under me!
Delight of pleasures
Aquatic treasures
A place out of misery, my fantasy

Chorus :
I’m fed up with loneliness
With my uncle overstressed
Fumbling, crawling for something
That never shows, just a dream.
I’m fed up with creeps crying
Over the past, such a sin
Not to be cool, but a fool
If I could mess up their rules.
I’m fed up with your complaints
Baby, well I’m not a saint!
Fed up with the rain, the plane…
That makes me throw up again.
I’m fed up with all cynics
Bathing caps and all critics
I’m fed up with being fed up! Poor me !

I’m fed up with loneliness
With my uncle overstressed
Fumbling, crawling for something
That never shows, just a dream.
I’m fed up with creeps crying
Over the past, such a sin
Not to be cool, but a fool
If I could mess up their rules.
I’m fed up with your complaints
Baby, well I’m not a saint!
Fed up with the rain, the plane…
That makes me throw up again.
I’m fed up with all cynics
Bathing caps and all critics
I’m fed up with being fed up!

well, at first glance it might seem like a very dirty song... to be honest, i practically laughed when i heard the english version of this song.. the french one sounded nicer but since i was curious of what she was singing about... well you get the picture.... lol! for all of you out there who cant be bother to contemplate what i meant about the truths about this song... it would be my pleasure to enlighten you... the important piece of the song is the chorus... notice that the chorus is sang over and over? once you read it over, its not that hard to realise the meaning of it... i'm fed up with being fed up.... its about someone who is fed up with people judging, criticising, forcing someone to do things that they dont want to... its also about being able to be who you are and making people understand that you are what you are.... nothing could change that.... unless god wills it....

for all of you who were curios enough to check this song out... the video is pretty sexy and hot... i mean seriously hot.... turns out this girl alizee is actually quite young and quite married at the age of 22...with one kid mind you... what makes it even wierder is that a fren of mine did mention her name to me a few years back... quite a coincedence eh?

even though the song is clearly meant for girls, i cant help but feel that i have the same point of view... why do people criticise? why do people judge? why do people force? is it our nature to have that sort of tendencies towards others? why do we tend to try our best to affect others to bend to our will?? i've met and known people who are like that... they live by the rule "its my way or the highway"....their reasons for doing so? "do onto other before it is done onto you".... so does that mean, you must do harm to other before they can do harm to you?? thats a question no one can answer... humans are very complicated creatures... some people do the darnest things to get attention... the stunt done onto me left me speechless... i still cant comprehend her feelings... is it mere coincedence? i hope so... i dont like being the cause of pain... it weighs on my soul like an anchor... bringing me down...the seven sins.. superbia (hubris/pride), avaritia (avarice/greed), luxuria (extravagance, later lust), invidia (envy), gula (gluttony), ira (wrath), and acedia (sloth)... i've done my best to curb these from myself... being reserved.. as my mother would say, " dont be so kepoh about other people! mind your own business!".... i try to keep my nose clean.... when people are busy doing something or are with someone, i leave them be... turns out some people get the wrong picture... they tend to label me as being cold, hostile, offensive.... it cant be helped no matter how much i try.... we are human, thus we act like so....

my life now, is pretty calm.... managable responsibilities... relaxed life... however there is still an emptyness inside of me... a longing as some people would describe it... the need to have someone special in your life... its the kind of thing that cant be ignored cause it will literally eat your soul... some people say i'm too picky... i have to agree with them... when i dont the slightest feeling of love for them, it would just be a kind of torture for both sides... knowing that that person doesnt love you and the fact that that person is in love with someone else... i'm the kind of person who would do anything for that special person... not caring the price or suffering i have to go thru... the greatest gift i can give is my undivided attention.. not money, not luxury... i have a confession to make, here and now.... the reason why i left my ex was because she didnt want my attention... she was in pain of a headache.. i wanted to comfort her and help ease the pain anyway i can... but... she brushed me off.. when i got close she just ran away from me... imagine the one you care about practically running away from you and strongly refusing your help... now imagine that happening 3 times in a row... thats what happened.... i couldnt take it.. so, i broke it off... some people thought it was harsh.. even my mother thought so... but when you think about, if this is going to happen often in the future, which option would you choose?? living together, knowing that problems like this will be recurring and being powerless against it? i would suppose you could choose a fate other than that.... however, thats not to say that she was the only one at fault.... i too was at fault... my method of breaking up with her was harsh... i gave her the coldest treatment ever... i did not smile, i did not speak, i did not say hi, i did not do anything with her, towards her... nothing.... i can only imagine how bad i broke her heart... she wrote me a letter and included some pictures of us together.... i didnt read the letter for months nor did i look at the pictures.. all i could picture was her, running away from me.... everytime i saw that, rage boiled inside me.... finally, one of my frenz decided to open the letter and read it to me... out of impulse of rage, i burnt the letter and the pictures.... yes... i burnt them... stupid me... all i have left of our relationship was a shirt she gave me and a ring with an engraving on it... both gifts lost.... do i have regrets? yes i do, who wouldnt? she was a beautiful girl but she was not destined to be with me... after breaking up and it still holds until now... i have not been able to have a serious relationship... i have some speculation as to what might cause it but i'm still not sure... hav i been cursed? maybe.. it is gods punishment for treating my ex? maybe... now the feeling of longing is gnawing at my soul..... me being unable to quench it.....

as i write these words on this page, i keep on thinking about things that have gone in the past... the brave things, the sweet things, the stupid things.... thinking about how i couldve done better at this or that.... thinking about how i couldve prevented things from happening... thinking about the different life i would lead.... my times of need, my times of joy, my times of sadness.... these past few days have been very eventful... there is a special someone out there that made me write this post.... have i caused you pain?? have i been cold to you?? i dont mean to be like that!!! even now i'm still unsure whether or not it is really my fault... the truth is... i'm scared and angry at the sametime... angry at the fact that you didnt tell me in my face... scared of the fact that it is my fault to begin with.... the question is... do you want me, or dont you? i still want you and i always will.... the proof? i've not tried to or attempted to go out with another girl ever since i met you.... most of my frenz say its best to move on and i've tried.... god knows i've tried.... tried hanging out with more and more people.. i've tried not caring what you do and what your activities are.... but i still cant block you out... finally i just gave up blocking... gave up not thinking bout you...... i just cant... silently, i watch... this song reminds me of you...

You're just too good to be true
I can't keep my eyes off you
You feel like heaven to touch
I wanna hold you so much

At long last love has arrived
And I thank God I'm alive
You're just too good to be true
Can't take my eyes off you

Pardon the way that I stare
There's nothing else to compare
The sight of you makes me weak
There are no words left to speak

But if you feel like I feel
Please let me know that it's real
You're just too good to be true
Can't take my eyes off you

I love you, baby
And if it's quite all right
I need you, baby
To warm the lonely nights
I love you, baby
Trust in me when I say
Oh, pretty baby
Don't bring me down, I pray
Oh, pretty baby
Now that I found you, stay
And let me love you, baby
Let me love you

You're just too good to be true
I can't keep my eyes off you
You feel like heaven to touch
I wanna hold you so much

At long last love has arrived
And I thank God I'm alive
You're just too good to be true
Can't take my eyes off you

I love you, baby
And if it's quite all right
I need you, baby
To warm the lonely nights
I love you, baby
Trust in me when I say
Oh, pretty baby
Don't bring me down, I pray
Oh, pretty baby
Now that I found this day
Let me love you, baby
Let me love you

to those of you who are curious as to who this girl is.... that i shall not reveal.... time will do that... its time to start a new chapter.... whether this girl wants to be a part of it or not is entirely up to her... there is a fair chance that she might be reading this.... considering that we know each other... if you are reading this, know this... it was you who chose to remain frenz, i try to offer help anyway i can but most of the time it is refused, i try to get to know you but you refuse to talk, i gave misscalls but most of the time they're not returned, i gave msgs but they were not replied.... i'm constantly reminded of you... i need you... i've always needed you..... if this blog does not get aired, that would mean that i'm just too scared.. but if this blog does get published, that means i hope for the girl to give me a sign... anything... i want to be a part of her life... this post might be the corniest thing i've ever written EVER but thats just how i am.. a hopeless romantic... i hope to hear from you dear..... i really do.................................

*Chronicles of Lee Sheng Jun*

31st May 2011 [ faith, prayers and hope ]

Untitled 4

Untitled 3

Untitled 2

Untitled 1

6th June 2010 [ Girl's Don't Know ]

17th July 2009 (Harry Potter & Ice Age 3)

16th July 2009 (Club Foot & Insomnia)

16th July 2009 (Kokomo)

15th July 2009 (Snooker, Total, Taboo and Sultan's Birthday)

11th July 2009 (65th, 100 Coffees and Taboo)

7th July 2009 (Never & Forever)

5th July 2009 (Sky, Breakable, Overload II, Prototype, Bowling)

2nd July 2009 (Obsessive Stalkers, Old Friends, Marriage and Kids)

2nd July 2009 (Winter Song, All Love)

30th June 2009 (Weddings, 4107, The Way I Am)

26th June 2009 (Friends, Michael Jackson dies, The Mentalist)

25th June 2009 ( Transformers 2)

23rd June 2009 (Bicycle, Sunrise and the best day of your life)

21th June 2009 (Sephia,Lie, Matters of the heart and the mind)

15th June 2009 (The Platinum Rule, The Other 'You', Don't Trust Me)

12th June 2009 (Love is joy and pain together)

11th June 2009 (Your Call)

12th March 2009 (Kinda Girl For Me, This Is The Girl)

16th December 2008 (2008 Reflections)

7th December 2008 (Ikenai Taiyou, Tuo Diao and She Could Be You)

13th November 2008 (Wolf Like Me, Closer, You Are Mine, Truth about Feelings, A New Earth)

11th November 2008 (My Life As I Like It, Hana Kimi, Quantum of Solace, Colors, Energy, Above and Below and Holding Out For A Hero)

8th November 2008 (Jakarta, Your Guardian Angel, Friendship, Clothes and James Bond)

6th November 2008 (CV 2, CV 3, How I Met Your Mother and MinDef)

29th September 2008 (Red Rose and Cant Take My Eyes Off Of You)

25th September 2008 (BMW and Models)

24th September 2008 (Wallpapers and Cookies)

17th September 2008 (BMW 320i, License Plates, Loans, Deadlines, Hari Raya E-Cards, ICDL Exams and Crystals)

13th September 2008 (1st Video Attempt!!!)

12th September 2008 (Family Trees, Videos, Coyotes, Let Go, Water in The Face, Process Flows, Unexpected Changes and Shesha)

11th September 2008 (ICDL, Ruby on Rails, Ramadhan and 9-11)

4th September 2008 (Mac Book Pros and IMacs)

12th August 2008 (Lucky in Love)

7th August 2008 (Munajat Cinta & 08/08/08)

4th August 2008 (Everything)

2nd August 2008 (Drugs, Sex and........ Racial Differences!!)

19th July 2008 (Let The Past Lay Rest)

12th March 2007 (1 Week in Singapore)

30th January 2007 (New Old School, New Old Pains)

30th October 2006 (Nan Arayo!!)

Se7enNan Arayo

20th November 2006 (Baby I Like You Like That)

3rd October 2006(Evolution Part IV - Its a Time For Action)

1st October 2006(Evolution Part III-Blogging Lessons)

20th September 2006 (Evolution Part II - Lonely in Gorgeous~~)

Jay ChouHuo Yuan Chia(Fearless)

16th September 2006(Evolution)

10th September 2006 (Play that funky music white boy!!)

28th August 2006 (The Dilemma)

Ni Bu Zai (You Are Not Here)

26th August 2006 "I'm fed up!"

Chronicles of Lee Sheng Jun

Se7en
Nan Arayo

Jay Chou
Huo Yuan Chia(Fearless)