16 May 2005 (The Long Holiday)

*sigh*.... i cant beleive i've been in uni 4 a year ord... its like a dream u kno... its like waking up and realising that ur all grown up and cant do watever u like anymore... u've got work, responsibilities... *sigh*... now is da last day to stay at the hostel and i have to pack up my stuff... i've just realized dat i havent been home for quite a while now... ever since i've been at the hostel, i've only gone home 4 times (minus the december break)... i wonder how the house cat is... i've got 2 take his picture again.. hehehe.. he's so lovable... now i'll finally get 2 catch up on my tv shows on astro.. yay!!! discovery travel and living, here i come!!! if i cant go to places, at least i can see wat its like... i dunno how many of u out there (yes i mean u who's reading this right now!) reads any of this crap that i write but i thank you from the bottom of my heart.. no seriously, i mean it.. anyone who would take their time to read sum1 else's heart pourin blogs or postings has 2 be a good person.. yes yes u may dismiss it as curiousity or u wanted 2 see if u were mention or if ur just looking 4 gossip, deep down u kno dat u sorta feel wat the writer is feeling, their pain, happiness, anger, anguish... and for that i salute u all... 4 me it doesnt really matter if anyone reads any of this... this is the only place where i can pour out all my feelings, no censors... of course i do give discretion 4 somethings but most if not all of my postings here is 99.99% accurate and raw... just like sushi.... hehehe... to tell u da truth, i get this feelin dat some ppl cant seem 2 warm up 2 me 4 some reason... ah, maybe its jus me... this academic year has wizzed by in a flash.. but no matter how many people i meet, i still feel dat somethings missin.. its all fine and dandy meeting and making new frenz but i crave for a more deeper, meaningful relationship... ah, enough about this... geezz, i sound like an old sarcastic bastard.. crap.. i forgot wat i was goin 2 write next.. its so like me ya? its like the time i forgot to bring a dvd to a fren.. hahaha she had 2 wait till before the start of the of school break (in march or feb) before she got it.. she still hasnt returned it tho.. i forgot 2 ask.. oh well, its only a $3 dvd.. its not like i really need it back or somethin.. damn some people still have my stuff.. cds, shirts, notes, books... hahaha... well at least i can brag that i have possessions all over the world... yes!!! now i rememeber wat i wanted to write!!! i'm goin away peeps!!! not 2 the afterlife cause its way to early... i'm going home where the only contact with da outside world is thru astro... kidding... i just wont have time to write anymore until next semester... so dont be sad cause i'll recommend u something dat will keep u busy during my absence.. comics!!! download em at stoptazmo.com!!! there's like loads there so happy readin!!! since thats sorted out, lets continue with other matters... last night the most amazing thing happened... i kno how 2 play winning eleven!!! 4 those who dont know me, i suck at playin winning eleven.. i'm not joking.. i was so bad at it i lost to my uncle 7-0.. and he used nigeria... but last night i actually pressured some experienced player by almost winning!!!! yahoo!!! i'm so gonna practice playin it at home!!!! speakin of which i still have loads to pack up... mom pickin me up at 5pm some other... i wonder how i'll start writing my CV up.. i shoulda took note of the sample CV that H gave to chameleon... damn... i so need a job.. not because i actually need it but i just want more $ 2 spend!!! my lifestyle has so kicked up my expenses... i'm now labelled as a certified spendthrift... i kno, i kno, i should've been more careful, i should've not spend it on useless junk and yes i should try to remember how hard it is to get $.... but i cant help it!!! i have this urge 2 buy stuff just for the sake of havin it!!! no wonder my room is full of junk... i also hav the tendency of not throwing old stuff away... i have this bottle of perfume thats ord 9 years old!!! there's still like quite a lot of it left... god, i've got to learn to get a hold of myself... yes yes yes must get job, then get $, then spend $... hehehehe.... u kno i missed havin some1 special aroun.. i've been readin a profile on frenster and it touched me.. its been so long dat i'm afraid i cant give my all to dat person.. i feel dat dat certain part of me will slowly die off.. i'm afraid that my warmth to dat certain person will not be there.. some people say i'm 2 serious, i seem 2 angry... when u love someone, it shapes u.. it teaches u how to give comfort, how to give support, how to give it your all... in return u will receive the same.. its a beautiful thing... for me, it is no more... i've ord lost it.. instead i've taken to listening 2 da problem of others... there r people in this world who've really got it bad... trust me i kno.. believe it or not, quite a few ppl have confided and consulted me for advise, academic or personal.. so now i'm proposing an agreement 2 all of u who read this... since u have taken your time 2 read my postings, i, in turn will give up my time 2 listen 2 your woes.. thats right, i can be your confidant.. u can tell or ask me anything u like and i'll promise i'll keep it a secret.. some people say i should charge 4 my services but i choose not 2 because if everyone had 2 pay 2 get someone to listen 2 them, people who cant afford 2 will be neglected... i've made a lot of mistekes in my lifetime... 2 many in fact... i grew up with out havin someone who i can talk to, tell all my secrets, share all my woes and happiness... but someone saved me... a total stranger, who listened without judging, without bias, without discrimination... so now i'm returning da favor back... i'm all ears to all of u.... i'll try 2 be there whenever u need me... thats a promise... well peeps i gtg.. got stuff to pack and things to do... adios... bless u all... see ya whenever i get back!!!!!

4 May 2005 (Happiness)

these past few days have been a whirlwind of wierd but delightful events... both N and i have realised something.. we're both falling for each other.. 4 those who know us, its a very unlikely event... i dunno how it happened.. first she asked me if a girl was 2 tell me dat she's falling for me, wat would i say and do... u see for the past few days i've been thinkin whether or not i am falling for her.. da funny thing was i was going to ask her the same question.. anyway, i told her dat it would depend on who it was and then i asked her wat would she do and say if the same thing happened to her.. well wouldnt u kno it her answer was the same as mine.. then i asked her why did she me dat question and was she thinking about the same thing.. and yes she was.. so the both of us we're thinking bout the same thing but she got 2 me first since i didnt have much cred... hahaha.. regardless of wat happened, last night we talked on the phone again.. it kinda felt ackward at first.. there were moments of silence.. i was thinking of breakin the ice but somehow she got 2 it first.. then we started talking bout stupid stuff but then our conversation somehow got serious.. last night we were practically flirting and getting to know each other... my god!! if chameleon or Z or anyone found out, they're gonna freak!! they're gonna be so like " i told u so!!"... then we started to talk about how we like to treat our spouses and other stuff which is 2 explicit to mention on this page... finally both of us decided that we wouldnt mention this 2 anyone.. N is probably talkin 2 chameleon rigggghhhttt nnnnooooowwwww.... but for wat its worth, i actually feel happy... i have no regrets... well its still 2 early to be sure of anything but this relationship is gonna get interesting... hehehe... well i guess dats it peeps!! adios!!!

28 April 2005 (The Quickening)

its been a while since my last post.. i've been a very busy bee.. my jap oral exam (sounds dodgy doesnt it?) went extremely well despite my early nervousness.. completed my jap assignment and handed it in on da same day.. then it started.. first N texted me sayin dat ST had gotten married last month.. big surprise!!! she didnt expected it, i didnt expected it.. it was just so sudden.. then we found out why he didnt reply da birthday text she sent him.. the msg contained 2 parts of 2 different msgs.. the upper part was right while the other half was CP's msg... wat a mess up!! Strike 1!!! then N got a birthday text from CP... they got talking but CP was being a jerk and acting childish.. she tried to explain wat was goin on cause she thought he'd want to kno since he is still da bf.. but turns out he was more interested in talkin bout his work probs and kept on changing da topic when she tried to talk about "them"... this just proves that he doesnt care.... it makes me think dat he got with her because she was goin 2 be a doctor n she's gonna earn big bucks... he wasnt even supportive n didnt wanna listen to her troubles n woes.. it makes me sick.. its just not humanly possible to do such a thing... Strike 2!!! N and i got talkin... we discussed bout the stuff dats happened and finally came with a few solutions... if she does receive bad news from da uni, its the last straw but at least she'll be home... she wants to dump CP but she cant come bout how since he's so stubborn n utter stupid... trust me he's so stupid, he couldnt see a dog even if it was right infront of him.. n since he owes her money (like $1500) i suppose she cant just dump him without gettin it back.. so i suggested her to forget da money, dump him and start off fresh and stay outta da game for a while.. u kno take a breather... i kno i'm not suppose to suggest such things but believe me, this guy definitely deserves it.. i pity the next girl who falls for him.. i wish i could just rid this world of him permanently for the sake of mankind... he made her cry so much its a wonder chameleon hasnt killed him yet... but chameleon doesnt know yet.. N asked me to break the news to her and Z... guess it aint gonna be pretty... well peeps, this story is to be continued another time... adios...

20th April 2005 (My SoulMate)

a lot of things has happened.. very wierd things... N and i have noticed that we have the same tendencies and not to mention the same behaviourial patterns.. whoa.. i just sounded like a 17 year old kid who was into psychology... which was me when i was 17 of course.. hahaha.. lets take 4 example last sunday, the 17th.. i was at chameleon's place doin work n i was msgin N at the same time.. suddenly i had the urge to lie down n take a nap.. when i woke up, N msged me sayin that she just woke up 2.. so we both slept at the same time and woke up around the sam etime as well.. coincidence? maybe.. lets take another time.. yesterday.. i was msgin her.. at that time i was lying on my bed, rolling around.. then i found out that she was doin the same thing while she was msgin with me! another coincidence? maybe.. how about last week when we were talking on the phone n both of us decided to rip the skin off our blisters? hhmmmm... it seems to me dat these coincidences are certainly not.. a coincidence.. then she brought up da possibility dat she's my soulmate..then i thought, yeah dat could be it... u kno it really funny n freaky at the same time to have sum1 who sometimes acts like u, thinks like u, speaks like u.. but most of the time it bloody funny!! hahahaha!!! well adios peeps... got stuff 2 do!!!

16 April 2005 (The Loneliness)

just when you think u can achieve something, something else comes up.. third place... we got 3rd place for the bowling tourney.. oh well, i suppose since we played like crap i suppose we deserve it.. hahaha.. ever since N when went back, we've been msg a lot n i mean a lot.. plus we've been talkin on the fone.. even though there's like a 7 hour time difference i still manage to be able 2 talk.. since i dun even go into class most of the time so its no big deal.. its been a long time since i've had a conversation with someone.. u kno the kind of conversation dat u pour your out wats in your heart n soul because u kno dat other person is willing to listen.. n in return they pour out theirs.. it like a mutual exchange.. sharing feelings help me cope with stress.. she feels the same way 2.. i guess we need each others support.. since we have certain things in common its pretty easy for us to talk bout stuff.. i kno she's goin through tough times.. school, relationships, life.. all of that is going to shit.. i didnt expect to ever warm up to her u kno? at first i thought wow she's in med school, she's goin 2 be a doctor, she has a boyfriend who loves her... the fact was her boyfriend treats her like crap.. since i found out about i cant stop thinkin dat in someways she's just like me.. she once told me dat all she wanted was happiness.. the freaky thing was i 2 just wanted happiness.. u kno some people take it for granted.. i've been through a lot of shit n i kno dat the most important thing in life, is happiness.. it doesnt really matter who u share it with.. its the thought dat counts.. so the both of us are really just tryin to make each other happy.. to make our loneliness disappear.. although i'm spendin a fortune msgin her, in the end its all worth it.. at least i'm not alone.. at least i'm happy.. adios...

9 April 2005 (Psyched)

i'm officially ready for the bowling tourney!!!!! with an average of 142 pins!!! woohooo!!! a lillte higher than that then i'm ready to play in big tourneys!!!!! i wonder if my parents will mind if i bought bowling gear... hmmmm... maybe yes but they'll accept it eaither way..... ahahaha wat a week... yesterday's practice session went well for me... not so well for Z and hyena... i'm tryin to figure out a way to get them psyched cause thats the only way they can do well... maybe a little music can do the trick... well i hope we do win this tourney... we've practiced a lot and we've improved so i think we have a chance... the problem now is i'm flat broke... btw to anyone who is reading this i'm selling my nike shox for $90.. only wore em twice, size 10 US and its water proof... i really need money for practice and the uniform... of well... R and i have getting really close lately.. she's really nice despite the slight age gap... we have this bond thats seems as if we know wat the other is thinking.. maybe we are two of a kind... but then again she's not my type... havin someone to talk to this past few days is a blessing... chameleon and N... my 2 blessings... i've spent most of my time with them and i've enjoyed every moment... thanks girls... bot of u r the best friends i could have.. not to mention the looniest 2!!!! but i still wish the original group would get together again like old times... me, hyena, Z and chameleon... roaming around, going out, hanging out... hyena and Z are movin in a different direction than me and chameleon... i guess its inevitable... but i hope we can be like the old times for a few more times if not at least once... just the 4 of us, the world at our feet, nothing too stupid, nothing to crazy and nothing to dangerous to do... well thats it for now... gonna go bowling with my blessings... yay!!! adios peeps!!!

6 April 2005 (The Flu)

i feel so sick i cant even see straight... with the work, bowling n other stuff to think about no wonder my head seems to pulsate more... hahaha shouldnt have slacked so much... but it cant be helped now.. exams are bout 3 weeks away n i'm no where close to understanding the crap i've been fed... i guess i wont be passing this semester... sigh... wish life would be much easier.. i wish i was a kid again... no worries... nothing much to think bout.. life was to be taken as it was.. sigh... kids nowadays... they dont know wats waiting for them... hahaha i cant wait for the day i see my little cousins scamper here and there to get their essay done in time... hahaha bowling practice went well... but my sore finger brought my average down last practice... crap... i need those things u wrap roun your fingers.... n a wrist band to stop my wrist from throwing the wrong way... hahaha wonky fingers... hahaha.. update on love life... i have none... its just sad really... why do i go after girls who r not right for me.... hahah its like a curse... its always the girls i dont want going after me instead... hahaha red bag!!!! hahahaha bowling tourney is a week away... goldfish finally joined with his team... i'm not worried.. my scores are more consistent than any of his or his teammates... the only 1 who hasnt practiced is hyena.... personally i wouldnt worry too much but somethings up... somethings amiss... well i'll find out sooner or later... chameleon n her sister are going to miri today to check for bowling gear.. i asked them to do a price check.. if its expensive there i'll just go to s'pore to buy the gear.. i heard in s'pore they have nicer n cheaper gear... my fever n flu has been drivin me nuts.. cant sleep right... cant eat right... cant think straight... jus writing this blog i made a few mistakes.... cant wait for the long holiday... but i still hav 2 go to ubd cause english starts in june... arrggghhh.... why?!?!?!?! i wanna work n rest n hangout with my frenz........ oh well.... guess dats it.. adios peeps...

5 April 2005 (Bowling Frenzy)

wat a week.... bowling practice, bowling practice, bowling practice... the good news is my average is getting higher!!!! the bad news is my fingers are so sore i can hardly type an sms... sigh... guess trade offs like dat happen often... on other things.... despite gettin misscalls from J which i have been dying to get... i didnt reply any of them... i dunno why... maybe its because she didnt answer my msg last friday... or maybe i've just realized that she's the kind of person who would lie through their teeth even though in the end it would hurt that person... i hate those kind of people... if you're reading this J, keep it in mind... crap, i'm suppose to be in class right now.. wat am i doing here writing this blog... maybe i jus wanna avoid J for the time being... maybe i dont really need her... well nonetheless if she needs me i'll be willing to do watever i can.. i'm just a msg away.... chameleon's sister is goin back to uk soon... i finally found out her age but i promised not to tell anyone.... well i guess thats it for now... Z n the rest must be looking for me by now.. adios peeps...

2 April 2005 (April's Fool)

another day, another story... chameleon has finally decided to break off with ah kit again.. but for how long... spending time with chameleon n her sis has been a blast this past few days.. great times.. some of my happiest times were with her... i dunno why i feel like that... maybe i've fallen?? who knows... even though i know she's not my type and i'm not hers, why do i have strong felings for her??? i guess its my loneliness is wats pulling me towards her... Z felt sorta left out since i've been goin out with chameleon a lot and making plans without her... but its all okay now... yesterday was april fools day.. somehow i forgot bout it... i got a call from kb yesterday... i didn't know who it was... i was havin a shower when my phone rang... then J miscalled out of the blue in the afternoon... then i found out from tikus dat the house call from kb was j's house number.. and when i msged her, no reply... wat is she tryin to pull... who cares.. i dunno wat 2 say anymore.. i'm so tired... i'm so sick of girls who cant decide on their feelings... well i gtg again... adios...

30 March 2005 (The Complete Make-Over)

hahaha it's been a few days since i've written up anything... been so busy with stuff.... had a complete make-over for my wardrobe and my hairstyle... its like so rad... i practically look chinese!!!! the only drawback would be the price tag for this change... i drained over $250 for it... i had 2 owe people some money... but overall i'm pretty satisfied with it... i would like 2 thank chameleon and her sister for taking their time to be my stylists... trust me, they're very good... hahahaha i've just done my IBE presentation a couple of hours ago... not many questions were asked since most of the guys promised not to ask... but some how fox brought up the really stupid question about domestic waste... trust me u dont wanna know... hahaha i kept myself busy to get my mind off somethings dat arent worth mentioning... oppss... i gtg... got jap class.. adios ppl...

26 March 2005 *The Awakening*

Muahahahahaha!!!!! i've finally created a REAL blog!!!! hhmmmm... wats the big deal anyway??? a blog.... is just a blog rite?? hahahaha i guess i'm sick of the friendster blog so i decided to kill some time and make a new one... lets get down to business shall we.. i msged J asking her wat she thought of me and her first impression of me... i've listened other peoples first impressions of me and they were quite shocking sometimes but i have 2 say hers was the most shocking as of yet.. ready to hear wat she said?!?! for those of you who've known me for quite a while, u may find this shocking as well... she described me as... quite a gentleman.... (pause to give way for hurls of puke).... and her first impression.... nothing special... (pause to give way for the secong wave of puke)... nothing special... dats odd... there's always something bout me worth noticing.. my thinness, my sometimes wacky hairstyle, my blue shades, my sometimes odd dress sense, my nose, my eyes.... at least something... but no.... she found nothing... oh well guess she's not the observant type... probably i wasn't worth taking notice of anyway... i wonder wat she's doin rite now... hhmmm... she says she's already settled with BH (which stands for bung hole)... but i think it wont be long before BH goes at it again... its his nature... of all the times when i shouldn't try to feel sorry for other people... i do feel sorry for them... guess dats my nature... if J just wants to be friends, i might as well start looking for other girls... guess she's got someone dat she wants... cant be dwelling on her all the time can we?? so lets move on!!!! the funniest thing happened last night.. we went to empire to catch a movie but robots wasnt showing so they (naga, buaya, garfield, jerung and goldfish) decided to watch miss congeniality 2 at the mall cause they thought it was 2 expensive at empire... little dat they knew dat at the mall its was the same price... so we ended up walking round the mall and eating at mister pizza... me and Z had a string of msgs dedicated to my laundry dat night... hahaha its funny really... you know... no matter how many times we think we're lonely, most of the time we're not actually lonely.... we've got friends dat care bout us, our parents, our siblings, our classmates... the only thing dat would be missing is dat someone special... someone dat you care bout who cares for you the same way... i thought i found dat someone but i was mistaken... guess i'll have to keep on looking.... i've been very picky at times but no more... i remember the old days... hahahaha well i guess this is it...... adios.... XP