another year, another birthday, a year older..... a year wiser?? hahaha i dont think so!!! :P to those who follow this blog, im going to singapore this march for my mid semester break!!!! thats the good news... the bad news is its a birthday present... from me to me!!! hahaha!!! oh well, like i always say, when u want something done, u gotta do it urself! and since ive been aching for a trip to singapore, i bought a ticket!! ahhh~~~ singapore~~~ a FINE city~~~ the country that cemented its image to the world as the country that banned chewing gum~~~ hmmmmmm maybe i'll sneak sum gum in!! sell em to the natives, gain their trust and then monopolise the market!!! wahahahaha!!!!
originally, i wanted to buy a new phone and a new 3g line.... however~~~ the phone that i wanted was not in stock in the country... and aparently its still expensive even tho its been released in 2005!!! when i tried to find a 2nd hand 1, there was no one willing to sell it to me!!! and i mean NO ONE!! and thats when i got fed up and upset that i decided to use the money for sumthin else.... something extravagant... something that would appease my suffering~~~ and finally thought "hey! i cud go to singapore!!" and the rest is history!!
since i'll be in singapore for exactly 1 week, i've laid out a rough plan of wat im gonna do there... with a few hundred dollars in hand~~~ theres so many things i can do!!!! the night life that ive craved!! the party scene!! the shopping!! being able to meet up wit friends i havent seen in years!!
first things first, i'll get myself a sim card. then i'll call up the guys to see if they can come out on the day that i arrive. and from there, who knows!! anything can happen to a guy in a foreign country!! i mean anything!!
now uni hasnt been a smooth ride either... i had to drop 1 course due to a timetable clash but at least i'll hav sumone to accompany me when i take it next year. 2nd year kids are not gettin on my nerves anymore... instead i find them to be a soothing presence during lectures and tutorials.. its a good change to see fresh new faces in my classes... although theyre only in 2nd year, i can ord see who will be the ones to stand out... luck for me they havent wised up enuf to stand me up!! wahahaha!!!
some things still get on my nerves no matter wat i tell ppl.... some objects have become a symbol that i consider to represent pure hatred and annoyance.... some things just cant change.. especially when in comes down to feelings.... hah i finally realised how someone i know felt about me... and how they kept that hatred for so long.... oh well... i just end up being a hypocrite... hahaha...
well all in all, i wish myself a happy belated birthday... and i thank myself for giving myself that trip to singapore... and i thank the ppl down at RC for the surprise bday party and the cake!!! hehe!! well thats it folks!! till next time!!
RaFaeL - Unlearn the past, Invent the future
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Sunday, October 29, 2006
30th October 2006 (Nan Arayo!!)
Se7en
Nan Arayo
(featuring: Teddy)Aye, straight up, there's only one boy that's holdin' it down
Yeah, ya'll already know who it is
(Guess who's back?) This time around,
We're gonna set the whole city on fire
(Ya boy is back) And you know who?
He's S-E-V-E-N, Get' Em!
Nareul irhoborin geudae shison
Machi dareun saramchorom boyo
Goodge oroborin geudae miso
Nae gaseumeun jongmal tojil gotman gata
Marhae bwa (modeun gol) mareul hae bwara
Nomogaryuhgo hajima
Doneun sogiryuh hajima
Hwaga na (modeun ge) nomu hwaga na
Uh ijeneun do isang chameul sooga obso
[CHORUS]
(Ijen) Nan arayo ee bami heureumyuhn
Geudae nal ddonandaneun goseul (naneun aro)
(Ijen) Nan arayo ee bami heureumyuhn
Geudael doo bon dashi bol soo obdaneun gol ara
(Ya boy is back to make ya break ya neck)
(Ya boy is back,) And it's who?
He's S-E-V-E-N
Doradanidon ni somoon
Midgo shipji anhjiman geudae mam ara
Naega boodami dwen saram
Nae gaseumeun jongmal tojil gotman gata
Ddonaga (ddonaga) geunyang ddonaga
Joheun yuhjareul mannaran
Niga joheun mal haji ma
Jalsara (jalsara) honja jalsara
Haneureul bomyuhnso noonmooreul heullyuhsso
Chameul sooga obso
[CHORUS]
(Ijen) Nan arayo ee bami heureumyuhn
Geudae nal ddonandaneun goseul (naneun aro)
(Ijen) Nan arayo ee bami heureumyuhn
Geudael doo bon dashi bol soo obdaneun gol ara
[RAP]
Idaero boryuhdoogo nal ddonagani
Don't walk away, please hold up, mommy
Heart breaker-breaker
Boosojineun nae mam ani no obshin
Jami ojil anha Need you by me
Non naui namja (waenyagoo?)
No man could ever freak you the way I do
Hwaga na gaseumi apawa nan chameul sooga obso
Noneun nomu nomu nomu nappo ~
Namgyojin jonhwa meshiji
Naneun naneun naneun nomu apo ~
Shipuhrohge mongdeun gaseum
Dan han gajiman aradwo ~
Ee sesang modeun yuhja geu joonge
No hanamaneul saranghaeddon nareul
[CHORUS]
(Ijen) Nan arayo ee bami heureumyuhn
Geudae nal ddonandaneun goseul (naneun aro)
(Ijen) Nan arayo ee bami heureumyuhn
Geudael doo bon dashi bol soo obdaneun gol ara
(Geudae) Wae mollayo nae mameul mollayo
Geudaebakke molladdon sarang
(Geudae) Wae mollayo jinshirhan nae mameul
Naneun ojik geudaemaneul saranghaessojjanha
like this And it's who? S-E-V-E-N
this song has been playin around in my head for quite a while now... i got the video first... then i finally got the mp3.. its a terrific song when u understand it... somehow we know when things are not the way they used to be.... it always goes like this..
first u get the feeling....
next u'll start to see signs that things are not what it seems...
then the reality starts to show and sink in....
Lee Hyori - Get Ya'
romanization by: La'MISS:fairy (also credit: aheeyah.com)
Ojik shisoneun jjalbeun chimaro geuge dayuhjji
Noreul woomjigil naui noraero noreul bakkwobwa
Ee mudae wie nae moseubeul bwa
Dashi nae soomi chaoneun ee soonganeul
yah yah yah yah yah yah yah
Nol barago issuh jogeumsshik byuhnhaegassuh
Nal boneun shisondeul I'm gonna get ya
Non wonhago issuh nae choome noreul matgyuh
Naega nol woomjikyuh I'm gonna get ya
Ojik shisoneun deuronaen oggae ijen kkeutnassuh
Dareun nareul bwa nareul miduhbwa nareul jikyuhbwa
Ee mudae wie nae moseubeul bwa
Dashi nae soomi chaoneun ee soonganeul
yah yah yah yah yah yah yah
Nol borigo issuh oneureun ne mamdaero
Naega nol taekhaessuh I'm gonna get ya
Nol ikkeulgo issuh ne mameun nae mamdaero
Nae ane gadhyussuh I'm gonna get ya
What they say nuga mworaedo sanggwanobso nal wonhamyuhn
Nol barago issuh jogeumsshik byunhaegassuh
Nal boneun shisondeul I'm gonna get ya
Non wonhago issuh nae choome noreul matgyuh
Naega nol woomjikyuh I'm gonna get ya
Nol borigo issuh oneureun ne mamdaero
Naega nol taekhaessuh I'm gonna get ya
Nol ikkeulgo issuh ne mameun nae mamdaero
Nae ane gadhyussuh I'm gonna get ya
translation by: bangku (also credit: aheeyah.com)
Right now you are only looking at my short skirt.
I see a change in the way you move to my song.
On top of this stage you see my face.
Again I catch my breath for a second.
yah yah yah yah yah yah yah
I'm wishing for you. Bit by bit change came.
You see my gazes. I'm gonna get ya
You are desiring me. You put trust in my dance.
I'm swaying you. I'm gonna get ya
Now you stop only looking at my bare shoulder.
You see me differently. You believe you see me. You stare at me.
On top of this stage you see my face.
Again I catch my breath for a second.
yah yah yah yah yah yah yah
I'm leaving you alone. Today, follow your heart.
I picked you. I'm gonna get ya
I'm leading you. Your heart follows mine.
You're shut inside me. I'm gonna get ya
What they say. Who or what has nothing to do with it. When you want me.
I'm wishing for you. Bit by bit change came.
You see my gazes. I'm gonna get ya
You are desiring me. You put trust in my dance.
I'm swaying you. I'm gonna get ya
I'm leaving you alone. Today, follow your heart.
I picked you. I'm gonna get ya
I'm leading you. Your heart follows mine.
You're shut inside me. I'm gonna get ya
well thts my ramblings for now.... more to come!!! a dios!!
Thursday, October 19, 2006
20th November 2006 (Baby I Like You Like That)
man i dunno wats gotten into me... somehow i've become addicted to se7en and lee hyori songs.. its kinda creepy.. and somehow i've started to take a liking to dancing too.. copying se7en's dance moves.. hahaha i know i must look like crap but i still do it... haha my body feels stiff tho... might as well start exercisng and stretching my body every now and then.... i guess its worth the try... i've always wanted to learn how to dance... haha better late than never...
i've always been in awe of people who can actually dance... i've been to so many parties but i havent danced... not even once.. i know, i know thats so wierd right?
i tried a few moves yesterday and somehow it felt good... now i kinda get the idea of what i've been missing out all these years.... maybe i'll keep this up as a hobby... its one of the only things that relaxes me... so i might as well keep it up...
so for now i'll just keep on downloading dancing videos and try out the moves for now... hahaha... thats it for now peeps... a dios~~
i've always been in awe of people who can actually dance... i've been to so many parties but i havent danced... not even once.. i know, i know thats so wierd right?
i tried a few moves yesterday and somehow it felt good... now i kinda get the idea of what i've been missing out all these years.... maybe i'll keep this up as a hobby... its one of the only things that relaxes me... so i might as well keep it up...
so for now i'll just keep on downloading dancing videos and try out the moves for now... hahaha... thats it for now peeps... a dios~~
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
3rd October 2006(Evolution Part IV - Its a Time For Action)
well right now i have a lot on my mind.....
one is the biz project i'm negotiating... i knew there was goin to be alot to do but the authorities arent makin it easier for me.... i really really hate the beauracaracy crap they're giving me.....
the other thing is that once again i'm having mixed feelings on what i REALLY want to accomplish b4 i expire... sum ppl r just so damn pesimistic that they just dun believe in miracles... its kinda gettin on my nerves... they feel like they know everything but in true fact, they dont unless they have done it themselves.... even if they did, they give up and dun learn from their mistakes.... whats up with that?!
there r like a million opportunities in Brunei but they just dismiss it without considering it! i guess some people are just meant to stay the way they r for the rest of their life.... ppl keep on sayin that its hard to do this, hard to do that.... but hav they really tried it? nope! it sorta bothers me when i think about them.... they try to pin guilt on me for not being like them.... they make it seem like a sin to wanna try something new...
but i learned the hard way that opportunities r there when u r brave enuf to sieze them... i missed a lot of good things due to fear... brunei still has a lot of untapped potential that can be used... i consider it a blessing to this country that there r people in this country that have the guts to move forward and make something of themselves.. it shows that we bruneians are worth something... we bruneians are more than justs ppl who take things that we have now for granted...
where was that fire that we used to have? didnt one of our brunei sultan conqured most of south east asia? all of us have that spirit within us... all we have to do is tap into it....
i plan to take brunei into the future... to make it prosper as it did in the old days.... and there r ord like minded ppl around me... we seize the opportunities by the neck and choke it till we get it!!
actions speak louder than words... but combine action and words together, you will have something more... i thank god for giving me a mind, i thank god for giving me life.... i'm eternally grateful for it... and i wont just waste it.... god, give me strength to go through the obstacles in front of me... god, give me strength to do what i must do....
for those of you out there.... open ur mind... open ur heart... utilise ur mind... listen to ur heart... you only have one life to live... dun waste it... thank you for reading this....
one is the biz project i'm negotiating... i knew there was goin to be alot to do but the authorities arent makin it easier for me.... i really really hate the beauracaracy crap they're giving me.....
the other thing is that once again i'm having mixed feelings on what i REALLY want to accomplish b4 i expire... sum ppl r just so damn pesimistic that they just dun believe in miracles... its kinda gettin on my nerves... they feel like they know everything but in true fact, they dont unless they have done it themselves.... even if they did, they give up and dun learn from their mistakes.... whats up with that?!
there r like a million opportunities in Brunei but they just dismiss it without considering it! i guess some people are just meant to stay the way they r for the rest of their life.... ppl keep on sayin that its hard to do this, hard to do that.... but hav they really tried it? nope! it sorta bothers me when i think about them.... they try to pin guilt on me for not being like them.... they make it seem like a sin to wanna try something new...
but i learned the hard way that opportunities r there when u r brave enuf to sieze them... i missed a lot of good things due to fear... brunei still has a lot of untapped potential that can be used... i consider it a blessing to this country that there r people in this country that have the guts to move forward and make something of themselves.. it shows that we bruneians are worth something... we bruneians are more than justs ppl who take things that we have now for granted...
where was that fire that we used to have? didnt one of our brunei sultan conqured most of south east asia? all of us have that spirit within us... all we have to do is tap into it....
i plan to take brunei into the future... to make it prosper as it did in the old days.... and there r ord like minded ppl around me... we seize the opportunities by the neck and choke it till we get it!!
actions speak louder than words... but combine action and words together, you will have something more... i thank god for giving me a mind, i thank god for giving me life.... i'm eternally grateful for it... and i wont just waste it.... god, give me strength to go through the obstacles in front of me... god, give me strength to do what i must do....
for those of you out there.... open ur mind... open ur heart... utilise ur mind... listen to ur heart... you only have one life to live... dun waste it... thank you for reading this....
Monday, October 02, 2006
1st October 2006(Evolution Part III-Blogging Lessons)
people nowadays.... i read a few blogs during the past few weeks and i'm quite dissappointed actually.... some people just cant blog properly... i know this might sound arrogant but seriously, when i want to read someone's account of things, i want to be able to read it and understand it.... i dun want to read it and try to decifer the code in which it is written in.... some blogs are just so badly written that half the time i'm trying to understand what they're trying to say...... i mean really, i care enuf to read what they write but they just dun care enuf to actually make it readable.... and just for that, i've made a list of how to write a proper blog.....
- it should contain understandable english and slangs
- at least some form of structure is needed , haphazard writing should be avoided
- some use of grammar would be preferrable
- try to organize the blog into sections or just break them up so that they can be read easily
- dont clutter your posts with too many symbols or item
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
20th September 2006 (Evolution Part II - Lonely in Gorgeous~~)
well well well... part II of the blog..... sorry it took too long... hahaha! i discovered a new thing i like.... its an anime on tv right now.. paradise kiss... my taste in anime is very... how can i out it.... peculiar... very few animes catch my attention.. and this one has gotten me hooked... it was the theme song that got me interested... lonely in gorgeous by Tommy February6..... some people might think the anime strange but it has some thing that caught my attention... i still dont know what it is..... here are the lyrics of the song...
Lonely in Gorgeous - Tommy February6
anyway, my life has definitely changed quite a bit over the past few weeks... and i kno there are more changes to come soon... talked to a friend of mine a couple of days ago on MSN... he said to me "you better get yourself a girl quick man".... to most people that might sound like peer pressure but its not... he knows what im goin thru.... amidst all the work and projects, i've sort of forgotten about girls.... the loneliness is still there but with me being preoccupied with other things, its been set aside... but i kno that once i have free time, the loneliness will start to kick in..... sigh.... at the moment, all i can do is keep my eyes open.... with the waythings are going now, i dont know what is in store for me in the future... so well just wait and see...
my friend and i began to talk about the projects i'm doing and i just found out that i can actually help his dad out.... at this moment in time, i'm still in negotiations but truth be told i know its a done deal... i have to keep my chin up, back straight and move forward..... take nomore bullshit or crap from any posers.... a lot of people are counting on me.... cant let anything take my focus away... i have to be..... fearless.....
Jay Chou
he ming you ji hui he
.................................................................................................................... i have no more stuff to say now......... well ppl... thats the end of part II.... to be continued.....
Lonely in Gorgeous - Tommy February6
- Gozen reiji, tobidashita
- Tobira wo ketobashite
- Garasu no kutsu ga warete
- Doresu mo yabureta
- Nee akirete iru n' deshou?
- Oikaketemo konai
- Namida ga afurete
- Mou hashirenai wa...
- Jerashii kamo... se-tsu-na-i...!!
- "Lonely in Gorgeous" Yeah...
- Party night...I'm Breaking my heart
- Imasugu mitsukete dakishimete hoshii
- Heddoraito ga hikaru
- ...where are you Bad boy?
- Ai no Sukaafu de namida wo fuite
- Nani mo mienai
- Hoshikuzu wo kakiatsume
- Anata ni butsuketai
- Naze kamau no?
- Jibun shika ai senai kuse ni...
- Shitsuren kamo... maji na no...?!
- "Lonely in Gorgeous" Yeah...
- Party time...umaranai
- Anata ga inai to karappo na sekai
- Yume no tsudzuki ga mitai
- "I miss you Bad boy"
- Kirameki no naka ni tojikomenaide
- Kowarete shimau wa
- "Lonely in Gorgeous"
- I'm Breaking my heart
- Where are you Bad boy?
- "Lonely in Party night"
- "Lonely in Gorgeous"
- I'm Breaking my heart
- I miss you Bad boy
- "Lonely in Party time"
- "Lonely in Gorgeous" Yeah...
- Party night...waraenai
- Nani mo iranai tada soba ni ite
- "Lonely in Gorgeous" Yeah...
- Party night...
- I'm Breaking my heart
- Anata ga nokoshita
- Kirameki no hako no naka de
- Kodoku wo daite ugokenai
- Nani mo iranai no tada soba ni ite
- Hizamazuite watashi wo mite
- Ai wo chikatte
- At midnight, I rushed out
- I kicked the door,
- My glass slipper broke,
- and I also tore my dress
- Hey, it's disgusting, isn't it?
- Even if I chase you, you won't come
- Tears fill up my eyes
- and I can't run anymore
- Maybe it's jealousy... I'm s-a-d...!!
- "Lonely in Gorgeous" Yeah...
- Party night...I'm Breaking my heart
- I want you to find me and hold me now
- My headlights are shining
- ...where are you Bad boy?
- I wipe away my tears with the scarf of love
- and I can't see anything
- I want to gather up the stardust
- and throw them at you
- Why should I care?
- You can't love anyone but yourself...
- Maybe it's heartbreak... For real...?!
- "Lonely in Gorgeous" Yeah...
- Party time...I won't bury it
- When you're not here, it's an empty world
- I want to see the continuation of the dream
- "I miss you Bad boy"
- I won't be locked up in the glitter,
- I'll break it down
- "Lonely in Gorgeous"
- I'm Breaking my heart
- Where are you Bad boy?
- "Lonely in Party night"
- "Lonely in Gorgeous"
- I'm Breaking my heart
- I miss you Bad boy
- "Lonely in Party time"
- "Lonely in Gorgeous" Yeah...
- Party night...I can't laugh
- I don't need anything, just stay by my side
- "Lonely in Gorgeous" Yeah...
- Party night...
- I'm Breaking my heart
- In the sparkling box
- You left behind,
- I held my loneliness and can't move
- I don't need anything, just stay by my side
- Get down on your knees, look at me,
- and swear you love me.
anyway, my life has definitely changed quite a bit over the past few weeks... and i kno there are more changes to come soon... talked to a friend of mine a couple of days ago on MSN... he said to me "you better get yourself a girl quick man".... to most people that might sound like peer pressure but its not... he knows what im goin thru.... amidst all the work and projects, i've sort of forgotten about girls.... the loneliness is still there but with me being preoccupied with other things, its been set aside... but i kno that once i have free time, the loneliness will start to kick in..... sigh.... at the moment, all i can do is keep my eyes open.... with the waythings are going now, i dont know what is in store for me in the future... so well just wait and see...
my friend and i began to talk about the projects i'm doing and i just found out that i can actually help his dad out.... at this moment in time, i'm still in negotiations but truth be told i know its a done deal... i have to keep my chin up, back straight and move forward..... take nomore bullshit or crap from any posers.... a lot of people are counting on me.... cant let anything take my focus away... i have to be..... fearless.....
Jay Chou
Huo Yuan Chia(Fearless)
he ming you ji hui helei tai deng zhe
sheng si zhuang
ying liao shen me
leng xiao zhe
tian xia shui de
di yi you ru he
zhi gan ge
wo bei shang wu de
wo de
quan jiao liao de
que nai he
tu zeng xu ming yi ge
jiang hu nan ce
shui shi qiang zhe
shui zheng yi tong wu lin de zi ge
xiao cheng li sui yue liu guo qu
qing che de yong qi
xi di guo de hui yi
wo ji de ni
jiao ao de huo xia qu
huo huo huo huo
huo huo huo huo
huo jia quan de tao lu zhao shi ling huo
wo wo wo wo
wo wo wo wo
huo zhe sheng ming jiu gai wan zheng du guo
wo wo wo wo
wo wo wo wo
guo cuo ruan ruo cong lai bu shu yu wo
huo huo huo huo
huo huo huo huo
wo men jing wu chu shou wu ren neng duo
sheng si zhuang
ying liao shen me
leng xiao zhe
tian xia shui de
di yi you ru he
zhi gan ge
wo bei shang wu de
wo de
quan jiao liao de
que nai he
tu zeng xu ming yi ge
jiang hu nan ce
shui shi qiang zhe
shui zheng yi tong wu lin de zi ge
xiao cheng li sui yue liu guo qu
qing che de yong qi
xi di guo de hui yi
wo ji de ni
jiao ao de huo xia qu
huo huo huo huo
huo huo huo huo
huo jia quan de tao lu zhao shi ling huo
wo wo wo wo
wo wo wo wo
huo zhe sheng ming jiu gai wan zheng du guo
wo wo wo wo
wo wo wo wo
guo cuo ruan ruo cong lai bu shu yu wo
huo huo huo huo
huo huo huo huo
wo men jing wu chu shou wu ren neng duo
.................................................................................................................... i have no more stuff to say now......... well ppl... thats the end of part II.... to be continued.....
Saturday, September 16, 2006
16th September 2006(Evolution)
hello peeps..... i dunno why i'm writing right now..... all my other posts were written for a reason.... i couldnt even decide wat title to put on this one... so i just put a name of a song by ayumi hamasaki...
i dont know what i'm feeling right now.... shud i continue writing this? maybe.... there's something that i cant put my finger on thats bugging me..... and i've been contemplating this for quite a while... remember me saying about da void in my soul?? right now i'm not sure wat it wants right now.... everyday passes, with stuff to do but ........ i wonder sometimes....... is this wat i want? am i fulfilling my purpose or someone else's purpose? i've got my friends.... i've got my money... i've got material things.... i've got dreams.... but in the end..... is that all? there's got to be more to life than just living and then dying..... i kno i might sound like i'm talking nonsense but.... thats wat i feel right now.... to tell u da truth..... i want to die..... haha dont worry! i'm not suicidal but i wonder about wat happens after you die.... is there really something waiting for me there? there's talk of heaven and hell... there's talk of reincarnation... maybe wat i'm feeling right now is one of those phases that people go thru at least once in their life... the feeling of unfulfillment.... the disatisfaction of just merely living..... had a talk a few days ago with my friend about life in general.... what he said got me thinking about my life, what i've done and my plans.... he said life is full of uncertainty.... all u can do is make the most of it and take in the good.... u cant judge people from just one point of view... people are unpredictable... people can hurt others... people can make others happy.... sigh..... at this moment in time, i believe in god..... i really do... this is the only certain thing i know.... people may mock or be surprised at the changes they see... its understandable... people judge u from your past actions... they dont know what i'm going thru right now... only 2 know... my friend and god..... he was quite surprised to hear it..... he knows wat i must do.... wat i can do is evolve.... hah! i'm taking the title into account now... yes... evolution.... i need to become more than just human... not a god but just more.... i want to break free from my constraints that i have right now..... i still yet to achieve freedom in my perspective... hah, i might sound like a blasphemer.... talking about beeing something more than wat god has created himself.... but in the book of god it also says that god is all giving to his servants.... so maybe it is possible.........
well i gtg.... got to do stufff.... part 1 complete... still more to do.... see ya for now...
i dont know what i'm feeling right now.... shud i continue writing this? maybe.... there's something that i cant put my finger on thats bugging me..... and i've been contemplating this for quite a while... remember me saying about da void in my soul?? right now i'm not sure wat it wants right now.... everyday passes, with stuff to do but ........ i wonder sometimes....... is this wat i want? am i fulfilling my purpose or someone else's purpose? i've got my friends.... i've got my money... i've got material things.... i've got dreams.... but in the end..... is that all? there's got to be more to life than just living and then dying..... i kno i might sound like i'm talking nonsense but.... thats wat i feel right now.... to tell u da truth..... i want to die..... haha dont worry! i'm not suicidal but i wonder about wat happens after you die.... is there really something waiting for me there? there's talk of heaven and hell... there's talk of reincarnation... maybe wat i'm feeling right now is one of those phases that people go thru at least once in their life... the feeling of unfulfillment.... the disatisfaction of just merely living..... had a talk a few days ago with my friend about life in general.... what he said got me thinking about my life, what i've done and my plans.... he said life is full of uncertainty.... all u can do is make the most of it and take in the good.... u cant judge people from just one point of view... people are unpredictable... people can hurt others... people can make others happy.... sigh..... at this moment in time, i believe in god..... i really do... this is the only certain thing i know.... people may mock or be surprised at the changes they see... its understandable... people judge u from your past actions... they dont know what i'm going thru right now... only 2 know... my friend and god..... he was quite surprised to hear it..... he knows wat i must do.... wat i can do is evolve.... hah! i'm taking the title into account now... yes... evolution.... i need to become more than just human... not a god but just more.... i want to break free from my constraints that i have right now..... i still yet to achieve freedom in my perspective... hah, i might sound like a blasphemer.... talking about beeing something more than wat god has created himself.... but in the book of god it also says that god is all giving to his servants.... so maybe it is possible.........
well i gtg.... got to do stufff.... part 1 complete... still more to do.... see ya for now...
Sunday, September 10, 2006
10th September 2006 (Play that funky music white boy!!)
yes you read the title right... found an old cd amongst some of my newer cd collections... "songs from ping's laptop" was engraved in white-out on the top of da cd... hehe... so being curious as ever, i popped da cd in and lo and behold, this song gets played!!! i forgot how fun this song was!! me and ajib actually made a theme song for lei with this song!!
Play that funky music
Yeah hey
Hey
Once there was a boogie singer
Playing in a rock and roll band
I never had no problems, yeah
burnin'out the one night stands
And everything around me
Got to start to feeling so low
And I decied quickly, yes is did
To disco down and check out this show
Yeah there was dancing
And singing
And moving to the grooving
And just when it hit me
Somebody turned around
And shouted
Play that funky music white boy
Play that funky music right
Play that funky music white boy
Lay down the boogie and play that funky music til you die
Til you die?
(Yeah)
Oh til you die
I tried to understand this
I thought that they where out of their minds
How could I be so foolish, how could I
To not see I was the one behind
So still I kept on fighting
Loosing every step of the way
(And what you do?)
I said I must go back there, got to go back
And check to see if things still the same
Yeah there were dancing
And singing
And moving to the grooving
And just when it hit me
Somebody turned around
And shouted
Play that funky music white boy
Play that funky music right
Play that funky music white boy
Lay down the boogie and wear that funky music til you die
Til you die?
(Yeah)
Oh til you die
Hey, wait a minute
Now first it wasn’t easy
Changing rock and roll and minds
And things where getting shaky
I thought I had to leave it behind
Now its so much better, it’s so much better
I’m funkying out in every way
But I’ll never lose that feeling, no I won’t
On how I learned my lesson that day
Yeah there were dancing
And singing
And moving to the grooving
And just when it hit me
Somebody turned around
And shouted
Play that funky music white boy
Play that funky music right
Play that funky music white boy
Lay down the boogie and play that funky music til you die
Til you die?
(Yeah)
Oh til you die
Thay shouted
Play that funky music
Play that funky music
Play that funky music
Play that funky music
Play that funky music white boy
Play that funky music right
Play that funky music white boy
Play that funky music right
Play that funky music white boy
hahahahaha!!!! this song still sounds good!!! played this song over and over in da car as loud as i could!! tapping my fingers, movin to the beat and singing along... i got weird looks from the people in the other cars but who cares!! and they were dancin, and singing, and movin to the grooving, and just when it hit me, somebody turned around and shouted, play that funky music white boy!~~~~~~ huahahahahahaha!!!!!
dat was the first time in weeks i was actually enjoying a song...... most of the songs that i listen to r like fast and loud... its kinda nice to go old school once in a while.... hehehe!!! i'll be playin this song for a good while in my car....
a good few hours ago, i had a chat with a very old friend of mine... turns out he's been readin my blogs (yay!) and checkin up on the stuff happenin back here... apparently, some of my blogs r so mixed up that he got some of the facts of my stories wrong... for the rest of you unknown readers out there, please leave comments if you find my blogs hard to follow.... i luvveeeeeee comments.... hahaha!!! makes me feel that i'm actually contributing something by writing these posts...
for this post i'm gonna steer away from my love life and write about other stuff thats been goin on... frankly i'm kinda sick and tired of writing about it, it doesnt make me feel any better.... so might as well just forget bout it for now... anyway~~~~
i have been officially appointed as....*drum roll* president of the bowling club!!!! unfortunately, due to the upcoming festivities and ramadhan, i shall have to postpone any activities till next semester... but i will hold a get together for new and old AJKS at bowling utama this sem... just need to figure out when.. lol!
i'm sooo glad i decided to stick around in brunei... even tho i'm gonna miss my classmates who r going off to UK in a few days, the new friends i made will somehow compensate for them.... class has been somehow extremely fun!! basically, for the first time in uni ever, i am liking wat i'm learning!!! financial management, business research methods, MIT, programming and business systems analysis!! i get to go back to wat i loved to do as a kid, learning about business and workin on computers!! programming class was a breeze!! VB is soooo easy nowadays... last time i did VB was when i was 17 and it was using the old software... now its damn easy... hahaha!!! BSA isnt too hard too, since most of the stuff in da course i've learned while i was in JIS!!! business reasearch methods was a tricky one at first but somehow i managed to get a solid picture of what the lecturer wants me to learn... financial management is sooo muchhhh funnnnnn!!! the lecturer's way of teaching is soo similar to a friend of mine.. hehehe!!! besides, i get to swear in his class!!! huahaha!!! MIT... need i say more??? its basically FIS and MIS rolled into 1... *yawn* been there, done that!!
there's this quote that one of my lecturers imparted with me in a lecture, "unlearn the past, invent the future"..... i've been reading thru my older blogs... i sounded like a freakin brat!! its to late to delete the posts anyway so i just keep them as a reminder of how stupid and foolish i was back then.... a very painful reminder.... with the words of wisdom imparted upon me, i shall unlearn my past and invent my future... there is so much us humans can do when we put our heart and soul into it... truth be told, humans are capable of changing... it just takes time... dats all.... i used to think i was already mature... but i was wrong.... even at this moment in time, i dont think i'm mature yet... maturity is a state of mind... its not dependent on age, gender or anythin... its hard to explain, yet easily recogniseable....
well..... i'm beat.... besides i'm fasting rite now.. hahaha.. well, its off to bed now!!!! hahahahah!!!!! thats it people, party is over!!!! adios!!
Play that funky music
Yeah hey
Hey
Once there was a boogie singer
Playing in a rock and roll band
I never had no problems, yeah
burnin'out the one night stands
And everything around me
Got to start to feeling so low
And I decied quickly, yes is did
To disco down and check out this show
Yeah there was dancing
And singing
And moving to the grooving
And just when it hit me
Somebody turned around
And shouted
Play that funky music white boy
Play that funky music right
Play that funky music white boy
Lay down the boogie and play that funky music til you die
Til you die?
(Yeah)
Oh til you die
I tried to understand this
I thought that they where out of their minds
How could I be so foolish, how could I
To not see I was the one behind
So still I kept on fighting
Loosing every step of the way
(And what you do?)
I said I must go back there, got to go back
And check to see if things still the same
Yeah there were dancing
And singing
And moving to the grooving
And just when it hit me
Somebody turned around
And shouted
Play that funky music white boy
Play that funky music right
Play that funky music white boy
Lay down the boogie and wear that funky music til you die
Til you die?
(Yeah)
Oh til you die
Hey, wait a minute
Now first it wasn’t easy
Changing rock and roll and minds
And things where getting shaky
I thought I had to leave it behind
Now its so much better, it’s so much better
I’m funkying out in every way
But I’ll never lose that feeling, no I won’t
On how I learned my lesson that day
Yeah there were dancing
And singing
And moving to the grooving
And just when it hit me
Somebody turned around
And shouted
Play that funky music white boy
Play that funky music right
Play that funky music white boy
Lay down the boogie and play that funky music til you die
Til you die?
(Yeah)
Oh til you die
Thay shouted
Play that funky music
Play that funky music
Play that funky music
Play that funky music
Play that funky music white boy
Play that funky music right
Play that funky music white boy
Play that funky music right
Play that funky music white boy
hahahahaha!!!! this song still sounds good!!! played this song over and over in da car as loud as i could!! tapping my fingers, movin to the beat and singing along... i got weird looks from the people in the other cars but who cares!! and they were dancin, and singing, and movin to the grooving, and just when it hit me, somebody turned around and shouted, play that funky music white boy!~~~~~~ huahahahahahaha!!!!!
dat was the first time in weeks i was actually enjoying a song...... most of the songs that i listen to r like fast and loud... its kinda nice to go old school once in a while.... hehehe!!! i'll be playin this song for a good while in my car....
a good few hours ago, i had a chat with a very old friend of mine... turns out he's been readin my blogs (yay!) and checkin up on the stuff happenin back here... apparently, some of my blogs r so mixed up that he got some of the facts of my stories wrong... for the rest of you unknown readers out there, please leave comments if you find my blogs hard to follow.... i luvveeeeeee comments.... hahaha!!! makes me feel that i'm actually contributing something by writing these posts...
for this post i'm gonna steer away from my love life and write about other stuff thats been goin on... frankly i'm kinda sick and tired of writing about it, it doesnt make me feel any better.... so might as well just forget bout it for now... anyway~~~~
i have been officially appointed as....*drum roll* president of the bowling club!!!! unfortunately, due to the upcoming festivities and ramadhan, i shall have to postpone any activities till next semester... but i will hold a get together for new and old AJKS at bowling utama this sem... just need to figure out when.. lol!
i'm sooo glad i decided to stick around in brunei... even tho i'm gonna miss my classmates who r going off to UK in a few days, the new friends i made will somehow compensate for them.... class has been somehow extremely fun!! basically, for the first time in uni ever, i am liking wat i'm learning!!! financial management, business research methods, MIT, programming and business systems analysis!! i get to go back to wat i loved to do as a kid, learning about business and workin on computers!! programming class was a breeze!! VB is soooo easy nowadays... last time i did VB was when i was 17 and it was using the old software... now its damn easy... hahaha!!! BSA isnt too hard too, since most of the stuff in da course i've learned while i was in JIS!!! business reasearch methods was a tricky one at first but somehow i managed to get a solid picture of what the lecturer wants me to learn... financial management is sooo muchhhh funnnnnn!!! the lecturer's way of teaching is soo similar to a friend of mine.. hehehe!!! besides, i get to swear in his class!!! huahaha!!! MIT... need i say more??? its basically FIS and MIS rolled into 1... *yawn* been there, done that!!
there's this quote that one of my lecturers imparted with me in a lecture, "unlearn the past, invent the future"..... i've been reading thru my older blogs... i sounded like a freakin brat!! its to late to delete the posts anyway so i just keep them as a reminder of how stupid and foolish i was back then.... a very painful reminder.... with the words of wisdom imparted upon me, i shall unlearn my past and invent my future... there is so much us humans can do when we put our heart and soul into it... truth be told, humans are capable of changing... it just takes time... dats all.... i used to think i was already mature... but i was wrong.... even at this moment in time, i dont think i'm mature yet... maturity is a state of mind... its not dependent on age, gender or anythin... its hard to explain, yet easily recogniseable....
well..... i'm beat.... besides i'm fasting rite now.. hahaha.. well, its off to bed now!!!! hahahahah!!!!! thats it people, party is over!!!! adios!!
Monday, August 28, 2006
28th August 2006 (The Dilemma)
i'm at crossroads..... or maybe its the shisha gettin to my head..... lol! but seriously.... i bet you ppl must have experienced what i'm experiencing rite now.... the sense of elation of seeing someone even if its just a name on a screen... even for a few seconds.... the sense of anticipation of the next time you cross paths.... the enigma of online based relationships.... close yet far... intimitate yet vague.... well its happened to me... i dunno how and why but its happened....
it all started off with just a friendly game among strangers..... a meeting of chance.... we soon started to talk more... played more games... departed after exchanging contacts... thought nothing of it.... no harm done right? what are the chances of meeting up and talking again? very slim.. but it happened... we played again... this time for a long period.... a lot more talking... a lot more laughs... it must have been at least 5 hours that we played... maybe it was more.. i couldnt feel the time... it just wizzed by.... after the fourth time..... things got serious.... we continued playin together.... even though my friends and ger friends were around and calling us for a game... we went on our way... it was strange at first but it soon felt soooo right... we became a great combination.... when playing with others around we showed our best game but between ourselves, we just relaxed and had fun.... even though we havent meet face to face, we felt like we know each other well enough... whenever the other is online, it only takes a few seconds before a simple "hi!" pops up... she went online just to look for me.. and so did i.... then she did something out of the blue... she saw that my character didnt have much items to show for, so she gave me a gift... quite an expensive gift... it caught me by surprise.... all i could say was thank you... to most people, that would have been the end of it... she would have just disappeared or completely ignored me most of the time.... but.... it still went on.... she gave me the gift on saturday and said she'll see me next friday..... but on monday... she went online at her cousin's house, even though she didnt need to, and came looking for me for a few games.... luckily i just signed in at the same time... her presence caught me by surprise... but alas, i had to decline because i had things to do... secretly i wished i didnt have to go but, duty calls... when i finally finished, i went back online to look for her but to no avail... she went offline.... but she left a msg behind, "i'll see you this friday ya?? bye2!!"..... haiiiiiii........ why cant i wait??? i cant even be bothered to play games without her around....
the gift.... the attention.... is it all just plain... friendship? maybe... being a pessimist myself, i cant see any of this meaning anything.... a part of me want to believe.... is it wrong??? thats the dilemma....
"Can't Wait" - Yuki Hsu & Yoo Seung Jun
When I hear your voice over the line.
All I wanna do is to keep you on my mind.
I only had one thought. How long?
Don't wanna play the fool.
How did we end up like this baby?
Just wanna play it cool.
I knew I'd always promise.
Won't you tell me baby boo what you want what you need maybe,
I'll be the one that you need till I die baby.
Let me tell you about the things that you don't realize,
so let me televize my love so you can fantasize.
Conjuction-Function but look at the situation.
Don't waste time let's have a conversation.
It's kind of sad but that's our only option.
Let's keep it down low till I get there uh
Yuki :
Lian er duo dou zhong la
hua shuo tai duo sheng yin dou ya le
bao zhe dian hua you dian ai kun hai she bu de gua
Yeah,that's how it is ,as I keep on reminess,
you know I keep it real oh yes
we've got to deal with this, but I'm sick of this, bullshit
acting stupid for the Show-biz Gee-whiz
but wait I'll be there, when I'm done with this
Yuki :
Wo zuo tian shui tai wan xiang ni xiang dao san dian ban
zao shang cong cong mang mang wang de wang xing guo de yi tuan luan
hen rong yi bu nai fan
zong xian shi zhong zou de na me man
xiang you ping chang xin tan lian ai you dian nan
Xian zai jiu xiang ma shang jian dao ni jiu xiang ma shang kao zhe ni
bie shuo yi tian jiu lian yi miao dou kuai deng bu ji
ni shuo ni ye ke wang jiang re qing zu yi suo huo jian na kuai di
sui ran kua zhang hai shi gan jue tian mi mi
My heart is always with you even though we're apart baby.
I know you're sad and blue but that can't take us apart.
Get away from the dark baby come and see the light.
Yuki,in my dream I could with in my Mitsubishi.
But times going, going are gone it's gone
like the wind that can't stop, but stop not at the bus stop,
you and my drop top.
Yeah put time in lock.That's right.
You and me baby messing around in the parking lot.
Xiang zhu wo
Don't wake me up.
Take the time to explain my mind ???
Gen zhu wo
You so fine I wanna make you mine
Zhi xiang yong yuan zai yi qi
Can you be with me?
Live in luxury,and we be making precious history.
I keep your picture by my bed so I can know you're in my head.
Take my hand by your hand,and I will always be your man.
You gotta trust in me like I would trust in you,
Baby close your eyes and my love will see you through.
Yuki :
Zong you ren bu xian fan
zhao ni you guo lai da shan
mei ci dou hui rang wo te bie xiang ni jue de hao gu dan
yao yuan de ju li jiu you bu an duo zai xin li zhuan
jin ye yue liang wan wan xin qing you dian lan
Xian zai jiu xiang ma shang jian dao ni jiu xiang ma shang bao zhe ni
bie shuo yi tian jiu lian yi miao dou kuai deng bu ji
deng dai dui ai lai shuo xiang ku xi
que yong you shen qi de mo li ta
hao rang jian mian zai tian ye dou bu hui mi
If you keep this in your mind, we will make it through this time.
You will find, it's a sign, it's written in my rhyme.
Even though we are apart, you are always in my heart.
Honey stay with me forever and through any thing endeavor.
Can we make it through this phase,
I will see you through this maze.
If you put your faith in me,happy ending it will be.
That's a promise Yuki,have a little patience,
and in time, you'll see.
hhmmmmm................ even i myself is unsure of hat is going to happen in the future.... in my last post i mentioned a new chapter, a new beginning... the girl in that post has not said or done anything.... am i to blame? i suppose yes.... but its still left to time... only time can tell... on one hand, there's this blossoming friendship... on the other hand, there's this fading, almost non existent relationship... which would you choose???
it all started off with just a friendly game among strangers..... a meeting of chance.... we soon started to talk more... played more games... departed after exchanging contacts... thought nothing of it.... no harm done right? what are the chances of meeting up and talking again? very slim.. but it happened... we played again... this time for a long period.... a lot more talking... a lot more laughs... it must have been at least 5 hours that we played... maybe it was more.. i couldnt feel the time... it just wizzed by.... after the fourth time..... things got serious.... we continued playin together.... even though my friends and ger friends were around and calling us for a game... we went on our way... it was strange at first but it soon felt soooo right... we became a great combination.... when playing with others around we showed our best game but between ourselves, we just relaxed and had fun.... even though we havent meet face to face, we felt like we know each other well enough... whenever the other is online, it only takes a few seconds before a simple "hi!" pops up... she went online just to look for me.. and so did i.... then she did something out of the blue... she saw that my character didnt have much items to show for, so she gave me a gift... quite an expensive gift... it caught me by surprise.... all i could say was thank you... to most people, that would have been the end of it... she would have just disappeared or completely ignored me most of the time.... but.... it still went on.... she gave me the gift on saturday and said she'll see me next friday..... but on monday... she went online at her cousin's house, even though she didnt need to, and came looking for me for a few games.... luckily i just signed in at the same time... her presence caught me by surprise... but alas, i had to decline because i had things to do... secretly i wished i didnt have to go but, duty calls... when i finally finished, i went back online to look for her but to no avail... she went offline.... but she left a msg behind, "i'll see you this friday ya?? bye2!!"..... haiiiiiii........ why cant i wait??? i cant even be bothered to play games without her around....
the gift.... the attention.... is it all just plain... friendship? maybe... being a pessimist myself, i cant see any of this meaning anything.... a part of me want to believe.... is it wrong??? thats the dilemma....
"Can't Wait" - Yuki Hsu & Yoo Seung Jun
When I hear your voice over the line.
All I wanna do is to keep you on my mind.
I only had one thought. How long?
Don't wanna play the fool.
How did we end up like this baby?
Just wanna play it cool.
I knew I'd always promise.
Won't you tell me baby boo what you want what you need maybe,
I'll be the one that you need till I die baby.
Let me tell you about the things that you don't realize,
so let me televize my love so you can fantasize.
Conjuction-Function but look at the situation.
Don't waste time let's have a conversation.
It's kind of sad but that's our only option.
Let's keep it down low till I get there uh
Yuki :
Lian er duo dou zhong la
hua shuo tai duo sheng yin dou ya le
bao zhe dian hua you dian ai kun hai she bu de gua
Yeah,that's how it is ,as I keep on reminess,
you know I keep it real oh yes
we've got to deal with this, but I'm sick of this, bullshit
acting stupid for the Show-biz Gee-whiz
but wait I'll be there, when I'm done with this
Yuki :
Wo zuo tian shui tai wan xiang ni xiang dao san dian ban
zao shang cong cong mang mang wang de wang xing guo de yi tuan luan
hen rong yi bu nai fan
zong xian shi zhong zou de na me man
xiang you ping chang xin tan lian ai you dian nan
Xian zai jiu xiang ma shang jian dao ni jiu xiang ma shang kao zhe ni
bie shuo yi tian jiu lian yi miao dou kuai deng bu ji
ni shuo ni ye ke wang jiang re qing zu yi suo huo jian na kuai di
sui ran kua zhang hai shi gan jue tian mi mi
My heart is always with you even though we're apart baby.
I know you're sad and blue but that can't take us apart.
Get away from the dark baby come and see the light.
Yuki,in my dream I could with in my Mitsubishi.
But times going, going are gone it's gone
like the wind that can't stop, but stop not at the bus stop,
you and my drop top.
Yeah put time in lock.That's right.
You and me baby messing around in the parking lot.
Xiang zhu wo
Don't wake me up.
Take the time to explain my mind ???
Gen zhu wo
You so fine I wanna make you mine
Zhi xiang yong yuan zai yi qi
Can you be with me?
Live in luxury,and we be making precious history.
I keep your picture by my bed so I can know you're in my head.
Take my hand by your hand,and I will always be your man.
You gotta trust in me like I would trust in you,
Baby close your eyes and my love will see you through.
Yuki :
Zong you ren bu xian fan
zhao ni you guo lai da shan
mei ci dou hui rang wo te bie xiang ni jue de hao gu dan
yao yuan de ju li jiu you bu an duo zai xin li zhuan
jin ye yue liang wan wan xin qing you dian lan
Xian zai jiu xiang ma shang jian dao ni jiu xiang ma shang bao zhe ni
bie shuo yi tian jiu lian yi miao dou kuai deng bu ji
deng dai dui ai lai shuo xiang ku xi
que yong you shen qi de mo li ta
hao rang jian mian zai tian ye dou bu hui mi
If you keep this in your mind, we will make it through this time.
You will find, it's a sign, it's written in my rhyme.
Even though we are apart, you are always in my heart.
Honey stay with me forever and through any thing endeavor.
Can we make it through this phase,
I will see you through this maze.
If you put your faith in me,happy ending it will be.
That's a promise Yuki,have a little patience,
and in time, you'll see.
hhmmmmm................ even i myself is unsure of hat is going to happen in the future.... in my last post i mentioned a new chapter, a new beginning... the girl in that post has not said or done anything.... am i to blame? i suppose yes.... but its still left to time... only time can tell... on one hand, there's this blossoming friendship... on the other hand, there's this fading, almost non existent relationship... which would you choose???
Ni Bu Zai (You Are Not Here)
Dang shi jie zhi sheng xia zhe chuang tou deng
Ni na bian shi zao chen yi jing chu men
Wo ce shen gan dao ni zai zhuan shen
Wu shu mo shen ren
Zheng zai deng xia yi ge lu deng
Yi zai cuo shi bi ci cui ruo de shi fen
Bu guo ke wang yi ge wen de yu wen
Wo guan le deng
Hei an ba wo bing tun
Ni bu zai
Dang wo zui xu yao ai
Ni que bu zai
Wu ji deng dai xiang du bai de nan ai
Ni bu zai
Gao xing hai shi bei ai
Ni dou bu zai
Wo shou le shang zai tou tou hao qi lai
Dan ni bu zai
Bu zai
Shi jian zai an xia xu duo ci kuai men
Chen muo li ting jian zhuan dong de miao zhen
Yi ge ren chi fan zhe ge qing chen
Gu du yi ren fen
Ni di shen shuo ni you bie ren
Wo de hua tong zhi you zi ji de ti wen
Zen yang ren zhen ye bu yi ding cheng zhen
Ni shuo de dui
Wo bu de bu cheng ren
Na xie yao bai
Wo dou ming bai
Dou ming bai
Dan ni bu zai
Ai yi bu zai
Bu zai
Ni bu zai
Dang wo zui xu yao ai
Ni que bu zai
Yi ge ren fen shi liang jiao de lian ai
Ni bu zai
Gao xing hai shi bei ai
Ni dou bu zai
Xiang kong qi ban bu cun zai de cun zai
Zai mei you hen ji de ai
Ni bu zai
Dang wo xu yao ni de ai
Ni bu zai
You are not here..... thats why this has happened... i'm being pulled away... is this what you want?!?! misscalls are not replied, eye contact avoided....... again, only time can tell..... its not your choice, mine or anyone..... all we can do is wait......... if it were up to me i'd rather stay with you dear...... hmmmmmm....... time moves slowly for those who wait...... and i have been waiting for a long time........ my god..... why is this happening to me....... please... i beg of you... please give me peace of heart, mind and soul.... i feel that i dont have much time left in this world..... its the feeling that only the individual themselves can feel..... please.........
Ni na bian shi zao chen yi jing chu men
Wo ce shen gan dao ni zai zhuan shen
Wu shu mo shen ren
Zheng zai deng xia yi ge lu deng
Yi zai cuo shi bi ci cui ruo de shi fen
Bu guo ke wang yi ge wen de yu wen
Wo guan le deng
Hei an ba wo bing tun
Ni bu zai
Dang wo zui xu yao ai
Ni que bu zai
Wu ji deng dai xiang du bai de nan ai
Ni bu zai
Gao xing hai shi bei ai
Ni dou bu zai
Wo shou le shang zai tou tou hao qi lai
Dan ni bu zai
Bu zai
Shi jian zai an xia xu duo ci kuai men
Chen muo li ting jian zhuan dong de miao zhen
Yi ge ren chi fan zhe ge qing chen
Gu du yi ren fen
Ni di shen shuo ni you bie ren
Wo de hua tong zhi you zi ji de ti wen
Zen yang ren zhen ye bu yi ding cheng zhen
Ni shuo de dui
Wo bu de bu cheng ren
Na xie yao bai
Wo dou ming bai
Dou ming bai
Dan ni bu zai
Ai yi bu zai
Bu zai
Ni bu zai
Dang wo zui xu yao ai
Ni que bu zai
Yi ge ren fen shi liang jiao de lian ai
Ni bu zai
Gao xing hai shi bei ai
Ni dou bu zai
Xiang kong qi ban bu cun zai de cun zai
Zai mei you hen ji de ai
Ni bu zai
Dang wo xu yao ni de ai
Ni bu zai
You are not here..... thats why this has happened... i'm being pulled away... is this what you want?!?! misscalls are not replied, eye contact avoided....... again, only time can tell..... its not your choice, mine or anyone..... all we can do is wait......... if it were up to me i'd rather stay with you dear...... hmmmmmm....... time moves slowly for those who wait...... and i have been waiting for a long time........ my god..... why is this happening to me....... please... i beg of you... please give me peace of heart, mind and soul.... i feel that i dont have much time left in this world..... its the feeling that only the individual themselves can feel..... please.........
Saturday, August 26, 2006
26th August 2006 "I'm fed up!"
i'm fed up.... thats the title of a song by a french singer, Alizee... in french they say j'en ai marre... listening to it, it gave me some truth about somethings in my life.... the song is sang for and meant for girls... here's the full lyrics of it..
Bubbles and water
Legs up for hours
My goldfish is under me
To bathe for hours
Makes my mouth water
I’m “foamely” ecstatic
It’s not a problem
I lazy ‘round
Bubbly and stubborn
I lazy ‘round
Melon and water
Is just a dream
It makes me wonder
Is it a “sin” ?
Bubbles and water
Legs up for hours
“Bombs”, you keep away from me!
Today lying low
Twisting up my toes
I swim in such harmony
So what bothers me:
Chorus :
I’m fed up with loneliness
With my uncle overstressed
Fumbling, crawling for something
That never shows, just a dream.
I’m fed up with creeps crying
Over the past, such a sin
Not to be cool, but a fool
If I could mess up their rules.
I’m fed up with your complaints
Baby, well I’m not a saint!
Fed up with the rain, the plane…
That makes me throw up again.
I’m fed up with all cynics
Bathing caps and all critics
I’m fed up with being fed up! Poor me !
Bubbles and water
Legs up for hours
My goldfish still under me!
Delight of pleasures
Aquatic treasures
A place out of misery, my fantasy
Chorus :
I’m fed up with loneliness
With my uncle overstressed
Fumbling, crawling for something
That never shows, just a dream.
I’m fed up with creeps crying
Over the past, such a sin
Not to be cool, but a fool
If I could mess up their rules.
I’m fed up with your complaints
Baby, well I’m not a saint!
Fed up with the rain, the plane…
That makes me throw up again.
I’m fed up with all cynics
Bathing caps and all critics
I’m fed up with being fed up! Poor me !
I’m fed up with loneliness
With my uncle overstressed
Fumbling, crawling for something
That never shows, just a dream.
I’m fed up with creeps crying
Over the past, such a sin
Not to be cool, but a fool
If I could mess up their rules.
I’m fed up with your complaints
Baby, well I’m not a saint!
Fed up with the rain, the plane…
That makes me throw up again.
I’m fed up with all cynics
Bathing caps and all critics
I’m fed up with being fed up!
well, at first glance it might seem like a very dirty song... to be honest, i practically laughed when i heard the english version of this song.. the french one sounded nicer but since i was curious of what she was singing about... well you get the picture.... lol! for all of you out there who cant be bother to contemplate what i meant about the truths about this song... it would be my pleasure to enlighten you... the important piece of the song is the chorus... notice that the chorus is sang over and over? once you read it over, its not that hard to realise the meaning of it... i'm fed up with being fed up.... its about someone who is fed up with people judging, criticising, forcing someone to do things that they dont want to... its also about being able to be who you are and making people understand that you are what you are.... nothing could change that.... unless god wills it....
for all of you who were curios enough to check this song out... the video is pretty sexy and hot... i mean seriously hot.... turns out this girl alizee is actually quite young and quite married at the age of 22...with one kid mind you... what makes it even wierder is that a fren of mine did mention her name to me a few years back... quite a coincedence eh?
even though the song is clearly meant for girls, i cant help but feel that i have the same point of view... why do people criticise? why do people judge? why do people force? is it our nature to have that sort of tendencies towards others? why do we tend to try our best to affect others to bend to our will?? i've met and known people who are like that... they live by the rule "its my way or the highway"....their reasons for doing so? "do onto other before it is done onto you".... so does that mean, you must do harm to other before they can do harm to you?? thats a question no one can answer... humans are very complicated creatures... some people do the darnest things to get attention... the stunt done onto me left me speechless... i still cant comprehend her feelings... is it mere coincedence? i hope so... i dont like being the cause of pain... it weighs on my soul like an anchor... bringing me down...the seven sins.. superbia (hubris/pride), avaritia (avarice/greed), luxuria (extravagance, later lust), invidia (envy), gula (gluttony), ira (wrath), and acedia (sloth)... i've done my best to curb these from myself... being reserved.. as my mother would say, " dont be so kepoh about other people! mind your own business!".... i try to keep my nose clean.... when people are busy doing something or are with someone, i leave them be... turns out some people get the wrong picture... they tend to label me as being cold, hostile, offensive.... it cant be helped no matter how much i try.... we are human, thus we act like so....
my life now, is pretty calm.... managable responsibilities... relaxed life... however there is still an emptyness inside of me... a longing as some people would describe it... the need to have someone special in your life... its the kind of thing that cant be ignored cause it will literally eat your soul... some people say i'm too picky... i have to agree with them... when i dont the slightest feeling of love for them, it would just be a kind of torture for both sides... knowing that that person doesnt love you and the fact that that person is in love with someone else... i'm the kind of person who would do anything for that special person... not caring the price or suffering i have to go thru... the greatest gift i can give is my undivided attention.. not money, not luxury... i have a confession to make, here and now.... the reason why i left my ex was because she didnt want my attention... she was in pain of a headache.. i wanted to comfort her and help ease the pain anyway i can... but... she brushed me off.. when i got close she just ran away from me... imagine the one you care about practically running away from you and strongly refusing your help... now imagine that happening 3 times in a row... thats what happened.... i couldnt take it.. so, i broke it off... some people thought it was harsh.. even my mother thought so... but when you think about, if this is going to happen often in the future, which option would you choose?? living together, knowing that problems like this will be recurring and being powerless against it? i would suppose you could choose a fate other than that.... however, thats not to say that she was the only one at fault.... i too was at fault... my method of breaking up with her was harsh... i gave her the coldest treatment ever... i did not smile, i did not speak, i did not say hi, i did not do anything with her, towards her... nothing.... i can only imagine how bad i broke her heart... she wrote me a letter and included some pictures of us together.... i didnt read the letter for months nor did i look at the pictures.. all i could picture was her, running away from me.... everytime i saw that, rage boiled inside me.... finally, one of my frenz decided to open the letter and read it to me... out of impulse of rage, i burnt the letter and the pictures.... yes... i burnt them... stupid me... all i have left of our relationship was a shirt she gave me and a ring with an engraving on it... both gifts lost.... do i have regrets? yes i do, who wouldnt? she was a beautiful girl but she was not destined to be with me... after breaking up and it still holds until now... i have not been able to have a serious relationship... i have some speculation as to what might cause it but i'm still not sure... hav i been cursed? maybe.. it is gods punishment for treating my ex? maybe... now the feeling of longing is gnawing at my soul..... me being unable to quench it.....
as i write these words on this page, i keep on thinking about things that have gone in the past... the brave things, the sweet things, the stupid things.... thinking about how i couldve done better at this or that.... thinking about how i couldve prevented things from happening... thinking about the different life i would lead.... my times of need, my times of joy, my times of sadness.... these past few days have been very eventful... there is a special someone out there that made me write this post.... have i caused you pain?? have i been cold to you?? i dont mean to be like that!!! even now i'm still unsure whether or not it is really my fault... the truth is... i'm scared and angry at the sametime... angry at the fact that you didnt tell me in my face... scared of the fact that it is my fault to begin with.... the question is... do you want me, or dont you? i still want you and i always will.... the proof? i've not tried to or attempted to go out with another girl ever since i met you.... most of my frenz say its best to move on and i've tried.... god knows i've tried.... tried hanging out with more and more people.. i've tried not caring what you do and what your activities are.... but i still cant block you out... finally i just gave up blocking... gave up not thinking bout you...... i just cant... silently, i watch... this song reminds me of you...
You're just too good to be true
I can't keep my eyes off you
You feel like heaven to touch
I wanna hold you so much
At long last love has arrived
And I thank God I'm alive
You're just too good to be true
Can't take my eyes off you
Pardon the way that I stare
There's nothing else to compare
The sight of you makes me weak
There are no words left to speak
But if you feel like I feel
Please let me know that it's real
You're just too good to be true
Can't take my eyes off you
I love you, baby
And if it's quite all right
I need you, baby
To warm the lonely nights
I love you, baby
Trust in me when I say
Oh, pretty baby
Don't bring me down, I pray
Oh, pretty baby
Now that I found you, stay
And let me love you, baby
Let me love you
You're just too good to be true
I can't keep my eyes off you
You feel like heaven to touch
I wanna hold you so much
At long last love has arrived
And I thank God I'm alive
You're just too good to be true
Can't take my eyes off you
I love you, baby
And if it's quite all right
I need you, baby
To warm the lonely nights
I love you, baby
Trust in me when I say
Oh, pretty baby
Don't bring me down, I pray
Oh, pretty baby
Now that I found this day
Let me love you, baby
Let me love you
to those of you who are curious as to who this girl is.... that i shall not reveal.... time will do that... its time to start a new chapter.... whether this girl wants to be a part of it or not is entirely up to her... there is a fair chance that she might be reading this.... considering that we know each other... if you are reading this, know this... it was you who chose to remain frenz, i try to offer help anyway i can but most of the time it is refused, i try to get to know you but you refuse to talk, i gave misscalls but most of the time they're not returned, i gave msgs but they were not replied.... i'm constantly reminded of you... i need you... i've always needed you..... if this blog does not get aired, that would mean that i'm just too scared.. but if this blog does get published, that means i hope for the girl to give me a sign... anything... i want to be a part of her life... this post might be the corniest thing i've ever written EVER but thats just how i am.. a hopeless romantic... i hope to hear from you dear..... i really do.................................
Bubbles and water
Legs up for hours
My goldfish is under me
To bathe for hours
Makes my mouth water
I’m “foamely” ecstatic
It’s not a problem
I lazy ‘round
Bubbly and stubborn
I lazy ‘round
Melon and water
Is just a dream
It makes me wonder
Is it a “sin” ?
Bubbles and water
Legs up for hours
“Bombs”, you keep away from me!
Today lying low
Twisting up my toes
I swim in such harmony
So what bothers me:
Chorus :
I’m fed up with loneliness
With my uncle overstressed
Fumbling, crawling for something
That never shows, just a dream.
I’m fed up with creeps crying
Over the past, such a sin
Not to be cool, but a fool
If I could mess up their rules.
I’m fed up with your complaints
Baby, well I’m not a saint!
Fed up with the rain, the plane…
That makes me throw up again.
I’m fed up with all cynics
Bathing caps and all critics
I’m fed up with being fed up! Poor me !
Bubbles and water
Legs up for hours
My goldfish still under me!
Delight of pleasures
Aquatic treasures
A place out of misery, my fantasy
Chorus :
I’m fed up with loneliness
With my uncle overstressed
Fumbling, crawling for something
That never shows, just a dream.
I’m fed up with creeps crying
Over the past, such a sin
Not to be cool, but a fool
If I could mess up their rules.
I’m fed up with your complaints
Baby, well I’m not a saint!
Fed up with the rain, the plane…
That makes me throw up again.
I’m fed up with all cynics
Bathing caps and all critics
I’m fed up with being fed up! Poor me !
I’m fed up with loneliness
With my uncle overstressed
Fumbling, crawling for something
That never shows, just a dream.
I’m fed up with creeps crying
Over the past, such a sin
Not to be cool, but a fool
If I could mess up their rules.
I’m fed up with your complaints
Baby, well I’m not a saint!
Fed up with the rain, the plane…
That makes me throw up again.
I’m fed up with all cynics
Bathing caps and all critics
I’m fed up with being fed up!
well, at first glance it might seem like a very dirty song... to be honest, i practically laughed when i heard the english version of this song.. the french one sounded nicer but since i was curious of what she was singing about... well you get the picture.... lol! for all of you out there who cant be bother to contemplate what i meant about the truths about this song... it would be my pleasure to enlighten you... the important piece of the song is the chorus... notice that the chorus is sang over and over? once you read it over, its not that hard to realise the meaning of it... i'm fed up with being fed up.... its about someone who is fed up with people judging, criticising, forcing someone to do things that they dont want to... its also about being able to be who you are and making people understand that you are what you are.... nothing could change that.... unless god wills it....
for all of you who were curios enough to check this song out... the video is pretty sexy and hot... i mean seriously hot.... turns out this girl alizee is actually quite young and quite married at the age of 22...with one kid mind you... what makes it even wierder is that a fren of mine did mention her name to me a few years back... quite a coincedence eh?
even though the song is clearly meant for girls, i cant help but feel that i have the same point of view... why do people criticise? why do people judge? why do people force? is it our nature to have that sort of tendencies towards others? why do we tend to try our best to affect others to bend to our will?? i've met and known people who are like that... they live by the rule "its my way or the highway"....their reasons for doing so? "do onto other before it is done onto you".... so does that mean, you must do harm to other before they can do harm to you?? thats a question no one can answer... humans are very complicated creatures... some people do the darnest things to get attention... the stunt done onto me left me speechless... i still cant comprehend her feelings... is it mere coincedence? i hope so... i dont like being the cause of pain... it weighs on my soul like an anchor... bringing me down...the seven sins.. superbia (hubris/pride), avaritia (avarice/greed), luxuria (extravagance, later lust), invidia (envy), gula (gluttony), ira (wrath), and acedia (sloth)... i've done my best to curb these from myself... being reserved.. as my mother would say, " dont be so kepoh about other people! mind your own business!".... i try to keep my nose clean.... when people are busy doing something or are with someone, i leave them be... turns out some people get the wrong picture... they tend to label me as being cold, hostile, offensive.... it cant be helped no matter how much i try.... we are human, thus we act like so....
my life now, is pretty calm.... managable responsibilities... relaxed life... however there is still an emptyness inside of me... a longing as some people would describe it... the need to have someone special in your life... its the kind of thing that cant be ignored cause it will literally eat your soul... some people say i'm too picky... i have to agree with them... when i dont the slightest feeling of love for them, it would just be a kind of torture for both sides... knowing that that person doesnt love you and the fact that that person is in love with someone else... i'm the kind of person who would do anything for that special person... not caring the price or suffering i have to go thru... the greatest gift i can give is my undivided attention.. not money, not luxury... i have a confession to make, here and now.... the reason why i left my ex was because she didnt want my attention... she was in pain of a headache.. i wanted to comfort her and help ease the pain anyway i can... but... she brushed me off.. when i got close she just ran away from me... imagine the one you care about practically running away from you and strongly refusing your help... now imagine that happening 3 times in a row... thats what happened.... i couldnt take it.. so, i broke it off... some people thought it was harsh.. even my mother thought so... but when you think about, if this is going to happen often in the future, which option would you choose?? living together, knowing that problems like this will be recurring and being powerless against it? i would suppose you could choose a fate other than that.... however, thats not to say that she was the only one at fault.... i too was at fault... my method of breaking up with her was harsh... i gave her the coldest treatment ever... i did not smile, i did not speak, i did not say hi, i did not do anything with her, towards her... nothing.... i can only imagine how bad i broke her heart... she wrote me a letter and included some pictures of us together.... i didnt read the letter for months nor did i look at the pictures.. all i could picture was her, running away from me.... everytime i saw that, rage boiled inside me.... finally, one of my frenz decided to open the letter and read it to me... out of impulse of rage, i burnt the letter and the pictures.... yes... i burnt them... stupid me... all i have left of our relationship was a shirt she gave me and a ring with an engraving on it... both gifts lost.... do i have regrets? yes i do, who wouldnt? she was a beautiful girl but she was not destined to be with me... after breaking up and it still holds until now... i have not been able to have a serious relationship... i have some speculation as to what might cause it but i'm still not sure... hav i been cursed? maybe.. it is gods punishment for treating my ex? maybe... now the feeling of longing is gnawing at my soul..... me being unable to quench it.....
as i write these words on this page, i keep on thinking about things that have gone in the past... the brave things, the sweet things, the stupid things.... thinking about how i couldve done better at this or that.... thinking about how i couldve prevented things from happening... thinking about the different life i would lead.... my times of need, my times of joy, my times of sadness.... these past few days have been very eventful... there is a special someone out there that made me write this post.... have i caused you pain?? have i been cold to you?? i dont mean to be like that!!! even now i'm still unsure whether or not it is really my fault... the truth is... i'm scared and angry at the sametime... angry at the fact that you didnt tell me in my face... scared of the fact that it is my fault to begin with.... the question is... do you want me, or dont you? i still want you and i always will.... the proof? i've not tried to or attempted to go out with another girl ever since i met you.... most of my frenz say its best to move on and i've tried.... god knows i've tried.... tried hanging out with more and more people.. i've tried not caring what you do and what your activities are.... but i still cant block you out... finally i just gave up blocking... gave up not thinking bout you...... i just cant... silently, i watch... this song reminds me of you...
You're just too good to be true
I can't keep my eyes off you
You feel like heaven to touch
I wanna hold you so much
At long last love has arrived
And I thank God I'm alive
You're just too good to be true
Can't take my eyes off you
Pardon the way that I stare
There's nothing else to compare
The sight of you makes me weak
There are no words left to speak
But if you feel like I feel
Please let me know that it's real
You're just too good to be true
Can't take my eyes off you
I love you, baby
And if it's quite all right
I need you, baby
To warm the lonely nights
I love you, baby
Trust in me when I say
Oh, pretty baby
Don't bring me down, I pray
Oh, pretty baby
Now that I found you, stay
And let me love you, baby
Let me love you
You're just too good to be true
I can't keep my eyes off you
You feel like heaven to touch
I wanna hold you so much
At long last love has arrived
And I thank God I'm alive
You're just too good to be true
Can't take my eyes off you
I love you, baby
And if it's quite all right
I need you, baby
To warm the lonely nights
I love you, baby
Trust in me when I say
Oh, pretty baby
Don't bring me down, I pray
Oh, pretty baby
Now that I found this day
Let me love you, baby
Let me love you
to those of you who are curious as to who this girl is.... that i shall not reveal.... time will do that... its time to start a new chapter.... whether this girl wants to be a part of it or not is entirely up to her... there is a fair chance that she might be reading this.... considering that we know each other... if you are reading this, know this... it was you who chose to remain frenz, i try to offer help anyway i can but most of the time it is refused, i try to get to know you but you refuse to talk, i gave misscalls but most of the time they're not returned, i gave msgs but they were not replied.... i'm constantly reminded of you... i need you... i've always needed you..... if this blog does not get aired, that would mean that i'm just too scared.. but if this blog does get published, that means i hope for the girl to give me a sign... anything... i want to be a part of her life... this post might be the corniest thing i've ever written EVER but thats just how i am.. a hopeless romantic... i hope to hear from you dear..... i really do.................................
Saturday, January 28, 2006
28th Januray 2006 (The Dream is Everything!!)
i've got it!!! i've really got it!!! i've got my dream!! i know what i want!! i know how to get it!!! it's go time!! its do time!!! it's time for 30days of rejection!! 30 days of tiredness!!! some quit!! others go diamond!!!
meeting peter cox for the first time is one hell of a experience that can't be described in words.. it was one of those moments where you have an out of body experience... where you can actually feel what he's telling you... you can feel his words... you can imagine yourself in his place... what if i did this, what if i did that... what if i succeed?! you wont know till you try... you wont know till you pay the price...
i won't wait for people to believe in my dream!! not my brother, not my friends, no one!!!!! it's MY dream!!!! i wan't my dream so bad it hurts.... thats why i don't care whether or not my partners are with me or not... i'll do it anyway... it's ME... to hell with people who let their dreams slip away because of circumstances.. A man with a dream will not be denied!!!! i will not be denied of my dreams!!! its is my right!!! a right given by god!!! to live a free life!!! to live in freedom!!!! god put us on each to achieve great things!!! and i plan to complete it!!!
what are you waiting for!?!?!?
meeting peter cox for the first time is one hell of a experience that can't be described in words.. it was one of those moments where you have an out of body experience... where you can actually feel what he's telling you... you can feel his words... you can imagine yourself in his place... what if i did this, what if i did that... what if i succeed?! you wont know till you try... you wont know till you pay the price...
i won't wait for people to believe in my dream!! not my brother, not my friends, no one!!!!! it's MY dream!!!! i wan't my dream so bad it hurts.... thats why i don't care whether or not my partners are with me or not... i'll do it anyway... it's ME... to hell with people who let their dreams slip away because of circumstances.. A man with a dream will not be denied!!!! i will not be denied of my dreams!!! its is my right!!! a right given by god!!! to live a free life!!! to live in freedom!!!! god put us on each to achieve great things!!! and i plan to complete it!!!
what are you waiting for!?!?!?
Monday, November 28, 2005
28th November 2005
what a day, what a day, what a day... i'm like so fired up for exams to end... cant wait... most of the time i end up writting my feelings of the day n how things went for me n my outlook towards the world... well guess what???? i will do just that!!!!
my trip to KL this January is gonna be a blast!!! get to go on holiday n meet a few new friends... hopefully i get to go to KK n singapore this december... meet up with family... god i havent seen them in along time.. heard they were doing great... cant wait to meet em... =)
life for me now although single has been ok.... not much of a whinner now than i used to be... i can see where i went wrong n what mistakes not to make... its much easier this way....
well gotta go... got stuff to do... adios peeps... where ever you are... ;)
my trip to KL this January is gonna be a blast!!! get to go on holiday n meet a few new friends... hopefully i get to go to KK n singapore this december... meet up with family... god i havent seen them in along time.. heard they were doing great... cant wait to meet em... =)
life for me now although single has been ok.... not much of a whinner now than i used to be... i can see where i went wrong n what mistakes not to make... its much easier this way....
well gotta go... got stuff to do... adios peeps... where ever you are... ;)
Thursday, October 20, 2005
20th October 2005 (All for one and one for all... more or less..)
it has been quite a while peeps... miss me?? hahaha guess not... well here i am again.. whether u like it or not... hahaha i'm so mean.... i checkd out the msn spaces from messenger.. not bad, not bad... could use a little work tho... in terms of customization... man have i been busy... gotthe business up and running... building and building and building... 3 weeks plus and ord 20+ deep... wow!!! i couldnt believe it myself.. but i cant stop now... must keep momentum going.... which is why i feel exhausted all the time... coupled witht the assigments and stuff, its been one hell of a few weeks.... but i know this hard work wont go to waste.... i'm sure of it... i can feel its worth.... all i need to do is hold my head up high and just keep on moving forward... cant stop... some people might say i'm pushing myself too hard... well u only live once right? might as well give everything ur best shot... because i dun want to live with regrets... its one thing to have not tried something but to regret not trying it is worse... to live in a world where negativity is the menu of the day is quite a challange... thank god to my team... they've been there for me since day 1 and i hope they'll support me through my trying days... i've only been in for 3 weeks + so i'm still pretty green... i hope to learn more from my mentor cause he's one great man with a lot of experience and skill to hand down... and i want to be there to catch every bit of it... it might sound a bit too greedy but hey, i'd rather be greedy of knowledge than greeedy of debt or loans... i'm more financially intelligent now than i was a few weeks ago... i'm now interested on being a financial planner... it sounds easy but its not... i've had a go at that kind of job n i find it very rewarding... i guess being just an accountantisnt enough for me... i'm looking for better and harder things to test my true self to the limit... at this point of time i dun understand people when they say they cant do or they just dont have time to do certain things... to me that sounds ridiculous.. if other people can do it so can i right???? well i guess thats it for now peeps.. gotta go do my thing.... adios amigos...
Monday, September 26, 2005
25th September2005 (I Just Want You To Know...)
wow... wat an end to a very very eventful month... well in my case it was eventful... it was like being enlightened several times... or to put in a less dignified way, it was like i was piss drunk and high 24/7... let me see... i've been on a buzz everyday, working my ass off as if theres no tomorrow... i've been doin other people's work for a fee of course... i've had to readjust my attitude and way of thinking to the point of cracking my head into a few pieces n rearranging them... i've gotten my driving license which was so overdue... some people have now treated me in a different way... i've been called up by someone who's mobile no. is almost similar to mine... i've gotten a new cut which i have not had for a very long time... i've now know what i want out of life.... and i guess thats it....
hav u ever tried to forget about someone but cant seem to do it?? its like a invisible block inside your brain that u cant seem to throw out... u keep on thinking bout that person all the time... their smile... their face.. their personality... everything about them.... u might call it missing them... u might call it still hung up on them.... u know that no matter how hard u want to be with that person, it just cant happen... there's no link, no connection, no synergy.... ur brain tells u that u must let go n move on... but ur heart doesnt wanna.... sigh.... 4 people who say that its easy to forget bout them, they must be freakin heartless... everytime that person pasts through my mind, all those emotions that i felt for them comes rushing back... all the love, hate anger, jealousy... i guess the backstreet boys new song is a true thing... no matter how hurt or angry u become after a relationship, when u think about it, it was well worth it... and the funny thing is, u'd wish u could go back in time n do it again... there is nothing in this world that can compare to sweet memories... nothing.... well peeps i guess thats it for now... got class in a few minutes... adios amigos....
hav u ever tried to forget about someone but cant seem to do it?? its like a invisible block inside your brain that u cant seem to throw out... u keep on thinking bout that person all the time... their smile... their face.. their personality... everything about them.... u might call it missing them... u might call it still hung up on them.... u know that no matter how hard u want to be with that person, it just cant happen... there's no link, no connection, no synergy.... ur brain tells u that u must let go n move on... but ur heart doesnt wanna.... sigh.... 4 people who say that its easy to forget bout them, they must be freakin heartless... everytime that person pasts through my mind, all those emotions that i felt for them comes rushing back... all the love, hate anger, jealousy... i guess the backstreet boys new song is a true thing... no matter how hurt or angry u become after a relationship, when u think about it, it was well worth it... and the funny thing is, u'd wish u could go back in time n do it again... there is nothing in this world that can compare to sweet memories... nothing.... well peeps i guess thats it for now... got class in a few minutes... adios amigos....
Saturday, September 03, 2005
3rd September 2005 (Wake me up when september..... starts!!)
yes!!!! i hav done it!!!!! i have changed!!!!! well... i changed a bit.. i finally fixed up my handwritting a bit.. yes its not squigly or unreadable anymore.. if i can help it.. hehehe!!!! my focus has been solid for da past weeks.. focused on work, getting the work done, checkin if there's more n still givin room for a social life.. for now i feel great!!! i wanna get up n show da world wat i can do... i've also changed my personality a bit.. i kno some of u out there might object to this with reasons like "dats not being yourself" or "your not honest with yourself" or some other but i believe the changes i'm doing is for da better.. really i do... but if da changes somehow ends up making me the biggest jerk in da world, i'll admit defeat n return to my evil ways.. hehehhe!!! well the alterations arent really that drastic.. i've decided to open up my mind to new ideas, new approaches n new possibilities.. lets just say i've reached a new level of enlightenment for myself... call it a second awakening.. well peeps i've gotta run for now cause i'm using a comp in an office somewhere in uni (cant really tell u where for the sake of da doubt)... adios!!!!
Thursday, August 18, 2005
18th August 2005 (Feel Good Inc.)
yes people!!! the title is absolutely correct.... to some extent.. tomorrow's da peak for the chinese hungry ghost festival!!!! that means.... more bad dreams n sleepless nites for me!!!! thank god i dun have any important exams comin up or else i'd be toast.. who came up with this festival anyway?!?!? my guess is a few of our ancestors (from wayyyyyyyyyyyyyy back) began 2 experience strange phenomenons... sudden storms n such.. since they didnt know wat caused it they tot it was done by spirits n decided "hey! lets make a festival for da spirits so they'd be 2 drunk to be angry at us!!"... n u know da rest.. geez.. well i'm glad its almost over.. if i can get thru tonite without a single incident (which has never happened in da past 2 weeks) then i believe its truly over... for everyone else... for me, i'd wish these eyes could see so much... anyway, on a happier note, i made a few new friends.. but sadly some of them are going away 2 pursue studies abroad.. it was a pleasure meetin them even tho it was for a short while.. best of luck 2 all of them!!! u will be missed!! regarding studying abroad... i found out (after an intensive, long, minutes of Q & A with the coordinator) that i basically need an overall grade of 'A' for semester 3 and 4 if i wanna compete to go to sheffield.. an 'A'?! its hard enough maintainin a 'C' average!! but after several hours of thought n consideration... i've decided if thats wat it takes then i'll do it.. i dun wanna go 2 queensland cause da course there is essay-type course, thus i'll have 2 make due wit this news n pool all my resources into achieving this almost impossible goal... i really really really wanna go!! drat... cant i just get a 'C' n still go? sigh...
i decided 2 not take any additional courses this and next semester, no eca's and less socializing... boy, this is goin 2 be a long semester... well guess dats it for now.. i better get some sleep.. havent had one in 2 weeks... adios amigos...
i decided 2 not take any additional courses this and next semester, no eca's and less socializing... boy, this is goin 2 be a long semester... well guess dats it for now.. i better get some sleep.. havent had one in 2 weeks... adios amigos...
Monday, August 08, 2005
8th August 2005 (One Crazy And Long Night)
Ah... the second week... i feel revived... u wanna know why??? the first week of school ended with a bang but it only concerned 2 ppl... me n hyena.. lets just say we had one of our "boy's only" night out n we found n met a few new people along the way... both of us needed something 2 cheer us up n dat excursion brought us into a new light.. we made a deal that we'll keep each other's head focused on studies because neither of us, n i mean neither of us, can afford to mess up... n boy do we hav a long semester in front of us.. during our pre-excursion planning (we did this in a bookshop mind u), i met a girl whom i find quite cute.. the strange thing is.. she's not really my type of girl in terms of appearance.. but.. she somehow caught my attention... now believe it or not, she's the cashier of the shop (Argghh!!! secret's out!!! N yes i'm guilty!!).. see the thing that ticks me off the most was that i was so captivated n bewildered that i forgot 2 ask her name n her number... n me n hyena were practically talking bout our plans with her but somehow i forgot to ask her name!!!!! now me n hyena keep on referring to her as the "bookshop girl"... well all is not lost since we're (well it was my idea actually) going back 2 da shop before the end of this week 2 ask for her name n most im-por-tant-ly, her number... i hope i dun get shot down cause i'd really like 2 get 2 know her... i just hope i'm not somehow related to her cause if i was, boy does news travel fast in my family... but hyena n me are still wonderin bout her age n level of education.. yes yes i kno this might sound funny but its im-por-tant to know how old n how smart the girl is because lets face it, nobody would like 2 have a girlfriend who cant entertain u with her jokes n punish u in ways only she can imagine (hahaha kinky!!!)... if she cant get up 2 my standards then i'm sorry, she would have 2 be ignored (yes yes i kno dats evil but wat can i say, i am evil...).. so far, dat girl is still in da A list but how long can she stay there??? only time can tell... well i gotta scram, duty calls... adios peeps....
Thursday, August 04, 2005
4th August 2005 (The Collector)
i kno da title sounds a bit strange but no i didnt sell my soul 2 da devil... well at least not yet.. hahaha... ah da first week of school... kind of an auspicious week than any other week.. new faces, new classes, new challenges and not forgettin new problems.. i still havent forgotten my promise 2 myself.. i'm tryin my best 2 step up my game n its not as easy as it looks.. there r like so many temptations n if u kno me very well, u kno i wouldnt pass it up.. rarely do.. BUT i must resist!! must resist urge!! I AM MY OWN MASTER!!! but... in the end... i couldnt resist.. hehehe... well i guess u cant stop doin somethin so suddenly.. now i'm tryin to cut back little by little.. slowly changing my habits n state of mind to a more academic state.. i've been slowly goin 2 da library more n more 2 look 4 books that would be good references.. believe it or not i used 2 be quite da bookworm in my childhood.. reading this, reading that, absorbing information... my teachers helped a lot in feeding my thirst 4 knowledge.. they teached me stuff heleped me get through most of my exams not just then but right now as well... 2 my old teachers!! i salute u all!!! if it wasnt for them, i wouldnt be wat i am now... which is somehow a good thing n a bad thing at da same time.. well i certainly believe its a good thing (*cough*)... hehehe but seriously folks, for wat its worth, i really appreciate wat they did for me.. well thats that.. oh, the hostel canteens hav finally changed managements!!! (*yay*) but... somehow all the hype is all a bunch of crap.. da food is ok i guess but if i had money right now i'd rather eat out.. lets make a comparison.. the guys hostel canteen has a big screen tv with astro n a pool table.. the girls hostel canteen has a radio.. the guys canteen has ok food but tends to over spice n season.. the girls canteen also has ok food but some of their portions r 2 small... both canteens have great service... so now, which canteen is better??? i'll let u decide since i cant decide myself.. u know wat? if any of u hav tried the friendster games u'll kno wat i'm talkin bout.. da thing is if both players dun hav a good connection, it will lag so much that u wouldnt be able to take a shot... well peeps i'm runnin out of time so i guess this is it.. adios amigos.. ;)
Tuesday, July 19, 2005
19th July 2005 (Get tipsy!!!)
although u kno wat da title means but wat i've been doin durin da hols has been completely da opposite.. i've been sober... jeez.. its hard 2 believe.. i still remember when i'd sneak a drink from my secret stash.. (sorry hyena n z 4 not sharin!!).. since my stash ran out round bout da time exams finished, i havent had... wait... nope.. didnt hav a drop... hahaha... its funny tho... no withdrawal symptoms, no urges... nothing... but now that i mention it i've been missin da old occasionalo shot of spirit.. since i've been watchin discovery travel n adventure, i've started 2 build up my hunger 4 some spirits.. maybe a trip down 2 miri would do da trick... hehehe... it also seems like da only email i've been gettin is junk n notifications dat ppl hav updated their blogs on friendster (which is really annoying but da pros beat da cons of it).. i'll be gettin a new haircut tommorow!!! hope it'll be as good as my last one.. my hair now is so long dat it pokes n covers my neck like all da time.. will be sittin 4 my drivin license written test da day after (wish me luck).. cant wait 2 finally be able 2 drive roun on my own without havin 2 call up ppl 4 a ride.. i'd like 2 thank all my frenz who has had da annoying task of drivin me roun 4 so long.. i appreciate u guys (n girls).. with out u ppl, my life would hav been a total drag.. there's somethin i hav 2 confess.. after da visit from KUIM, i've started 2 feel a renewed vigor n spirit.. its like i now hav a goal n my drive is as high as ever.. rite now i WANT 2 study, i WANT 2 get good grades.. frankly i WANT 2 make money.. as much money as i can.. i hope this holds up... i cant let myself lose this... its time i really step up my game n get in da pace.. i jus realised dat life can never be easy no matter wat u say.. if u think u can just wait 4 a chance 2 come by u, ur absolutely wrong.. 2 get a chance u'll need 2 make it come 2 u.. u NEED 2 earn your chances my friend.. dats da main reason why i've changed my mind.. i'll just do it!!! no time 2 fool aroun any mo!! orientation starts next week!! hope i'll hav fun takin care of da new juniors n new sushi (thanks 4 da reminder marty!).. makin new friends has been quite a challange in my case but friendships dat i initiate (without da help of a third party) still hold strong up to this day.. when ever i meet up wit them we go bout as if we never seperated.. saying goodbye is always hard.. when we had 2 say goodbye 2 da KUIM students, i hav 2 confess i was in such a bad mood dat i almost wanted 2 scream n hold on 2 them so they wouldnt go... but my common sense was strong enough to resist dat urge.. *sniff*.. no matter how long or short a friendship is, it still hurts when u miss them.. (jaz, keyla, suhaib, syafiq.. i'm sorry i havent msged but i've been busy n my creds been low so please forgive me.) but i swear that i'll visit them when i get da chance.. da first chance i get, i'll take it... i've been havin wierd dreams again... one last night n another da night before.. one was about me n da guys being bored n was ready 2 go out wit a couple of girls which we somehow knew.. da other one i cant quite remember but it had da sme jist.. both had somethin 2 do wit goin out... i believe i'll be gettin a surprise this semester.. i'll just wait n see wat destiny has in store 4 me.. hehehe... well peeps i'm gettin tired n runnin out of stuff 2 write so i'll call it quits 4 now.. adios amigos.. =)
Monday, June 20, 2005
20th June 2005 "It's all about you..."
well peeps i'm back!!!! miss me?? hahaha!!! if u havent guessed from the title... u got it all wrong... i couldnt think of a title so i might as well put the title of the song dats been in my head 4 a while (thanks to fox).. its all about u... its a nice song i'll giv u dat.. meaningful lyrics.. its been a very long time... results came out n i did ok i guess (dis is comin 4 a guy who had a mind set of failing 2 of my courses).. things came n went.. in my case... the past, present n future came back 2 haunt me... as i said once 2 a friend, some things are better left dead n buried, never again 2 surface.. i've found out about certain things dat hav happen n frankly i wished i never did.. wow dat sounds like something out of a sci fi movie.. hahaha.. but its true... i never knew how certain actions n events could change certain things.. to think i could've been different from wat i am 2day.. its not dat i'm not grateful n all... but i wished i could've done certain things in my life differently.. god (2 all da animals out dere, u kno i'm serious).. sigh.. been catching up on stuff... its been so long dat my online game character has been partying n shopping like crazy... on the flip side he's freakin rich now.. hahaha!!!! people come n go but friends are here 2 stay... so i thought but it doesnt really matter since its only a remote case... so far i see no one has changed.. although they might change in apperance but i kno they're still da same.. n for dat i'm glad.. =) missin a few people who i havent seen in a long time... wish could see u all!!! i reallly doooo!!! hey hey guess wat?! i found something really cool.. read dis...
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hehehe!!! its so god damn funny!!! i fished it out of someone's list of testimonials (drey if ur reading this, i'm sorry but i had 2 do it! hehe!!) now where was i.... oh yes... today (yes i mean the moment i'm writing this) i found out something n my heart got crushed... yes it got crushed... wat hurt da most was dat dat person didnt mention it 2 me... not i word or peep... n dat hurt me even more.. i kno dat people need 2 keep some secrets but this secret shouldnt be kept.. well i'm not sure of it anyway but i'll find out soon enough if its true... damn.. why do i keep doing it 2 myself?!?!?! why do i hav 2 be two things at once?! the pessimist n the optimist.. the angel n the devil... whenever i try 2 pick a side, people always think i pick da wrong side... maybe they're right maybe they're wrong.. i dunno... i've been feeling too tired n sick 2 do anything bout it.. even my online game character is sick of his life... man... do i sound like a psycho or wat?! i dunno wats wrong with me... i've been havin wierd dreams.... always sad.. always angry.. always disappointed... never a happy ending.. wat happened 2 my other dreams dat have happy endings?!?! helloooo!!!! are u out there???? i need u 2 come back now!!!!! a 21yr old chinese-malay young adult needs help here!!!!!! (does dis sound familiar 2 u horse?? hehehe!!) ahhhh... feel a lot better now.. its good 2 release some tension once in a while by doing ridiculous stuff... wow!! guess wat?! i just found a few more old friends who i havent seen in a while!!! thank u friendster!!! been missing these guys so much n now i hav a chance 2 catch up with them!!!! yay!!!! hope they still remember me... ah jis... a school full of memories... i wonder how da old gang is doin.. if i remember well they did say dat we should hav a reunion every 8 years... guess everyone forgot bout it.. sigh.. i dunno how long i'll be in this world... yes i kno nobody knows dat but i kinda wished i did... u kno so i can make a list n then try 2 finish it off before my demise.. it may sound sad but didnt u ever wished dat u could've done this or done that?? uh uh uh!!!! (i kno, it makes me sound like a monkey) i found something again!!! read this...
+Testimonials Service:
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Testi charges for u lazy bitch like u that
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wait lah let me get back to kl u
slut...take care and have fun+
hahahaha!!! got this off another testi from someone.. man i dunno if the writer was pissed or it was just his sarcasm... i kno a few people who r like dat but dats why i love them sooo much!!!! a few of my frenz say i've changed... maybe i hav... some people started 2 treat me differently... there's my paranoid side talking again.. hahahaha!!! been in da hostel 4 quite a while now.. i havent been home... dunno why.. sigh.. sometimes people call me wierd bcoz of da things i do but when it comes down 2 it, they kno they dont really mean it.. if i'm happy, they're happy n vice versa... if i ever hav a reunion, i would make this speech..
+Ladies n gentlemen!!! its great 2 hav u all back!! gosh its been so long!! all of u look fantastic!! seeing ur faces brings back good memories. hope u all remember me. yes yes its me da kampung boy, fishballs, u kno da rest. i've missed u guys! i've kept in touch wit some of u but even then we didnt talk much. i hope u all hav great lives n achieved great things. i kno all of u are capable of it. after all these years, when i look back, no one could ever match up to u guys, n gals. u people were the best n forever will be, in my heart. well then, lets get this party started!!!!+
hahaha!!! well peeps gotta go... got a movie 2 watch.. luv u all.. adios!!!!
+Here is a meaningful testimonial.. this
is a meaningful testimonial as the
testimonial is meaningful.. not like those
meaningless testimonials such as
those with spaces and blanks and
nothing of it makes meaning.. however,
lucky you.. i'm gonna write for you a
meaningful testimonial and not like
those meaningless testimonials filled
with spaces and has no meaning to it at
all.. you wanna know why this
testimonial is meaningful ? because it is
not an empty testimonial with spaces
and only spaces with your name on it
along with the date which states the
time they actually wasted to press the
spacebar in order to waste your time by
checking it and accepting it just for the
sake of more testimonials.. and to
refresh your memory on what a
meaningful testimonial is, it is a
testimonial with meaning in it and not
just spaces and only spaces.. so,
there you go, your meaningful
testimonial and i hope you enjoy it very
much !!! is it meaningful ?+
hehehe!!! its so god damn funny!!! i fished it out of someone's list of testimonials (drey if ur reading this, i'm sorry but i had 2 do it! hehe!!) now where was i.... oh yes... today (yes i mean the moment i'm writing this) i found out something n my heart got crushed... yes it got crushed... wat hurt da most was dat dat person didnt mention it 2 me... not i word or peep... n dat hurt me even more.. i kno dat people need 2 keep some secrets but this secret shouldnt be kept.. well i'm not sure of it anyway but i'll find out soon enough if its true... damn.. why do i keep doing it 2 myself?!?!?! why do i hav 2 be two things at once?! the pessimist n the optimist.. the angel n the devil... whenever i try 2 pick a side, people always think i pick da wrong side... maybe they're right maybe they're wrong.. i dunno... i've been feeling too tired n sick 2 do anything bout it.. even my online game character is sick of his life... man... do i sound like a psycho or wat?! i dunno wats wrong with me... i've been havin wierd dreams.... always sad.. always angry.. always disappointed... never a happy ending.. wat happened 2 my other dreams dat have happy endings?!?! helloooo!!!! are u out there???? i need u 2 come back now!!!!! a 21yr old chinese-malay young adult needs help here!!!!!! (does dis sound familiar 2 u horse?? hehehe!!) ahhhh... feel a lot better now.. its good 2 release some tension once in a while by doing ridiculous stuff... wow!! guess wat?! i just found a few more old friends who i havent seen in a while!!! thank u friendster!!! been missing these guys so much n now i hav a chance 2 catch up with them!!!! yay!!!! hope they still remember me... ah jis... a school full of memories... i wonder how da old gang is doin.. if i remember well they did say dat we should hav a reunion every 8 years... guess everyone forgot bout it.. sigh.. i dunno how long i'll be in this world... yes i kno nobody knows dat but i kinda wished i did... u kno so i can make a list n then try 2 finish it off before my demise.. it may sound sad but didnt u ever wished dat u could've done this or done that?? uh uh uh!!!! (i kno, it makes me sound like a monkey) i found something again!!! read this...
+Testimonials Service:
1 testimonial- $5.00
2 testimonials- $15.00
4 testimonials- $30.00 + 1 Free.
10 testimonials- $80.00 + 2 Free
(with cute-cute pattern)
Add:-
Write good things- $5.99
Write GreAt things- $10.99
Write very very GOOD things- $20.99
Special packages:-
Package 1: Good things + Cute-cute
pattern= $20.99
Package 2: Good things + Cutiest
pattern= $30.99
Package 3: Write whatever I want to
write= $50.99 (coz i hav to think)
All in above not included government
tax 5% GST. 10% Service Charge
Included
too.
Payment of Choices:
Visa/Master
I-Chq/Chq
Nets/CashCard
Diner/A-Mex
or Cash...
Testi charges for u lazy bitch like u that
never write any for me oso asshole u
wait lah let me get back to kl u
slut...take care and have fun+
hahahaha!!! got this off another testi from someone.. man i dunno if the writer was pissed or it was just his sarcasm... i kno a few people who r like dat but dats why i love them sooo much!!!! a few of my frenz say i've changed... maybe i hav... some people started 2 treat me differently... there's my paranoid side talking again.. hahahaha!!! been in da hostel 4 quite a while now.. i havent been home... dunno why.. sigh.. sometimes people call me wierd bcoz of da things i do but when it comes down 2 it, they kno they dont really mean it.. if i'm happy, they're happy n vice versa... if i ever hav a reunion, i would make this speech..
+Ladies n gentlemen!!! its great 2 hav u all back!! gosh its been so long!! all of u look fantastic!! seeing ur faces brings back good memories. hope u all remember me. yes yes its me da kampung boy, fishballs, u kno da rest. i've missed u guys! i've kept in touch wit some of u but even then we didnt talk much. i hope u all hav great lives n achieved great things. i kno all of u are capable of it. after all these years, when i look back, no one could ever match up to u guys, n gals. u people were the best n forever will be, in my heart. well then, lets get this party started!!!!+
hahaha!!! well peeps gotta go... got a movie 2 watch.. luv u all.. adios!!!!
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