Monday, August 28, 2006

28th August 2006 (The Dilemma)

i'm at crossroads..... or maybe its the shisha gettin to my head..... lol! but seriously.... i bet you ppl must have experienced what i'm experiencing rite now.... the sense of elation of seeing someone even if its just a name on a screen... even for a few seconds.... the sense of anticipation of the next time you cross paths.... the enigma of online based relationships.... close yet far... intimitate yet vague.... well its happened to me... i dunno how and why but its happened....

it all started off with just a friendly game among strangers..... a meeting of chance.... we soon started to talk more... played more games... departed after exchanging contacts... thought nothing of it.... no harm done right? what are the chances of meeting up and talking again? very slim.. but it happened... we played again... this time for a long period.... a lot more talking... a lot more laughs... it must have been at least 5 hours that we played... maybe it was more.. i couldnt feel the time... it just wizzed by.... after the fourth time..... things got serious.... we continued playin together.... even though my friends and ger friends were around and calling us for a game... we went on our way... it was strange at first but it soon felt soooo right... we became a great combination.... when playing with others around we showed our best game but between ourselves, we just relaxed and had fun.... even though we havent meet face to face, we felt like we know each other well enough... whenever the other is online, it only takes a few seconds before a simple "hi!" pops up... she went online just to look for me.. and so did i.... then she did something out of the blue... she saw that my character didnt have much items to show for, so she gave me a gift... quite an expensive gift... it caught me by surprise.... all i could say was thank you... to most people, that would have been the end of it... she would have just disappeared or completely ignored me most of the time.... but.... it still went on.... she gave me the gift on saturday and said she'll see me next friday..... but on monday... she went online at her cousin's house, even though she didnt need to, and came looking for me for a few games.... luckily i just signed in at the same time... her presence caught me by surprise... but alas, i had to decline because i had things to do... secretly i wished i didnt have to go but, duty calls... when i finally finished, i went back online to look for her but to no avail... she went offline.... but she left a msg behind, "i'll see you this friday ya?? bye2!!"..... haiiiiiii........ why cant i wait??? i cant even be bothered to play games without her around....

the gift.... the attention.... is it all just plain... friendship? maybe... being a pessimist myself, i cant see any of this meaning anything.... a part of me want to believe.... is it wrong??? thats the dilemma....

"Can't Wait" - Yuki Hsu & Yoo Seung Jun

When I hear your voice over the line.
All I wanna do is to keep you on my mind.
I only had one thought. How long?

Don't wanna play the fool.
How did we end up like this baby?
Just wanna play it cool.
I knew I'd always promise.
Won't you tell me baby boo what you want what you need maybe,
I'll be the one that you need till I die baby.
Let me tell you about the things that you don't realize,
so let me televize my love so you can fantasize.
Conjuction-Function but look at the situation.
Don't waste time let's have a conversation.
It's kind of sad but that's our only option.
Let's keep it down low till I get there uh

Yuki :
Lian er duo dou zhong la
hua shuo tai duo sheng yin dou ya le
bao zhe dian hua you dian ai kun hai she bu de gua

Yeah,that's how it is ,as I keep on reminess,
you know I keep it real oh yes
we've got to deal with this, but I'm sick of this, bullshit
acting stupid for the Show-biz Gee-whiz
but wait I'll be there, when I'm done with this

Yuki :
Wo zuo tian shui tai wan xiang ni xiang dao san dian ban
zao shang cong cong mang mang wang de wang xing guo de yi tuan luan
hen rong yi bu nai fan
zong xian shi zhong zou de na me man
xiang you ping chang xin tan lian ai you dian nan

Xian zai jiu xiang ma shang jian dao ni jiu xiang ma shang kao zhe ni
bie shuo yi tian jiu lian yi miao dou kuai deng bu ji
ni shuo ni ye ke wang jiang re qing zu yi suo huo jian na kuai di
sui ran kua zhang hai shi gan jue tian mi mi

My heart is always with you even though we're apart baby.
I know you're sad and blue but that can't take us apart.
Get away from the dark baby come and see the light.
Yuki,in my dream I could with in my Mitsubishi.
But times going, going are gone it's gone
like the wind that can't stop, but stop not at the bus stop,
you and my drop top.
Yeah put time in lock.That's right.
You and me baby messing around in the parking lot.

Xiang zhu wo

Don't wake me up.
Take the time to explain my mind ???

Gen zhu wo

You so fine I wanna make you mine

Zhi xiang yong yuan zai yi qi

Can you be with me?
Live in luxury,and we be making precious history.
I keep your picture by my bed so I can know you're in my head.
Take my hand by your hand,and I will always be your man.
You gotta trust in me like I would trust in you,
Baby close your eyes and my love will see you through.

Yuki :
Zong you ren bu xian fan
zhao ni you guo lai da shan
mei ci dou hui rang wo te bie xiang ni jue de hao gu dan
yao yuan de ju li jiu you bu an duo zai xin li zhuan
jin ye yue liang wan wan xin qing you dian lan

Xian zai jiu xiang ma shang jian dao ni jiu xiang ma shang bao zhe ni
bie shuo yi tian jiu lian yi miao dou kuai deng bu ji
deng dai dui ai lai shuo xiang ku xi
que yong you shen qi de mo li ta
hao rang jian mian zai tian ye dou bu hui mi

If you keep this in your mind, we will make it through this time.
You will find, it's a sign, it's written in my rhyme.
Even though we are apart, you are always in my heart.
Honey stay with me forever and through any thing endeavor.
Can we make it through this phase,
I will see you through this maze.
If you put your faith in me,happy ending it will be.
That's a promise Yuki,have a little patience,
and in time, you'll see.

hhmmmmm................ even i myself is unsure of hat is going to happen in the future.... in my last post i mentioned a new chapter, a new beginning... the girl in that post has not said or done anything.... am i to blame? i suppose yes.... but its still left to time... only time can tell... on one hand, there's this blossoming friendship... on the other hand, there's this fading, almost non existent relationship... which would you choose???

Ni Bu Zai (You Are Not Here)


Dang shi jie zhi sheng xia zhe chuang tou deng
Ni na bian shi zao chen yi jing chu men
Wo ce shen gan dao ni zai zhuan shen
Wu shu mo shen ren
Zheng zai deng xia yi ge lu deng
Yi zai cuo shi bi ci cui ruo de shi fen
Bu guo ke wang yi ge wen de yu wen
Wo guan le deng
Hei an ba wo bing tun

Ni bu zai
Dang wo zui xu yao ai
Ni que bu zai
Wu ji deng dai xiang du bai de nan ai

Ni bu zai
Gao xing hai shi bei ai
Ni dou bu zai
Wo shou le shang zai tou tou hao qi lai
Dan ni bu zai
Bu zai

Shi jian zai an xia xu duo ci kuai men
Chen muo li ting jian zhuan dong de miao zhen
Yi ge ren chi fan zhe ge qing chen
Gu du yi ren fen
Ni di shen shuo ni you bie ren
Wo de hua tong zhi you zi ji de ti wen
Zen yang ren zhen ye bu yi ding cheng zhen
Ni shuo de dui
Wo bu de bu cheng ren

Na xie yao bai
Wo dou ming bai
Dou ming bai
Dan ni bu zai
Ai yi bu zai
Bu zai

Ni bu zai
Dang wo zui xu yao ai
Ni que bu zai
Yi ge ren fen shi liang jiao de lian ai

Ni bu zai
Gao xing hai shi bei ai
Ni dou bu zai

Xiang kong qi ban bu cun zai de cun zai
Zai mei you hen ji de ai
Ni bu zai
Dang wo xu yao ni de ai
Ni bu zai

You are not here..... thats why this has happened... i'm being pulled away... is this what you want?!?! misscalls are not replied, eye contact avoided....... again, only time can tell..... its not your choice, mine or anyone..... all we can do is wait......... if it were up to me i'd rather stay with you dear...... hmmmmmm....... time moves slowly for those who wait...... and i have been waiting for a long time........ my god..... why is this happening to me....... please... i beg of you... please give me peace of heart, mind and soul.... i feel that i dont have much time left in this world..... its the feeling that only the individual themselves can feel..... please.........

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